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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this joke aimed at me not funny?

25 replies

Applefallsfarfromthetree · 31/12/2012 00:55

Out tonight with a group of 4 friends, 2 of their boyfriends were with us too.

We were saying what our new years solutions were and then it got on to giving things up for lent.

When one of them says " Apple's giving up sex" - to which they all laughed.

Background story, I broke up with my partner 8 months ago, I have accepted it and moved on but there were times I found it hard to get out of bed and I was depressed for months.

I have not slept with anyone else since. Mainly because I didn't feel ready and then I'm not into one night stands.

My friend knows how hurt I've been and whilst I know she's only joking and I wouldn't fall out with her over this, I still felt humiliated all the same.

OP posts:
blahblahblahyah · 31/12/2012 00:58

It was just a joke. Maybe your friend thought you are ready to look back and laugh about the worst bits of the year.

Hope 2013 is better for you.

tethersjinglebellend · 31/12/2012 00:59

Tell her you'll make an exception and Fuck her.

What a cow.

Darkesteyes · 31/12/2012 01:01

I agree with you OP. It was a nasty insensitive thing to say. Does this person have madonna/whore complex or something.

SoleSource · 31/12/2012 01:02

Hmmm I would be a bit Hmm about it too. Perhaps she isn't to be so trusted with very personal info?

Original poster
Applefallsfarfromthetree · 31/12/2012 01:03

I think it hurt more that it was said in front of my friends boyfriends as well because whilst I like them both they aren't close friends in who I would confide personal details to.

And it was the fact that she knows how upset I've been that made it hurt that little bit more.

OP posts:
Imabadmum · 31/12/2012 01:04

Ditto solesource

Insensitive at best, bitchy at worst.

Darkesteyes · 31/12/2012 01:06

Ah so she humiliated you on purpose. Perhaps shes jealous of your freedom. I think your New Years resolution should be to drop this female mysogynist from your life. And im calling her that because i bet she wouldnt have said it if you were a bloke.

Original poster
Applefallsfarfromthetree · 31/12/2012 01:10

I'm also not judging her but I know that she has only slept with two people and one is her boyfriend of the last seven years.

And she said herself she would never have a one night stand. So I feel if her relationship broke down then she would be in the same situation I'm in.

OP posts:
blahblahblahyah · 31/12/2012 01:23

You can read into it what you like but I would read it as, 'Op is giving up sex - after the shit year she's had, who can blame her!'

Again, it was just a (bad) joke.

Booyhoo · 31/12/2012 01:47

i dont get the joke though. surely "apple's giving up celibacy" would have been a joke because you have been celibate for 8 months (although still insensitive) but why would she say you are giving up sex when she knows you haven't been having any? Confused

sundaywriter · 31/12/2012 01:50

irony, booy?

Booyhoo · 31/12/2012 01:54

it's just not working for me. maybe because it really was so insensitive and OP clearly wasn't joining in with the joke.

EllenParsons · 31/12/2012 02:45

Yanbu, they were rude and mean. Hope you find love in 2013 if that's what you want!

KittyFane1 · 31/12/2012 08:57

Your friend has a rubbish sense of humour. You should tell her.
"The joke you tried to make about me giving up sex, It wasn't funny, just rude".

DecAndAnt · 31/12/2012 09:19

You need to chill, it was a joke.

YuleBritannia · 31/12/2012 09:23

It might have been a joke if there had been just the two of them but in front of several people? Hmmm.

TheMonster · 31/12/2012 09:26

I hate it when people do that. It's not funny and they do it to make themselves feel better.
I have found the best way to deal with it is to say something to the friend on their own. Laughing along only gives them carte blanche to think it is ok and do it again.

TheFallenNinja · 31/12/2012 09:29

Really. Do not give it another thought. People are full of cheap shots and throw away comments.

I'll bet nobody else has given it a second thought, why would you.

Get yours when your ready

peaceandlovebunny · 31/12/2012 09:39

how unpleasant.

but don't let it get you down. better to be known to be particular than to be known to be freely available.

Binfullofgibletsonthe26th · 31/12/2012 09:40

Hindsight is always a bitch!

A useful retort would have been, "yeah, and you're giving up comedy"

Let it pass now as the moment is gone.

But next time she asks you anything personal or intimate just say, "nah, your ok, I can't really face you bringing up my personal life infront of a crowd again, I'd rather not go into it"

Kinnane · 31/12/2012 09:47

Just a foolish remark!

---

Apple, I hope that you will be much happier in 2013.

mincepiethighs · 31/12/2012 09:47

Poor you.

Friend did something very similar to me. I felt like such a fool.

I would either ditch her or be very sparing with what you confide.

Rhubarbgarden · 31/12/2012 10:11

I wasn't there so I don't really know, but it sounds to me like a bad joke. I'm the sort of person who tries to cheer people up with humour and I've sometimes got it wrong too. I'd be guided by her usual personality - is she usually supportive or does she have a tendency to be nasty? I think therein lies your answer.

shotofexpresso · 31/12/2012 10:14

8 months is a horrendous amount of time after a serious break up tbh it would be worse if you had jumped back on the wagon really quickly and behaved like a dog in heat.

I don't really get the joke if I'm honest ,

shotofexpresso · 31/12/2012 10:16

I meant isnt a horrendous amount of time.

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