I split with ex in August, it took me eight months to get him to leave after he made a number of attempts to rape me which was an escalation of controlling and abusive behaviour.
MIL said when we split that she didn't want to know why because it was none of her business, I respected that because its not something I would ever want to hear about my child so I didn't see the need to put her through that if I wasn't going to speak to the police about it.
I have spoken to the health visitor and the GP about access arrangements and they are happy with the fact that he sees them at his parents and is supervised or out in public all the time he has them, even if his parents don't know that they are supervising him, so they are happy not to investigate the situation themselves and leave it to my discretion unless I want them to.
He sees them one evening a week for tea and one day every other weekend 8 til 7, I am not happy with him having them overnight and the safeguarding woman told me that that would trigger an investigation anyway so they are not staying overnight and won't be anytime in the near future.
This week he is having them for three long days including two days together but the kids are coming home to sleep, MIL has been telling the kids how exciting it would be if they stayed over and all the things she would do with them so they have come home today asking about staying and I am left to explain that they aren't allowed which they obviously read as me not letting them.
ex is having treatment for mental health issues so in time things may change but right now they kids cannot stay over night without me being investigated by social services.
So would I be unreasonable to tell her the truth in the hope she would stop saying these things to my kids? I really don't want to be the one to tell her about her son but why should I be the one my kids are upset with because I'm stopping them doing something?