ProvIng someone wrong is the best feeling ever- your smug stories to make us feel all good inside

[Wishfulmakeupping]

I'll go first - this popped into my head earlier not thought about it in years anyway....
Found out my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me with an older woman (I was 18 at time she was mid 30's) on rubbing salt into my wounds he declared she had a proper career and was going places and that the best I could hope for was being promoted to chief washer upper- he told me I'd never make anything of my life or be happy.
Fast forward 10 years and Ive put myself through college, graduated uni- got a good job been promoted 3 times and most importantly met the man of my dreams and am getting married/starting a family.
Like I said not thought about what he said in years but am feeling nice and smug about it now :)

Living well is indeed the best revenge!

I was living with a twat of an ex (stuck there for a while until I could move) and was applying for jobs. I left some job info lying around in the kitchen, twatface saw it and assumed it was for our housemate. Nope, it was mine. I was told I'd never get a job on that salary and they never hire women for those sort of roles.

Guess who beat 300 other applicants and got the job? Mwahahahahaha.

As a 'larger' girl, I am used to getting a bit of abuse from twats strangers...
Was walking through the local mall one afternoon when a snotty teenage girl pointed me out to her friends and said loudly 'if I looked like that, I would never leave the house' with a sneer.

However I was all post shag blissful feeling loved up having spent the morning with a new boyfriend - so I just smiled smugly at her and sashayed away. Left her proper confused and all!

Mine is quite minor but happened today: ordering new washer in currys as ours had broken I had to take dc to toilets, but when I came back DH said he could only get delivery for 2 weeks time. They told him it would cost 25 quid for quicker delivery. I said I thought I could sort something if I called the call centre when we got home and he insisted I definitely wouldn't be able to.

Washer coming before lunch tomorrow. For free. Dh had to make me a cup of tea :o

Buggering mother who always puts me down and assumes I'm wrong or crap at stuff. Manages to do it with plausible deniability too. When I said O2 were arsing about and were now saying 28 days delivery on our new phones which had previously been guaranteed next day, she sighed and said how terrible that I wasn't like my brother who could get it sorted so easily.

A few phone calls later, got phones 36 hours later. Up yours mother.

I think I may have some issues with my mother at the moment, apologies.

Last December on dhs birthday we had a row as he wanted to go out & get pissed at a friends party.

I said you can go out but I will come you have a couple of pints max or we can go out for dinner.

I was 38 weeks pg with dc4.

Dcs 2 & 3 both ten days early.

Dh birthday was 11 days before my due date.

Dh has tantrum about not going out on his birthday (not what I was doing at all)

Labour starts that night & ds born 10 days early

Ha take that dh

Rotten loud overbearing boss, who fancied himself as a tennis ace, despite being almost 50 and a bit portly - says to new office whippersnapper graduate trainee he notices that one of his interests is tennis.

Boss "Well how good are you? Eh? Eh? I won the Tonbridge and District grass cup last year, we can have a knock some time. Are you any good?"

New lad "I just toured with the Davis Cup Team."

Boss "Ahhh."

I'm always made to feel like DS is a handful and wild and so very badly behaved. A certain PIL has, on more than one occasion, talked about DS behind his/my back to other people and the stock phrase seems to be 'that DS ... my God ... '. They think he's a "tornado". BIL once said, to our faces, as we walked into MILs house 'here comes DS, quick! Hide the toys!' and at DN's birthday party MIL told me in a reassuring voice 'don't worry, I've already warned everyone what he's like.

Why the fuck do you need to warn people!?

And he's not bad, he's not. Yes, he drives me batty at times and there are days where I wonder if he was swapped at flipping birth but he's three, he's supposed to be a little bit exasperating sometimes. Mostly he's cheeky and loving and he has this grin, this wonderful grin that says we're going to have some fun Mammy. I love him so much that I could waffle on and on about it like a big goof :)

He is very energetic but he's much calmer than he used to be, he's mellowing with age, and I'm accustomed to his ways so his energy doesn't phase me. It's just him.

DN, same age, is the golden child. Much loved and it's clear he is the favoured grandchild. It's sad and we've had lots of arguments about it, I've also made it clear that they need to sort it out because the day DS asks me why he's second-best is the day I cut off all contact. I'm told how very good DN is, how DN never jumps around/climbs anything/answers back/disobeys/eats a pound coin, how very advanced DN is compared to DS, how DN has been here before and blah blah blah.

Basically DS is the also-ran and I'm a rubbish mother with no discipline, authority or control over my children.

I got my super smug moment twice.

DS potty trained months and months before DN did. I know it's not a contest but I was told DS couldn't possibly be ready for it simply because DN was not trained yet, as if I had to wait until he was. DS had his fair share of accidents to begin with but we were visiting with them, it was only DS's second day of no nappy and he stayed dry all day. He asked me for the toilet each time he needed it and he made it each time. It was like he knew I needed that silent fist pump 'yessssssss' moment :o

Then the second smug moment. A few weeks ago DN came to visit and when it was time to leave he lay on the floor, refusing to put his coat on. Then he wouldn't put his shoes on. Then he went selectively deaf in that way only a three year old can and completely blanked MIL. He let me put his coat and shoes on for him, asking me over and over if he could stay at my house a little longer. Then he went boneless and refused to go out the door. Any attempts to pick him up resulted in a jellyfish like flop to the floor. I was the only one he would listen to and he went out the door when I asked him. Then instead of getting into his carseat he proceeded to run circles around the car with MIL and her DP chasing him and imploring him to 'get in this car right now!'

DS, bless him, was the model of perfect behaviour and stood there like butter wouldn't melt looking aghast at this shocking display of naughtiness. I, on the other hand, was at that point leaning against the back of the front door with my fists stuffed in my mouth to suppress the hysterical giggles trying to escape.

I love DN and DS for that one :)

Oh BearFrills that is brilliant!

Mine is not as brilliant but it is a bit odd -

I finally managed to win the 'Owls don't poo' argument.
DH was adamant to the exclusion of all sense that Owls don't poo because they just bring up pellets instead. At first I just laughed and explained, he refused to believe me, I explained territorial behaviours and that Owl poo can corrode car paintwork even metal, he refused point blank to believe me - it got quite heated.
It was raised again several times and just ended up in the most random and insane bickering I've ever indulged in (which can be a feature with us - we don't disagree about parenting, money or work etc but will go to pistols at dawn over the proper classification of a Jaffa Cake - which I also won by digging out the court ruling) after getting over the sheer pig headed buffoonery of it I was on the net and discovered the winning article - I won, I had to sit through a close up video of an owl taking a shit but I proved him wrong.
I was triumphant and it was glorious and wonderful and only slightly damped when he walked in and found me trying to use the tin opener upside down.

I also enjoyed the times when I went into a shop and found that the person serving me was the same scrote that bullied me relentlessly and whose mother defended her special snowflake and said he was destined for the highest of the high and I was a pathetic under achiever (I wasn't, he used to nick my work) he was a massive bawbag. It gave me a very special fuzzy feeling when he had to face me instead of cowarding away - and be nice to me in front of his boss. I didn't act like a douchebag though...I just nursed the feeling quietly to myself and enjoyed it. He is still a grade A pisshole so I don't feel too bad about it. I would still like to have a little chat with his mum though...

When I left my abusive first husband I ended up living with my 'D'M for a while.

After a few years of him putting me down and calling me stupid, I decided to take a Mensa test, just to prove to myself that I wasn't.

I told my 'D'M and she said 'Why, aren't they for clever people?'

I duly did the test and got the result which brings me in to the 'Moderately gifted' category.

More recently, I am doing an Access to Nursing Course and my 'D'M has said 'Why are you bothering at your age?' Well Dear Mother, I am bothering because I am 45, not 65 and will have a good few years of work ahead of me in my chosen career, even if I don't qualify until I am nearly 49! I have yet to prove that one, but I will!!!

When I was 17, and doing my a levels I was reading the job section of the Times or Guardian in the kitchen.

I said to my mum, "oh wow, that's my dream job, a buyer in clothing (hardly X factor ott dream was it!).

My mum completely turned on me, calling me a big head, screaming that I'd never amount to anything, who did I think I was etc. She was always a bit bitter about getting knocked up at 16 by my dad, having my brother and later me, and it ruining her fabulous career prospects.

After 2 years in Uni, I basically had enough of her and we haven't spoken since I was 21. I just couldn't keep putting myself through the cycle over and over again.

I am not a buyer these days, I manage a team of buyers in my job. I worked damned hard to get here mind,but that kitchen conversation always spurred me on during the hard times.

My aunty told me last week, that my mum has been asking her questions about my salary, my house size and what my life is like in Switzerland. She's not bothered for 20 years, but now I'm doing ok she wants in???

I can't imagine smashing/belittling my son's dreams the way she did to me. Having kids puts your crap upbringing into perspective, doesn't it?

Don't wait in for the invite mother!

I did Christmas dinner this year all by myself with no assistance (except potato peeling) with no oven! Smuggy McSmuggerson here! Pleased to meet you!

Our washing machine is in a tricky bit of a very small kitchen, you have to feed the water pipes round a corner and through a hole in the side of a cupboard to reach the plumbing.

We ordered a new machine from Currys (or maybe Comet...) and paid for A Man to come and install it. After less than 5 minutes of huffing and puffing he announces it's impossible to fit it in this space, we'll have to move units around and put it somewhere else. I tell him that's rubbish as the old machine was there for ages, and if he'd just let me show him how to feed the pipes... he cuts me off with "I've been fitting washing machines for 10 years, if I can't do it, it can't be done"

I grit my teeth, tell him I'll do it myself but I want the installation fee refunded. He laughed, gave me a very patronising smile and replied "love, if you manage to install the damn thing, I'll refund the fee from my pocket."

It took me 10 minutes to hook it up, I rang the helpline and told them to let him know. We got the fee back, though I very much doubt it came from his pocket as he promised.

Some great stories here - My FIL has always found it hilarious to poke fun at my weight/appetite even though I wasn't exactly enormous at a size 14/16. One day he went too far and really upset me despite DH asking him to stop.

I was and always have been sensitive about my weight but that day omething snapped and I thought right, I will show them all.

The next day I downloaded a couch potato to 5k running plan as I knew I wouldn't be able to stick to a strict diet plan and during that first run I could barely run for the required minute but persevered and followed the plan..9 months later I ran a half marathon!

I look back and still can't believe I did it - it was probably a once in a lifetime event for me as I am definitely not a natural runner, but I did it, and lost a stone in the process. Funnily enough FIL hasn't made comment since!

Well done crunchy- I have my first half mara in may .. Gulp

Before applying for my masters (in something creative where talent is more important than prior study) I spoke to the course leader who told me the course was "not for amateurs". I almost didn't apply, but really wanted to do it and didn't need to take any of his modules.

I doubt he even remembers this conversation. But I did get a kick out of discussing the possibility of going back to give a talk about my career as one of their most successful graduates.

Also a girl at school used to torment me and one of the things she did was constantly asking: "Do you think you're popular?" and forcing me to admit that, no, I really wasn't.

Turns out she used to work with DH, who is gorgeous. One day she walked into a friend's pub, said hi to DH (then boyfriend) and was introduced to his lovely new girlfriend - me. She is friends with a bunch of my friends. I have thus far resisted the urge to tell her that, yes, I do think I'm popular... but I have told them all about the things she did to me at school. (Yes I know people change. But I have the right to talk about it.)