People who take up too much space

[Agent64]

The woman wearing the rucksack type bag in Waterstone's - bashing people and knocking things over every time she turned round. Also guilty of barging from the front as well as ambushing from the rear.

The gathering of Friends Reunited in the supermarket - five or six of them blithely blockading the aisle with their three large trolleys while they caught up with their chat.

The man claiming his right to a soon-to-be-vacated parking space by parking in the middle of the road so that no-one else could get by.

AIBU?

Students chattering and blocking the no entrance to unauthorised persons door to the research labs.

Just because you aren't allowed through doesn't mean no one is.

Shift or I might flatten you with this very heavy compressed gas cylinder, I'm pushing.

Oh, I had a tray shunter in a cafe this week. I suddenly had to stop and look at all the cakes to make sure I had chosen the best one. And then take my time filling my cup with juice. Seriously love, you won't have been able to drink your tea any quicker because there were still people in front of me

The large woman on the bus who, when she sat next to me seemed to think it impossible to have any of her massive body in the aisle and so squished me into the window. Squished to the extent that I was in a lot of pain and my shoulders were hunched forward awkwardly for the rest of my journey.

And then she had the gall to tut and huff when I asked her to stand up so I could get off.

I know people can't usually help being large, but for god's sake, at least be vaguely aware of how your bulk is affecting others.

People who are incapable of even pretending to say excuse me while barging past you in the supermarket.

People who randomly stop while walking down a busy pavement, then, just as you are huffily overtaking them, start walking again and get all arsey with you!

Men who, while sitting on the tube with their legs widely enough apart to be able to insert a thigh-master, then start absent-mindedly rearranging their testicles.

People who 'accidentally' manage to grope your boobs or bum on the tube.

Oh hell yes!

Doorways - no matter how many bloody times I ask the child/cat/visiting relative to please move out of the way (ie. into any of the other 95% of space inside our house), they always bloody insist on all standing/sitting/lying in the doorway triangle between the kitchen and the rest of the house.

YOU ARE IN THE WAY... MOOOOOOOOOVE

People who walk slowly in the middle of the road in car parks, right in front of your car as you crawl along. I am not a honker.

Oh and the DC when the doorbell goes-I get up and greet the visitor from behind the DC as they have rushed to the door for no reason.

Oh, and Dc's and DH who only ever want to speak to you about important things when you're on the phone or the loo!

I am not a honker

dd honked her horn earlier she said it sounded like a strangled budgie she wont be doing it again

People who don't understand the "one item of carry-on baggage" rule in planes (and the airlines that don't enforce it! ) and clog up my overhead bin with their crap when their seat is half way down the f*ing aisle.

dh who quite often, in his sleep, feels the need to roll over to my side and push me out of bed. we have a king size... STAY ON YOUR OWN SIDE YOU SKINNY ARSE... YOU DONT NEED THE EXTRA ROOM!!

People who swim and hold a conversation at the same time - usually middle aged women doing 3 metres an hour and having a good old chinwag at the same time while taking up two thirds of the pool so I have to swim miles round them. I am trying to have a work out people!!!

Groups of old people who absolutely must catch up with the latest gossip on who's dead, dying or in hospital in the middle of the supermarket aisle. It gives them a break from tutting about how children "never did that in my day" I suppose...

I have seen those women Pontouf. Always very slow breast stroke, and either swimming hats or no swimming hats but definitely no getting hair wet so necks at a funny angle. They then stand at the end chatting before setting off again and pity any poor child trying to swim a width.

I've had a series of bad luck at the kids' concerts recently with 'people who take up a lot of space' sitting in the Reserved row in front of me or in the chairs in the local cathedral that are wooden and fixed together. I was perched , PERCHED on the edge of my seat next to the aisle because someone had saved the seat next to me for a woman 'of wider girth'.

And don't get me started on airline seats.

Before I get a flaming, I've been a size 20 and a 12 and every size in between. We're getting fatter - so let's please build the furniture to fit.

I once watched an elderly lady berate a chap in the pool for not wearing a cap. She had a rain hat with a clothes peg holding it at the back, so she was ok. He was completely bald (like Kojak) but she was't having any of it. It went on for quite a while. His face was a picture and I'm sure he thought he was in a hidden camera show.

She later cornered me in the changing room and had a rant about Jennifer Anderston and how she wasnt beautiful ("she's jewish, you know! Can't stand that look...").

Actually, if she'd been younger, I'm sure he or I would have had a go. Hmmmmmmm.

People who think the fact they're on a horse must mean they have to ride two abreast and can't ever give way. I am aware it's legal to ride two abreast. That doesn't mean you're incapable of riding any other way!

People who don't know how big their car is and so insist on getting you to move yours much further than you need so they can peer nervously at it while they edge past with forty acres of space between you.

People who take a whole big trolley of shopping through the self scan. Then get annoyed when the machine tells them off for removing their full bags from the bagging area as it only tiny and has room for about 2 carriers thus causing a delay while a member of staff has to be found to then put in the magic codes etc

Aaaand breath

Self scan machines full stop.

We don't get much of that in Birmingham LRD thank god!! -

Very specific but the two or three families on my school run who all have 3+ children each and walk together reallllly slowly the same way as I do. If I'm behind them it means we're late, but they never care and carry on walking at their snails pace while I try to pass then with my crew. They are quite intimidating and every other word is "fuck" As I have 4 to take to school myself I'm always conscious of making sure there is room for people to pass, but this group don't give a shit. At least it spurs me on to get out the house early!

The strange people in supermarkets who stand right next to the pin machine when you are paying. Move!

Those that leave a shop and stop right outside the door.

The local Sainsburys workers who have probably been told not to smoke outside the exit, so they do it outside the shop next doors exit instead.