To be feeling guilty in advance...

[Silkwood]

This year DH and I are both 40 and it's our 10th wedding anniversary.

For years we've said that we'll go to New York for 3 nights by ourselves to mark this.

DD1 is 5 and DD2 is 2. MIL has said she is happy to have them for the time we're away. She looks after them regularly and they love her very much and vice versa. Other GPs have said they'll help out too (they're close to them too).

So so far, so good. Except that I'm just feeling guilty and anxious about it. DH and I have never been away from them together for more than 1 night. I keep having premonitions of one of them being ill and desperately wanting to get to them and not being able to.

DH and MIL think I'm being neurotic. AIBU?

No - you aren't being neurotic.

You are being a bit of a dafty though! They will be FINE - better than fine, they'll have a FAB time and barely notice you aren't there!

However, it is meant to be a nice/good/fun/exciting thing to do and if it's not, then it's a waste of money. Why not do something else, closer to home, this time and plan NY for another time.

Yes I think you're overreacting :)

Its only 3 nights. Let them spend the night with MIL before you go though so they are happy in her home overnight.

It sounds like this is going to ruin your anniversary unless you get a grip (in the kindest way possible) & it will spoil it for your DH as well. This anniversary will not happen again so either deal with it or cancel it.

Yes you are! Go, go, go. They will be fine. Yes you may worry a little - that is normal but you can't let it stop you going away. My DD are now 15 and 20 and speak fondly of being left with their grandparents while we went away for breaks by ourselves or with friends.

You are not being neurotic, the build up is always the worst bit, once the day arrives and you get going, it becomes 'OK'.

You will both have so much fun, and so will the kiddies and the GP's! Win win

how about having a practise run? If the DC go to MIL house for say 2 nights, you can stay home (so its not expensive) and just do what you want. Take away bottle of wine and a dvd etc or go out for the day.

Thanks everyone!! Your comments are full of good sense and you're all making me feel better. I think we will go. Haven't booked it yet. I'm telling myself that we'll only have this Anniversay once etc They have stayed at Mil's before but I think she'll stay at ours so so they'll still be at home.

Go! Promise us you'll go. OF COURSE you're thinking twice - that's what a parent does. But trust me, it'll bother you more than them. They'll be absolutely fine. You and dh deserve this trip. It's my dream to visit NY - enjoy.

I came on here to say if you are planning on doing something that will make you feel guilty then don't do it.

I have now changed my mind after reading the OP. You have no need tofeel guilty, you are not leaving them with strangers. You are leaving them with someone who loves them and who they love.

Go and enjoy it!!

Go for it! I plan on doing exactly the same for my 40th in September (but for 5 days )

I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever