To wonder if it's the done thing these days to just talk about yourself?

[Findingmyself]

Am I missing something? I thought in a conversation you were meant to listen as well as talk? Half the people I come across just talk about themselves all the time. If I say anything at all they just bring the conversation back to being about them, or don't acknowledge what's been said and just carry on.

It makes me not want to talk to anyone except a handful of people that do, thankfully, understand the art of proper conversation.

No its not the done thing.. But who are these people you speak of? I used to be good at conversation but since having 2 children and spending every waking minute with them or thinking about them I really struggle in social situations; I feel nervous, forget to ask questions and feel pretty uncomfortable. Perhaps the people you speak of are in a similar situation, that something has changed in their list of priorities?

It's people in general, NiceCupOfTea.

To give you an example, just before Xmas I went on a childminding workshop with the view to becoming a childminder. We were sat in pairs and I was with a woman who talked constantly, about herself. Literally where I couldn't get a word in edgeways. A couple of times I tried to say something and she just said "Yeah. And as I was saying..." and carried on talking. I felt drained after the workshop (It was 2.5 hours)

A friend popped up on Facebook chat last night, and the conversation went something like this. Me: "Hello, you are you, how was your Christmas?" Her: "It was lovely, the kids had lots of presents and I got X and Y present, and we went to such and such, and we're having a new year's even party, and we've booked a holiday" And on and on and on. I made a couple of attempts to talk a little about myself and my children but she didn't acknowledge what I said and in the end I made my excuses and went off line.

Think it's some people not all, have 'friend' like this, just realised she only talks about herself, her kids, her job no interest in other people. . Am drifting away! !!

I wish I met more people like this! I seem to constantly encounter people who think it's polite to keep asking questions about me - to the point where I feel like I am at a job interview & I find answering one question after another bloody exhausting. People who are happy to witter away about themselves are actually a pleasant change as it is quite relaxing to listen to them

My friend has a friend this. She isn't my friend, she's an arsehole, but I have the misfortune of being in her company now and again. She has this incredible knack of turning every topic of conversation around to her and her dramas. It's tiring and boring. I have no idea what my friend sees in her.

Some people are just like this.

That said, I have a suspicion that social media has a distorting effect on communication, making it more about broadcast than exchange.

Some people aren't aware they are doing it . I let all my friends who get to my inner circle of safety know that they should interrupt me if I am doing it and point it out.

Surely either you are friends enough to do this, or not such good friends that you have to endure it and can just say so and walk away. Or is that just my black and white thinking?

Anyway, enough about you OP, what about me?

Not the done thing, just there are more of them Great long streams of stuff without a break. If you try to break into the conversation to add anything but agreement (advice, similar stories) they're brushed aside.

I don't think it's the norm, just there are more people who don't seem to think there's anything wrong with it. (I hope I don't become one, how would I know??)

Cheeky

I have a SIL and a friend who are like this. I lose the will to live after a few hours in their company. I am not over chatty myself but it is nice to have some opportunity to contribute to the conversation occasionally. I have calculated on phone calls to my friend (that normally last an hour minimum) I speak for less that 95% of the time.

I think SomethingOnce's theory is very good btw.

fox, it's a stream of conciousness thing with my friend. Maybe it's a form of Tourettes?

It's not the 'done thing' but it is often done. Drives me bonkers. Recently met a long-lost cousin and she went on and on and on, and every time I tried to speak she interrupted me (usually with a story that outdid whatever I was saying).

I ended up pulling out my mobile and texting DH, who was sitting next to me, saying I was losing the will to live. She was so busy talking she didn't even notice.

Pam, I used to have a 95% 'friend'. She was the same in person as over the phone and it was so draining. For a few reasons she became an ex-friend.

SomethingOnce, mine is a once a year friend these days. My ears are still bleeding from the last visit a few days ago.

Ah, well, at least you've done your duty and you can avoid for the next twelve months [smile}

I have a friend who, whatever the topic, will interject with 'well of course I ...' which means monstrous monologue coming. I often sit wondering why it's 'of course' (while still paying some attention).

I have a friend who does this. In a group a few weeks ago we were all talking about some current affairs thing / news item that was the topic of the day. There were about 6 of us in the group. In the middle of the conversation she literally changed the subject so that she was talking about what she had done with her hen house that day .

There was a moment's slightly embarrassed pause in the conversation while everyone re calibrated then we picked up the original topic again. It was very awkward and she does it all the time.

My sil is like this I've known her 10 yrs and used to see her every few days, but I would say she wouldn't know 3 things about me, I would safely say she doesnt even know what I do for a living. She just wittles on constantly about how she's going to re decorate a room or loose weight or what her kids are doing, anytime I try to add something she talks over the top of me. Needless to say i now see her a lot less. It's bloody annoying op I feel your pain!

Years ago I had a friend like this. I met her in the pub once and timed how long it took her to ask anything at all about me. It took her 23 minutes (and it was "how are you?") ...

I don't see her any more. I'm not sure she's noticed

one of my very best friends was like this for the entire three years we went to college together. we left and we hardly ever speak anymore it was very draining. shes perfect if i just want to forget the world for a bit but useless if i need a friendly ear

Some people are just like that. You seem to be meeting a lot of though which is unfortunate!

God, my MIL is a prime offender. DH and all the in laws just talk over her but I find that so rude. Sometimes I can handle it and manage to interject sufficiently to disrupt the flow but give her a glass of wine and it's monologue central about stuff I've heard a million times. It makes me want to weep sometimes - I find it soooo draining to listen to.

This is such a boring trait in a friend, though I think we all do it, it's part of human nature to agree with something by relating it to an experience you've had yourself, like here we're all saying "oh yes I had a friend like this, she did this and that, etc etc". But it gets to an extreme with some people when they seem like they don't even notice you, they just use you as a sounding board. I was once asked whether it was weird that this girl's boyfriend 'enjoyed' a certain thing a little too much, ahem, while my Dad was in intensive care following a risky op - she'd never asked how I was so I didn't have chance to tell her before she launched into the monologue. We're not close any more.