To mutter oh bugger off

[CockyPants]

Nigella. Repeatedly.

I prefer her to the bloody barefoot (oh I'm just putting together a 24 course meal for my Hollywood producer friend) Contessa .

Now her , I don't bother to mutter bugger off at . I yell it at the screen instead , nanoseconds before hitting the off switch.

I love her books.... But I can no longer bear to watch her practically orgasm over a pan of food. It's so false.

Not to mention that her inability to say "just" - "dust" and "something" - "sunthing" makes me very stabby indeed.

Similar reaction to Lorraine Pascal - that started when she "taught" the viewer how to "make" sausage rolls. With a pack of sausages, still in skins, plonked on a sheet of ready rolled packet pastry, which she then folded over. I was making sausage rolls (with homemade pastry and sausage meat) in primary school. That's not simple cooking - that's cheating. Not the same thing, especially when pastry is EASY to make. I might have been less infuriated if she'd taken the sausages out of the skins. Having to watch her smugly eat one afterwards with a "look how clever I am" made me shout at the tv.

Sparkly you can have Gino, but only when I have finished with him! and believe me, there won't be much left

I'll tell you who is FAR AND AWAY worse than Nigella will ever be....
HESTON FUCKING BLUMENTHAL! He makes me want to pluck out my innards with salad tongs!
He can fuck right off with his stupid giant food mealworm pizza stupid wanky nasal spray before you eat the inflight meal look at me I revolutionised Little Chef got to use a hoover to make a black forest gateau lick the wallpaper it tastes of prawn cocktail fucking smuggery!

Cunt!

Don't hold back now, Cat :o

I HATE Lorraine Pascal. Anyone would think she'd invented baking. I got given her book and the cupcake recipes were nasty.

There are worse things than Nigella when it comes to pronunciation.

There is Jamie Oliver. Nuff said.

He makes me stabby too..... But for some reason NOTHING makes me as stabby as someone saying "dust" instead of "just".

I met AWT once and he was horrid to me! Now...Valentine Warner or Paul Hollywood would be welcome in my ever so slightly grubby kitchen!

Hey Cat, that's not fair, I bagsied Gino first

Look, I'm bigger than you....
and a trained chef Gino is mine, all mine I tell you!

... visiting a friend the other day, she brought out some cake (hooray!) but warned us that the chocolate one was by Heston Blumenthal. I didn't risk it. That's me, Ms Fatty, turning down chocolate cake

Mulled - Paul Hollywood went to my ds's school a few weeks ago and did some baking with them. Ds is only 5 and didn't really know who he was!

Ok Cat, I suppose i'll have to cope with your sloppy seconds then

Annie the cake would've been made with the leftover chocolate that I didn't lick off Hestons naked chest.

Was there hair in it?

I love her! A big girl who lives her food! Allows me to delude myself hat I am not an overweight gluttonous fucker!

I prefer her to the bloody barefoot (oh I'm just putting together a 24 course meal for my Hollywood producer friend) Contessa .

last time i watched that she was making a light lunch she had at least 10 foot of table set

I love Ina. She's always sneaking into the houses of the gay pals and cooking for them! I love Jeff too. We suspect she's trying to kill himm off with a heart attack though (just add a stick of butter, some lard and a bottle of gin).

Paul Hollywood can knead my buns any time

Paul Hollywood can knead my buns any time

he has a certain something about him