Am I just an ungrateful cow?

[TheDarlingBuds]

I can't afford to live any longer in London, so have moved to the country to stay with my cousins for a while. Don't get me wrong; they are very kind and hospitable. But, to put it starkly, I'm finding it hard to adjust. For example, breakfast every morning consists of porridge - and I find that makes me heave.

What can I do to make things more comfortable?

Please be gentle; this is my first post.

lol

Buy some cereal?

Maybe you could amuse yourself by giving people makeovers and practicing your life-coaching skills?

You know you could always buy food and share with the rest of the family.

Buy some bacon?

Do you live with three bears?

Fuck them - kill them all

Are they trying to right a great wrong, done to your father, by providing a roof over your head, Robert Poste's child?

Sounds like you need a good seeing to!! Lol

Sugar Puffs?

Fuck them - kill them all

^^

Yes, this

I know it's cold comfort, but porridge really is very good for you!

My advice - stay away from the woodshed

I was expecting worra to post....

LTB

(Leave The Breakfast)

Here you go;

www.tesco.com/

Sorted.

Why dont you use some higher common sense to solve this problem ?

Mrs. Smiling: Of course you may stay here as long as you like. But I expect you should want to find some work to earn enough for a flat of your own.
Flora Poste: Work! What kind of work?
Mrs. Smiling: Oh, it's been ages since I've done any, but there must be something that would do... bookkeeping... beekeeping...

You could be really adventurous and sort your own breakfast out.

Unless of course you have a baby bed and a baby chair.

Loving the Cold Comfort references!

Now a friend of the family has turned up and he is bugging the hell out of me. What to do?

We can walk about the farm a bit, but apparently the toolshed potting shed outbuildings are out of bounds.

Buy your own food, I'm betting they would be delighted if you did, save them some money and show you are not free loading.

I wish my cousins were so easy on the eye.

You wouldn't believe the low standards of hygiene here!

Even <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.towsure.com/images/products/4574/detail/washing-up-dolly-mop.jpg&imgrefurl=www.towsure.com/stocklevels/Washing_Up_Dolly_Mop&h=650&w=650&sz=25&tbnid=PiMJcDzPd8V9WM:&tbnh=99&tbnw=99&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dwashing%2Bup%2Bmop%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=washing+up+mop&usg=__NHRn5ukqFmUthHAJs0nfisUabf8=&docid=X32IcmaeaK7YPM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=ZhzeUNjOOqWV0QWysYD4Ag&ved=0CIQBEPUBMAc&dur=2746" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">washing up is a bit of a trial.

Fortunately, I am a smug cow practical person.

but apparently the toolshed potting shed outbuildings are out of bounds
something nasty in the woodshed???

lol flora this is getting better and better - why not buy a little mop instead of the bundle of twigs?