... to think it's rude to return a gift to its giver?

[cavell]

Real life examples from a family member:

1. Asked for a specific CD. When I bought it for her, she said she had mistakenly asked for it from someone else as well and so now had two. Would I exchange it?

1. Asked for a specific jumper in a particular size/colour from M&S. Found that the size she had asked for didn't actually fit. Would I exchange it?

1. Children given books for Christmas which were, basically, too young for them. Returned to giver with a request to change them for specified books.

AIBU to think that this is pretty rude behaviour? I would never dream of returning a gift to the giver and ask them to take it back. But is that just me? (Should also add that having to exchage these gifts has meant either paying extra postage costs to return stuff to Amazon or making a special trip to the shops to take stuff back.)

Gunfight? I should say Bunfight

After Christmas most shops exchange new stuff without receipts.
How rude! They should do it themselves.

And nomoremarbles, your dad sounds like a knobhead. Don't blame your sister for not talking to him.

I only tend to do it if it's my mum or sis - but always nicely.

This year, I got a bottle of Baileys from Mum which I like but am not mad about - whereas sis loves it. So I wondered if she had bought it for sis, especially as she had been talking about some chocolate sherry she'd seen in the shop and thought I'd like as I am rather partial to chocolate port, even though this year's version from M&S tastes much more synthetic than usual....

No chocolate sherry was forthcoming so figured it was worth asking!

Turns out she must have been having a senior moment in the supermarket because she didn't realise that she had bought the Baileys until she came to wrap it - she thought she'd bought the chocolate sherry. When she went back to the shop she discovered that there was sherry and baileys next to each other and her eyes must have gone temporarily skewy because they don't actually sell chocolate sherry...

Turns out that she likes Baileys lots so she has had it back and is going to sub me for the bottles of chocolate port I bought in M&S instead . Plus had a laugh about the mix up whilst I've also worried about it as she is nearly 80 and worry this is the start of a slippery slope after another couple of incidents over christmas

However, when others give me dodgy stuff, just smile, say thank you and stick them into the jumble box for school. I suspect school think I have completely awful taste for the things I send in, or they guess that I have a MIL etc with bad taste!

I do also get gift receipts for everything I buy once they start doing the christmas ones - not least because for some shops they let you return things with xmas receipts after xmas, whereas things you buy yourself you can't (and yes, TK Maxx you're one of the worst culprits for this!)

myfirstkitchen he is...of the lowest order! One time I bought him a rather expensive leather bound, inscribed complete football club history for Liverpool FC as he is football mad and had a season ticket at the time...he looked at the front and said, this is too big for the bookshelf and put it away not to be seen again...my nan said last year after my grandad died "oh son, would you want that book you bought for your dad as he did love it and would have wanted you to have it..." My dad had regifted it to my grandad for his birthday apparently...the cheeky, ungrateful, tightarsed bastard he is... I only do joint prezzies for them now (mum and dad) so he can only complain a little bit or I give him some tobacco and a voucher of some sort...

I wish I dared return a lovely scarf and gloves to my DSIL.

Unfortunately, Me, DD1, DF and my DSIS are all allergic to lambs wool and they are too big for DD2

Very rude indeed, and undermines the whole reasons of giving.
Luckily i have never encountered such behaviour, but in the unlikely event that i did i would stop all gifts to and from that particular person and declare "no presents for adults this year as i can't afford it".

Nomoremarbles sorry he is like that! Your poor mum! Hope the joint pressies are aimed more at her!

I have just lied to an aunt about her present to DS.
It was exactly the same as one he got last year, and not one that you can't have enough of.

So, my plan is to give it to some other kid later in the year.
Or donate to some organization.
Or sell on ebay...

I'd never ask her to exchange it because she lives 300 miles away from us.
I'd exchange if it had come with a gift receipt. (which, BTW, is a good thing to have if you can)

She is an enabler as she knows how he is and always has been and she just allows him to treat people like that with a roll of the eyes, with a fond look on her face and says "you know what your Dad's like" as if he has said something barely worth mentioning... If my DH mortified DD like the way he (my dad)has done to us for years I would divorce the shit out of him! Or at the very least tear him a new arsehole as he has no right to treat people like that and that is EXACTLY how my mum should approach the situation (IMO obv) but she lets him get away with it and tried to defend him passive aggressively...

Oh OP it would fuck me right off. Always in future, for this particular recipient, I would buy something they can return themselves and enclose the gift receipt. And I wouldn't be spending much!

NoMoreMarbles, your dad is shocking, it's telling when even a six year old is appalled. Can I suggest you and Dsis only buy for your mum in future?

My mum usually acts a bit disappointed by my gifts. Which is nice considering I put lots of thought and expense into them, and I'm often the only one out of four siblings that actually bothers (actually, lightbulb! Maybe my siblings know better..).

AlfalfaMum my mum's like that too. Sometimes opens them and puts them down without a mention. She's 82 now but always been this way. She takes so much stuff back. She actually liked a scarf I bought her this year from dcs. And I think she even liked the sweater I got her I did say if she didn't like it I'd wear it and give her cash so think that may have helped as she always says she wants to buy what I wear. I'm the same size.