On the flying ostrich that just shat on my car windscreen? driving home from my mums in my newly washed (this afternoon) sparkly clean car and some bastard bird has done the most enormous turd right across my windscreen. Bloody thing must be on a diet of all bran and araldite glue, spent 5 minutes with the wipers on full with screen wash and it won't budge! gah, fecking wildlife (wanders off muttering to find ice scraper to remove offending shite)