Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To have cleared the credit card off?

68 replies

fber · 28/12/2012 23:22

I was on online banking, dh has several accounts and I keep an eye on the business account and the house account. Last night I noticed that the credit card was looking quite maxed out (2k) and had had some late payments and was incuring about £25+ in interest the occasional £12 handling fee.

I saw that one of the other accounts was over 2k and so I swapped the money and cleared the card. Told DH. He went mental.

He said that that was his money he was saving (we are usually very casual, share everything etc)

He said what I'd done was out of order and he demanded an apology, I refused, saying that what I did was just common sense.

He says that he doesn't have 2k now, he'd been saving it. aibu?

OP posts:

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 29/12/2012 00:45

I would think that if it had been for 'tax' or something he would have said when he chucked his toys out of his cot. He's deluded if he thinks he's 'saving' when he has credit card debt! I'd suggest the OP needs to keep a closer eye on the finances!

Casmama · 29/12/2012 00:47

"Paying off debts comes before saving any day of the week"

Agreed

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 29/12/2012 00:53

Best thing I ever did was pay off my credit card.
I got left some money after the death of my sister, and I was struggling.
I chose to pay of the card, the relief was amazing.
Excellent decision Op, if he want's to mount it up again, leave him responsible for the debts.

BadLad · 29/12/2012 00:53

You're totally in the right with your money management unless there is something he hasn't told you.

But if you don't have joint finances (and your first post is a bit unclear, as you say you are casual and share everything, but then say that HE has several accounts), I think it would have been courteous to point the problem out to him rather than do it yourself. That is, unless you usually move money around the accounts.

BadLad · 29/12/2012 00:54

Posted too soon.

And then had a frank talk about finances and money management if he didn't want to transfer it without a good reason.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 29/12/2012 01:03

I think you did the right thing but agree you should have discussed it with DH first.

yohohoho · 29/12/2012 07:00

not.good.enough.

as usual you don't have enough enough to actually KNOW that. But as usual it doesn't matter.

I actually believe she did the correct thing. But in a partnership, empting a savings account is worth a quick discussion.

RedHelenB · 29/12/2012 07:54

YABU if they were his accounts to do it without asking him. He may have needed access to money to pay somebody or buy stock.

MrsBW · 29/12/2012 09:26

It is not always the case that you should pay off debt before saving. You could have cash in an ISA earning interest and some debt on a 0% credit card. Lots of people have mortgages but still save.

The OP was not being unreasonable in wanting to clear the debt if they were incurring that much interest/late payment charges.

But if she emptied his account to clear it (even if she did have access to his accounts) without discussion, she was D being U and it surprises me that people would say otherwise. Imagine the sexes reversed and a man had unilaterally made a choice about his DW's finances and done the same.

There would be many on here saying LTB.

sarahtigh · 29/12/2012 09:38

if it was for a tax bill it will be due on 31st Jan. not much time to save 2K and you can not pay tax with a credit card which means they would have to get a loan, in this case OP is YABVU, also as someone else pointed out he may have needed to pay someone or get things for business for which he can not use credit card

in this case paying off credit card without discussion would leave them worse off, if it was for boiler/ car etc, well now they will be able to pay that with credit card

OP you need to get back and say what he is saving money for because it does make a difference as to whether YABU, either way you should have mentioned it first

Original poster

fber · 29/12/2012 09:42

Sorry I disappeared, was busy arguing about it last night. Thanks for all your replies. I have apologised but I have to say, I don't know why. Just to keep the peace I suppose. It's my lack of apology once id realised he was upset that he as beef about. Ffs....

OP posts:

ChablisLover · 29/12/2012 09:55

Apparently you cn pay tax by credit card now

One of my clients asked this and Hmrc website clearly states credit cards are now accepted

Weird I know

Yanbu for paying it off but you should have discussed it first

Maybe it was for liquidity or a tax bill

If it was his own savings account, not a joint one, then I feel you have overstepped the mark and you should have sat down first before transferring money willy hilly which in effect if it was his own savings account wasn't your money to touch.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 29/12/2012 10:50

You have apologised but you don't mean it and you have been forced into it to keep the peace.

Are there more problems in your relationship than you have detailed here ?

RedToothbrush · 29/12/2012 11:23

Financially its theoretically the best idea. You can not possibly make as much money in interest through savings than you can through paying off the credit card. You will have more money to save in the first place through playing off the credit card.

The only problem is, if you are saving for something that requires a deposit (like a car or equipment which you are taking a loan out on the balance or mortgage deposit for example) you now can't do that as easily. I know there are certain situations where you also need to prove you have X amount of cash too (applying for a visa abroad may be one - which is unlikely in this particular case though)

You can pay for most things via credit card now, and usually that gives you more financial protection too, in the form of additional rights but there are a number of situations where 'cash is king' still holds true.

So you should discuss it first as there are potential reasons where saving is necessary over paying off debt as a priority.

MrsLyman · 29/12/2012 12:28

Erm you owe him an apology for not discussing it with him first. Or do you always think you're right?

jessjessjess · 29/12/2012 13:58

You are both unreasonable. He has reacted in an unreasonable way but you should have talked to him first.

allgoingtoshitnow · 29/12/2012 15:11

It was his account so his decision to make. Thats why you should feel apologetic.

YABU and I'd be moving to the separate accounts/family account model if I were him, as you cant be trusted.

Sparklingbrook · 29/12/2012 15:17

I think YANBU for wanting to do it, and it makes sense re the charges. But it should have been a joint decision. It's done now though so you need to move forward somehow.

Flip

1 2 3