Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why should I pay for someone else's mum's care home?

327 replies

Ilovexmastime · 04/01/2013 12:29

I was just reading my DM's copy of The Express (I like to raise my blood pressure every so often) and came across this article: www.express.co.uk/posts/view/368525

It is an article about spending money that we give to the EU on old age care. There is a case study bit in it where a woman is complaining that they had to sell her mum's £140,000 bungalow to pay her £100,000 costs in a care home.

Am I missing something here? Why should I, as a taxpayer, pay for her mum's care home when she has enough money to cover it herself? It wasn't like her mother was ever going to leave the care home and move back home, so why not sell it?

OP posts:
AnyaKnowIt · 04/01/2013 12:31

Yeah but I'm guessing that the woman was a taxpayer who was paying for your education.

Swings and roundabouts...

jessjessjess · 04/01/2013 12:31

Tell you what. I'll stop paying for your medical treatment, police, roads and schools and then we'll talk, mmmkay?

sooperdooper · 04/01/2013 12:33

I agree with you, if someone has the funds available, either in cash or through the sale of a house then yes, they should sell the property and pay what needs to be paid - I don't see why she sees the money as 'going to the state' - it wasn't, it was going towards her mums care!!

PandaNot · 04/01/2013 12:34

Because one day someone else will be paying for yours? Hmm

Lilithmoon · 04/01/2013 12:36

I was just reading my DM's copy of The Express (I like to raise my blood pressure every so often) and came across this article: www.express.co.uk/posts/view/368525

It is an article about spending money that we give to the EU on cancer care. There is a case study bit in it where a woman is complaining that they had to sell her mum's £140,000 bungalow to pay her £100,000 costs in a hospital.

Am I missing something here? Why should I, as a taxpayer, pay for her mum's medical treatment when she has enough money to cover it herself? It wasn't like her mother was ever going to leave the hospital and move back home, so why not sell it?

Alisvolatpropiis · 04/01/2013 12:37
Biscuit

Lovely attitude you have there OP. YABU.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 04/01/2013 12:38

So - there are two elderly men, one has a couple of (grown) children, he's worked all his life and bought a home, hoping that his children will benefit when he dies - the other has partied his whole life, now they both need homes. The 'sensible' one is now punished for being sensible. Not really that fair is it?

DameMargotFountain · 04/01/2013 12:40

too right OP

we should only get out what we've paid in...how many children do you have being state educated and needed medical care

Hammy02 · 04/01/2013 12:41

YY chipping

cocoachannel · 04/01/2013 12:41

Because we live in a welfare state which is being systematically broken down enough as it is without further cuts to social care, please God.

Hammy02 · 04/01/2013 12:42

May as well just blow all the money while alive if it is going to the state when we die.

Megatron · 04/01/2013 12:45

Gosh, what a lovely way to think.

DH's nan never worked a day in her life, lived in the same council house for 50 years, new roof, kitchen, etc etc you get the picture.

She is now in a very nice care home (great place, happy that she's being taken care of). My next door neighbour who has worked all her life, has just had to sell her very small house to be in the same care home, though sadly it won't cover her care for very long so god knows what will happen then.

Hi Chipping

InExitCelsisDeo · 04/01/2013 12:46

I do sometimes worry about this situation, but it comes down to what Chipping wrote. My Dad may need to go into a care home some time soon, and if so we would have to sell his house to pay for it, but I have always secretly banked on the house as my inheritance. I know I have no right to it, but my parents were careful all there lives and a have a lovely home to show for it. However they, or me, will be the huge beneficiaries of the increase in house prices over the past 40 years, which is probably never going to be repeated.

SantasENormaSnob · 04/01/2013 12:49

Exactly what chipping said.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 04/01/2013 12:51

At the moment there's alot if people who can't buy their own properties. So when they are old what will they have to sell to pay for their care?

Iggly · 04/01/2013 12:52

YABU

You are not paying. You contribute to the goverment purse and they then redistribute it. We all pay, it's a collective thing.

Go live somewhere with no welfare provision or state provision if you don't like it.

Iggly · 04/01/2013 12:53

No chipping. What if the party goer worked hard, paid taxes and contributed to society? Whereas the sensible one only cared about his own?

BumpingFuglies · 04/01/2013 12:57

What a fucking attitude. Why should I pay my taxes so that you can have free NHS treatment?

Here OP, have a tax-payer funded Biscuit

perceptionreality · 04/01/2013 12:59

Hmm Biscuit

Original poster
Ilovexmastime · 04/01/2013 13:02

Sorry, should have been clearer... I have absolutely NO problem with paying for someone's mum to go in a care home if they have no money, it's just that I don't see why I should pay just so that their kids can inherit their house. Like sooper said, the money wasn't going to the state, it was going to pay for looking after her mum.
I can see that there is a problem with regards to the situation chipping described, ie punishing someone for being good, though. Maybe I just got too riled up over the woman's attitude. It seemed to me to be saying, why should I pay for my mum's care when the state could pay and then I get to keep the £140,000.

Ooo, I've never been flamed before, it's making me shake.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 04/01/2013 13:03

The council tax payers will pay for your next door neighbour too megatron so she won't be kicked out of her care home.

Original poster
Ilovexmastime · 04/01/2013 13:03

I also see that a lot of posters are comparing this to education, NHS etc. I hadn't really thought about it that way. I shall go away and think a bit more....

OP posts:
Brideandgloom · 04/01/2013 13:09

I kind of get where you're coming from. My gran-in-law (iyswim) is in a home but paid for by the state. She has a house which is worth a lot of money (over 500K) and her kids are working out how to legally keep the house and not pay for her care so that they still get the cash on her death.
That is the kind of attitude that stinks I think, But..... I do think you misunderstand the whole contributing to the general purse through taxes which then gets shared out through education etc.

I can guarantee my dd's education costs the state more than my grans nursing home.

MuddlingMackem · 04/01/2013 13:12

YABU, imo.

Grr! This really annoys me. People who are frugal and look after their money should be able to use that money for little extras and luxuries, not the basics that the profligate or 'never worked a day in their life' brigade get for nothing.

It isn't fair.

I don't give a stuff about an inheritance if my dad ever needs to go into a home, but I would like to think that proceeds from selling his house would be spend on extras to make his life more pleasant and enjoyable, not just paying the basic care home fees so that he could end up worse off than someone with no savings. Sad

Flatbread · 04/01/2013 13:12

Ilovexmas,

I agree with you. There is a sense of entitlement. If people have money, they ought to pay for their old age care.

In France, which has a big welfare state, people have to pay for their old age dare. If they don't have enough, their children have to pay. (At least this is how a French friend explained it to me)

Ultimately, there should be family responsibility. No one should be out on the streets, but nor should people think that they are entitled to state aid, despite having personal resources.

Swipe left for the next trending thread