to ask for some advice?

[IneedAgoldenNickname]

I have 2 DC(8 and 6). Me and their Dad split up in May. He is now engaged and his fiancee is pregnant (not sure that that's relevant but hey ho)

DC spent boxing day and the day after with him then came home telling me he bought then loads including games for the ps 3. Now that in itself is fine, except I've only had £15 maintenance on the last 6 weeks as he claims he is skint as he is hardly working at the moment. If I'm honest, I'm cross that he has decided to have another baby, despite repeatedly telling me he didn't want anymore when we were together and when he apparently can't afford the ones he has.

Then today the DC told me Daddy has promised then a TV to have in their bedroom here for Easter, and that they have to tell me they want one so he is getting it. I don't like TVs in bedrooms, and don't see how he can dictate to me what happens in my house! Not to mention some maintenance would be a far better use of his money!

So, should I contact him now and say don't buy a TV? Leave it till nearer the time? Or say nothing

Sorry posted too soon...

Or say nothing until he actually buys the TV, which may not actually happen?

Do you think it's time to take legal advice?

Forget what he is and isnt buying. Just go to the CSA and get them to assess him. They will work from his last 4 payslips (or can do a yearly assessment if you believe he is deliberately working short hours to get a smaller assessment as my ex did), and they will take it out of his wages if needs be.

£15 for 6 weeks for 2 children?

No more playing nice, he needs to pay for the kids he has before having another.

Get him to the CSA now.

The only problem with csa is he has recently gone self employed which I believe means he can declare whatever income he wishes? And also is out true that they deduct some income a his new partner has children?

Yes they do deduct some income, which is how my ex managed to get a £0 assessment as he and his OW had 3 children in quick succession and I was told that the CSA consider them to be the priority over the older child :(

He can't tell you what you can and can't do in your own house. If he does buy them a tele how is he going to make you put it in their room?

He should be paying more maintenance, of course he should. Tell the CSA you want him assessed. They do take into account the fact about the baby, once it is born, but I would have still thought you'd get more than £2 something a week. I am sure I read even fathers on benefits are going to have to start paying £10 a week.

bloody hell Bogey!

We paid for DSS through the CSA, the rules back then were that the child who needed the maintenance got it first before the other children. Flipping heck,I know people need to support both families, but that really isn't on to leave you with nothing! What are you meant to do?

Although......that was under the old rules. I think the new rules are different, there is a set percentage per child (20% for 2 children I believe) of his income that he must pay.

It has to be worth a try, you may not be able to get much at first but once he has his first y ears books and tax payments then they can assess it from that.

www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/child-maintenance-faqs.pdf

Info about SE CSA assessments is at he bottom. Tbh I would do it if only to scare the shit out of him!

Good Q Elle

The woman on the phone was very sympathetic and said it was one of the reasons that the 1993 rules were changed and gotten rid of. She said she couldnt advise me to do it but said that if I chose to close my claim (which was fine by me as I wasnt getting anything anyway) then I could reclaim after 13 weeks and it would come under the new percentage rules. So I did, it is going through now and according to the phone updates I have had, he isnt happy, especially as they have had to contact his employer for his wages details as he refused to supply them :o

We paid under the 1993 rules and were told the child who needed the maintenance came first! I think they just made it up as they went along!

We don't pay anymore DSS is 21. The CSA are a nightmare, I think they should have been got rid of years ago TBH!

Let him buy the tv, tell him they have separate rooms so they need two.
Sell them.

Elle I have to disagree, through them I did get something for some years but when his income dropped they said that after they had taken off his housing costs and allowances for his other children he had no "assessable income" left. It was this issue that caused problems, so thats why they changed the rules.

His wife ran a very profitable business which she didnt declare so I dobbed her in as her earnings were higher than his yet werent considered as contributing to the kids or housing costs because she wasnt paying any tax!

Thanks everyone, if I speak to the csa cani choose not to user them after they make an assessment?

cheeky I like your thinking, but sadly he knows they share a room.

By Easter you could easily have changed things so that they each have a room and you sleep on the sofa.....

jux that's what my Mum said

You dont have to use them if you dont want to. I had a claim going for years and then cancelled it, so you could go through the motions, see what they say and then either go ahead or not, its up to you.

It is in your best interests to get a claim going asap though, because soon they will be charging new claimants using the service for collecting maintenance if he wont pay you direct. But if you are already using them then you will be less likely (not impossible, this is the government after all!) to be charged.

And dont tell him, but do tell them that you are concerned that he will attempt to conceal his earnings when he finds out, in case they need to check his tax records, bank accounts etc.