I agree, kung. You put it very well. I saw one young man die very traumatically about 14 years ago in a rock climbing accident, but other than that, only people I knew who died in other accidents outside my presence and then my daughter, who died in ICU of pneumonia following treatment for cancer.
Her death was handled as well as could be. Drugs and treatment were not witheld until meeting with my child's consultant, the consultant intensivist she called in following my request and us, and us her parents.
But her death was a foregone conclusion. Hours after my child developed a massive pneumothorax, her room in ICU became a different place. My husband, her father, and I went outside to discuss. Thankfully, there was time for this.
The consultant said, 'Tonight is about her and you all.' Everyone we wanted in the room were there, a couple who'd lost their only son to DIPG several months before, a woman who'd lost her only child to stillbirth, my parents, the consultant professor who lives for the children she treats. The consultant asked, 'Do you want me to call X?' (her consultant's name). Absolutely! It was an honour. My child was treated until the minute before that vent was pulled.
I know from others, LCP is not a means to snuff out people who might recover fully.
You get press, people say, 'Oh, Nana lived,' but it's not a complete recovery. We're not talking about people who are completely cured and live for decades longer.
It pains me, to read such bad press.
I feel it does a grave disservice, to so many who work so hard for others, who want them to die with whatever dignity there can be, free of pain and agitation.
And though there may be some bad apples, I think most providing care are sound people, doing a job most wouldn't want, for many can't abide even the thought of death, what a shame, because it is a certainty for all.
And just this evening I spoke with my mother, age 72, at length about how she wishes her death and the little details after her death to be handled, the particular player she wants, the particulars of food and drink at her memorial service. I am so grateful, to hear her wishes and hopefully be around to abide them, for I hope she dies before me.
Just yesterday, she booked a hall for a woman's mother who died, age 91, and listened to the lady tell her all about her mother, and how much this lunch means to her, but how she is not sad, for her mother lead a very good life and died suddenly and quickly, of heart attack in her nap and then heart failure. And it did not for once trouble me, to hear my mother say she hopes she goes the same way.
I wish it for her and my father both, for I love them and do not wish them any suffering. And I know, being both in their 70s, that it is likelier than not they will die sooner rather than later.
Death isn't cruel. It just is. It's a certainty.
And IME, there is such a thing as a better death or a 'gooder' death than others.
I feel the LCP is there to ensure some may have this.