In thinking this is very rude

[sweetkitty]

Before Christmas I had said to my brother and SIL they should come for lunch (we live an hour away and haven't seen them since we went to theirs in Oct). They said that would be great, I spoke to my brother again just before Christmas and he said he would check with SILs shifts and get back to me, I told him the days we were free (pretty much all the time) and said well you choose the day. He phoned me Christmas day, I thanked him for the DCs presents and he said they would come up Saturday and bring chorizo sausage and a cheese board (!).

My Dad took their presents away and they would have opened them late Christmas day, my brother had texted me about my Dad there but no thank you or anything about what my nephew thought of his present (he's only one).

Yesterday I texted him to ak if today was still ok, got no reply but I was out in the morning and bought them lunch, today nothing from them. I don't want to end yet another text.

It's not them not coming up that bothers me (things come up and it's an hours drive in not nice weather) its the not even phoning me to cancel. The DDs have been asking when they are coming up all day, DD1 has made a bracelet for SIL too.

Another thing is I don't speak to my mother, she was emotionally abusive to me yet my brother is her golden child and I assume my nephew is too. I am wondering if she has been meddling but then again they are both adults they should be abe to send a text at least.

[whispers] They may think I am an Oddbod because I won't partake in the gossip and sneaky asides, the reporting-back of other people's comments, the inviting one and not the other and so on and so forth. And they may well be right.
But I much prefer my form of oddbodiness to theirs. And I wear my Oddbod badge with pride.
However, I must step away, I have a jar of yellow piccalilli to finish.

I'm an oddbod/black sheep as I went to uni/moved away for a bit/don't smoke/breastfed/didn't shove risks or chocolate buttons in my babies mouths at 8 weeks old etc etc apparently I think I am better than my Mother :S

Sweetkitty, I think we have much the same situation. It's all in their imagination, I'm as common as muck as we always were but perhaps in different ways to them.
I CANNOT change their behaviour. And I really CANNOT do shouting matches, banging down of telephones, ignoring people for months anymore. I am in my forties fgs. I can only opt out of the cycle gracefully. I could phone any of them now and have a little conversation about how they were or the weather. As soon as it goes any further or gets any more personal, I disengage. I know whatever I say will be passed on with little brass bells attached, designed to create controversy. So I choose to keep my distance.
And I'm happier and more peaceful because of it. I certainly sleep better!