To want my orgasms back?

[Londonmrss]

Hiya
I had a baby 9 weeks ago. I had a long and bloody difficult labour, but she's a gorgeous baby and I came out of it fairly well with no stitches or tearing and my pelvic floor seems to still be strong. 9 weeks later we have had sex a few times and I still can't come. I can with the help of certain battery operated devices (and I have to work quite hard even with them), but certainly not during intercourse- in fact it still hurts quite a bit. Add to that the fact that I'm still a bit fat and usually leaking milk everywhere and you've got a mummy who feels deeply unsexy. Please tell me I'll get my mojo back!

9 weeks!! That's nothing. Still v early days, I'm sure you'll feel back to normal in time.

Do you actually want to have sex? You will get your mojo back but it takes a while. It works best if you're completely ready, not thinking about your milk leaking/the baby waking up/ how you would like a few hours off without having somebody touching you. And when you've healed enough for it not to hurt.

If you do want to have sex, it's just a question of time and getting used to a slightly altered body. I must say once we got back into the swing sex was even better than before for me. It did take time though.

Pelvic floor excercising & lots of it helps, can recommend kegal balls as I had the same experience as you after the birth of my 2nd 9 weeks is nothing though.

I am impressed that you feel like trying after nine weeks!!

I was still hobbling around, wincing with every step, and taking my ring shaped cushion everywhere with me. I had loads of stitches though.

Christ! Took me about 3 years to get my mojo back! I think you're doing quite well.

Didn't have my O back for months afterwards. Just didn't work. Had to really work at it, and when it worked it was bloody pointless. It does get better.

It took me 6 months to have full intercourse again.

And getting you orgasms back? I'm jealous! I've tried everything, but guess I'm in that unlucky 1% of women who can't.

So you are doing great!

Your one of a few I have heard about that has been having sex around the 9 week mark. I didn't even think about it until 3 months and I don't think it felt normal again until at least 6 months u will be fine soon. X

Personally I found my orgasms less intense and sometimes not at all whilst breastfeeding. When I finished they came back with a bang,no pun intended.

Definitely found it much harder to orgasm whilst breastfeeding which I did with both DDs until around 14 months.

It's the breastfeeding. It kills all sex.

As soon as I stopped they came back with a vengeance. It's not for very long in the scheme of things and I promise it gets better again.

Right, tell me how to wean my boob-mad toddler....... :(

I know a lot of people who feel like this in real life too. But nobody ever tells you, do they?

Either there must be no real evidence for it (and it must differ from person to person or monody would have sec while bf ever) or they are not allowed to due to bf having to be portrayed only in a positive light but just between my friends and I four of us have said they had zero sex drive and felt dry and not right or just couldn't orgasm when they were breastfeeding.

Obviously it didn't make any of us stop but it would have been nice to be warned that it could happen rather than us thinking there was something wrong with us.