about friend coming tonight.

[pleasewhattodo]

im having an awful day. ex partner is giving me a terrible time about sorting out our finances so we are independent, and ive been on the phone most of the day. feel quite upset. friend was meant to be coming for dinner tonight, i texted her to arrange time and she said 'oh im coming with sis in law'. i texted back that i don't have enough food cooked for the 3 of us and does she fancy going out for dinner instead. she texted back what about getting a chinese. to be honest, i really do not want to do tonight. i am not in the mood, i do not want to meet new people when im feeling so low, i have dinner cooked. i just feel like saying ive had a rough day and do you just want to get a chinese at yours with your sis in law. would that be rude?

She is being rude not you, I would never dream on bringing someone else along to a friends for dinner. Tell her that you are low, not in the mood to meet new people and arrange for either someone else to come around or to go out with someone else? Hope you sort out your ex situation, onwards and upwards lovely x

i would never do that either, and i put a lot of effort into making dinner for us. thanks i have just texted to say im having a hard time. she said about going to the pictures instead! ive said im just staying in to sort the finances out.

I have a friend who does this a lot. And she never seems to understand why i get narky about a random stranger along tagging along! You have my sympathy OP

YANBU she is! I would find a more supportive friend! Good luck with your problems

YANBU - cheeky thing to plan to bring someone else without checking first ! Have a quiet night in and good luck with the finances

Yanbu to stay in without her.

Did she know it was meant to be a tete-a-tete? Perhaps next time make it absolutely explicit - "chance for just the two of us to catch up".

Maybe she thought it would help to bring someone new to distract you,

One of my all time best friends, met me a few days after my mother funeral, I was in the middle of a complicated split up with my son's father, and was not in a good place,

I had no ability to put on niceties, and my lodger turned up with this woman, she responded to my dark humour, and after my obvious annoyance at her being in my space, she and I ended talking for hours, lodger went to the pub then bed.

she was sent by universe, twenty years later I am so thankful she is in my life, I think she met me at a very dark moment, so from that point on I knew she was not just a fair weather person, you do need tena lady pants to spend any time with her, she could make you laugh at your own funeral.

I bet your friend has told her you are having a tough time and is hoping her SiL will be useful, it maybe ill judged but she might be great.

I know she sounds UR, but give it a whirl, let them come tonight and share a Chinese.

It may help you stuff the crap of today into the past.

And what would you do otherwise? Sit in and feel sorry for your self?

Go out and talk to people!

She is a bit U but agree that someone else there might lighten the mood and I would think if she's your friends friend then she should be nice and sympathetic. However of you know this friend is a bit of a nightmare with stuff like this, agree with staying in and enjoying your lovely meal to yourself

Text her and ask her to bring some dessert/garlic bread/crisps etc to bulk up the meal.

I would rather have people with me than on my own. Hope you get sorted soon.

What did you do OP?

hi, thanks for all the replies. i did just stay in in the end... i felt if i couldn't just have my friend round like we planned i just needed some quiet time to process all that was going on. i needed to anyway as there was so much going on and still is. this particular friend always seems to cancel on me or to change plans last minute - its quite frustrating. so i don't feel quite so bad about cancelling on her for this once.