Husbands immediate family are lovely however extended family always seem to want their way.
There is past history with comments made by his family eg the state of our house when i was suffering paralytic attacks. Speaking a foreign language around me makes me feel unwelcome too. However last time we were round his cousin hurt me but i do not know if i am being too sensitive. The cousin demanded go know why we were not going to spend Christmas day with them at their house like the rest of his family do. I explained as we have two young kids and my mum died last year,leaving my Dad the only family who lived locally that we'd probably just spend in Christmas in our house. More practical and I didn't want to leave recently widowed Dad on his own.
What upset me however is that she waited to demand this when my husband had popped out to give someone a lift. Also upon me reminding her we'd had a bereavement in my family she simply said but that means her son won't get to play with our kids. No apology or understanding from my family's predicament.
I didn't tell my husband what was said at the time because I just wanted to forget about it and not hurt him.
I suppose I'm extra sensitive because I often feel it's her needs over anyone else's but my husband refuses to see why past comments have hurt me.
Am I being unreasonable to not want to go tomorrow? I feel extra sensitive thinking about Mum and don't feel strong enough to be around people who put themselves first especially when I feel I can't tell my husband how hurt I am due to a cousin he loves and I may just be oversensitive.
It doesn't help she texted on Christmas eve to rub in how we weren't going,I deleted text straightaway due to being upset so can't now show that to husband. I just feel his family always get their way but we are doing Christmas our way but I am getting the brunt of their disapproval when my husbands back is turned.
They caused a lot of bother between us when our first child was born so now I rise above it and tell myself me and husband are fine so they can think what they like. But I'm afraid I'm too emotional to remain level headed about it at present.
I'm sorry this is a jumble, I'm too upset to think straight or know what to write. I hope this makes sense.
Do I tell husband I need some much needed rest and go himself with kids,which he doesn't want to do. Or do I tell him why I'm uncomfortable with not going. Or do I just go,suck it up? I just do not feel like talking,arguing about it tonight when I'm already feeling so low.
Thank you for any help,even just hand holding.