I know that I ABU but.....

[Runnerlegs]

me and DH have had a really tough year with very emotional difficulties. Have 2 young ds's, oldest never sleeps and now DH on anti depressents. This Christmastime we have been plagued by illness etc.
Both my DP's (live seperately, remarried) usually offer to babysit NYE so we can have a break. Last year DH was in hospital so there was no need.

This year, DM has decided to 'go out' as 'she knows i dont like NYE' (news to me) and DF said he is 'tired' and so will be doing what " I should be doing and having a quiet one".

I feel like crying. I know it is only one night but the only thing that has kept me and DH going is the thought of one night alone with a good nights sleep!

Slap me for being selfish....

Nope, not going to do it. No slap.

You're not being selfish at all. But you also need to try to sort out childcare that doesn't revolve around your family. Perhaps a friend who has the same age children and you can swap nights?

Could she have them another night instead?

What help are you getting with the sleep issues? Have you been referred to a sleep clinic?

We have tried everything re the sleep issues and have been told that "he just doesnt need much sleep". I should be counting my blessings really, I have 2 healthy (albeit insomniac) DS and other than a few emotional issues, no other bad/serious health problems.

I think it has hit me because DM said a week ago (when I broke down in desperation) that she would have them overnight for us. She is limited to when she can have them. DF wold but DSM is 'allergic' to my kids and so has put her foot down to overnight stays.

I know this is totally unreasonable but other couples seem to manage time out. No friends who I can ask... oh well. Looks like I might have to transform the lounge into a nightclub and get the kids to stay up and party. The we can all be knackered in the morning

I feel for you, my ds is a nightmare, dd was nothing compared to this and I know what it's like to have a nights peace ripped away from you. No advice but I do understand.

Your DSM is "allergic" to your dc so refuses to have them overnight?
I suppose if your elder ds hardly sleeps at night, I'm not surprised, though.
Your DM sounds lovely.
Your last suggestion could be great, as both dcs and you will get a good night sleep afterwards , as you'll all be exhausted .
Good luck

Tby it doesn't need to be Nye.ask her when she can. Tbh I wouldn't expect anyone to have my kids every year on Nye. I know they have offered, but this year you expected it.

Just arrange another night.