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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know its stupid to be bothered by this but its bugging me and makes me feel sad. AIBU?

31 replies

CrazyChristmasLady · 28/12/2012 22:53

Had Christmas day at my nans as usual, Various family all attend throughout the day. From 4 years ago there was the first great grandchild (DS) then various ones since then.

My cousins DS is a year younger than mine and is 'golden boy who can do no wrong' in his dads eyes, my aunts (his nan) and his uncles. I actually see potential problems with behaviour etc but would never say anything as I know excuses would be made so I'll just leave them to it.

My DS is the oldest out of the great grandchildren and knows it as he is interested in numbers and is always talking about peoples ages and who is older/younger etc. He can also be bossy. I know this, its not the crime of the century, I was the same when I was younger and still am.

He was being a bit bossy to my cousins DS on Christmas day, nothing over the top at all (I am not just making excuses, he really wasn't bad at all) and I did remind him that he is not in charge, he was generally just playing with everyone and enjoying the day.

I walked into the kitchen at one point to catch my 3 male cousins all stood around talking about my DS and how he is "bossing X around all the time" this was the only bit I heard and they soon shut up when they saw me. I didn't bother to say anything as I didn't want to create an atmosphere but it bugged me to hear them talking like that behind a 4 year old childs back.

God this sounds so stupid and pathetic, it really does. But when I look at my DS and his happy little face, I feel awful that I know they talk about him, I know this won't have been the only thing said. My aunt gets very annoyed that my DS gets looked after by my nan (she brought me up and is essentially like my mum, no one else looks after my children so my nan is the only one who helps out and my aunt knows this, whereas my cousins DS has loads of people looking after him and paying for this that and the other). My aunt was also annoyed that another aunt bought a little something for my 2 DCs and not just HER DGS.

Yes this is all very pathetic but it pisses me off that they are behaving like this towards a small child. I was glad that DS was happy to have someone to play with and he was excited about seeing his second cousin? (not sure how the distant cousins thing works) but I know that this is how its going to be when we meet up. I also overheard my cousin telling off (not in a really nasty way) my DS for shouting in his DS' face when actually it was the other way around.

OP posts:
WorraLorraTurkey · 28/12/2012 23:35

Oh god I haven't heard 'aerated' for years! Xmas Grin

That's going to be my new favourite word and I'm going to try to work it into at least 5 conversations tomorrow!

upstart68 · 28/12/2012 23:37

OK. With the benefit of hindsight - just let it go. They all do things people comment unfavourably on from time to time. It says more about the adults than the dc. In time, yours will get on with them all just fine. It's irritating, but it's not worth making an issue of. Nine times out of ten, they stop bossing others around by about the age of 6. And they stop snatching too. Then they just all run off and play hide and seek or something and have a great time. Dc just get over it and get on with it.

Don't fall into the trap of interfering or trying to analyse it. And it's not worth taking issue with it with other adults and potentially falling out - it really isn't. Xmas is all about spending a limited amount of time with relatives you have nothing in common with. But for dc - it's memories - of playing with cousins, tearing around, there being lots of people there. Just my view. Completely understand you being p off. But not worth your energy taking issue I'd say. Play the long game. In time they'll see what a fantastic dc you have.

Salmotrutta · 28/12/2012 23:43

I don't think I'm your nan op! Grin

But I love "aerated" and use it sporadically.

Apologies shenanigans - I see that crazy did post about her nan bringing her up in the op.

Blame my advancing years - I'm a granny too ...

CrazyChristmasLady · 28/12/2012 23:53

See, you could be her then. Grin

I can't see her on the net though. Sending an email is a bit of a struggle for her.

Thanks upstart you are right of course.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 28/12/2012 23:56

Ah but my grandchildren are little toddlery types ...

Bless their cotton socks.

TurkeyDino · 29/12/2012 00:05

I'll send my DS over next Christmas, then they'll really have something to talk about. He even refers to himself as a bossy boots.

YAB a teensy bit U. But it's Christmas, emotions run high and families fall out. You'll all have forgotten about it by Easter.

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