to expect my live-in BIL to look after the house while we are away?

[slushpuppies]

So I'm fuming. We come back after spending Christmas with my parents to find the house dirty, rotting food in the bin, cat litter overflowing, mouldy bread in the cupboard AND the heating and hot water turned off even though I left them on timer.

BIL was at home. He's 25, he's lived with us for nigh on 3 years, rent free, bill free, lock stock and two smoking barrels free. He has bought fried chicken and chips for the kids once and usually forgets their birthdays.
All this I could just about put up with. What pisses me off is his attitude. He doesn't talk unless directly asked a question. He doesn't behave like part of the family, i.e no curiosity about what the kids are doing (his neice and nephews). No interest in anything we do. Plus he lies to my face!

I get the feeling my husband is tolerating the situation so as not to create an argument with his family, but I'm fed up with this.

My daughter needs her own room. She is at puberty and can't keep sharing with her brothers.
AIBU for wanting bil to shape up or ship out? Husband is not hearing me!
GRRRRRR!

My BIL has lived with us for almost 5 years, from a couple of months after we got married, and he's ok - not perfect by a long shot, but he's ok to live with most of the time. He pays rent, babysits 3/4 times of us asking and will help out if asked. Ds1(4) shares with his 2 year old brother in the box room, but under the agreement that when ds1 reaches 7 and if BIL is still with us, they get the BIL's bigger room.

There is no way in hell I would put up with your BIL OP, he takes the fucking biscuit and I'm speaking as someone who has been driven to distraction by my BIL over relatively mild things, like forgetting to take his washing out of the machine once or twice! Kick your BIL out, he is massively taking he piss!

Well, looking up Bhabi on google was an eye opener!

Why is BiL not living with his DPs if he is still a baby in the family's eyes? Good for you that you've decided to try and sort it out, good luck!