I am separated from a selfish man who doesn't want to know me or his children. We have been away from him for over two years now.
Most days are ok. ish. But some days are so damn lonely and miserable. I daren't go to a diy shop for the numbers of happy couples. And so on, at the weekends its seems to be wall to wall happy families, its just depressing.
I do a good job for the children's sake, we have food, comfort and alot of fun. In the way that people have OCD about cleanliness, I am almost OCD about having a happy home. I work full time, and am on the go forever. I love my children, and want them to have the best they can have (after years of being emotionally terrorised), so my life is more or less devoted to meeting their needs. I must point out that I have alot of ground to make up. We led a horrible life, it will be years before we unwind. Most of this has been without support. Friends and relatives all said 'leave the bastard', but he is scarey and alienated me so leaving was done completely alone. Social Services were helpful, but bowed out of the picture once they knew we were all safely away from him.
Just recently it hit me that I am possibly going to be alone forever.
I love to talk (!!) and when I said that ^ to friends, they told me that I was ridiculous, silly, unreasonably, etc. They kindly pointed out how I look years younger than my real age (true, its genetic!! my granny looks almost like she could be my sister!!), am slim and dress ok.
But still, I feel like my opportunity to have a relationship with someone special has come and gone. I don't mean to be depressing, but really feel that I'll never again be madly in love or have the mind space to be able to open to meeting someone.
Am I unreasonable to think this?
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AIBU?
To Think that my boyfriend days are over?
10 replies
mumineedawee · 01/01/2013 02:55
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