Over the years, I've always spent the vast majority of my Christmas time with my OH and ILs. That is morning, dinner, afternoon with them, then an hour or so with my parents. Christmas is a huge extended family event for them, whereas I was raised in a far more immediate family Christmas day.
For our baby's first Christmas (7mths old) I longed for being allowed to lock the door on Christmas day and just chill as a little family. However I knew that I'd have to compromise.
I suggested we have Christmas Eve afternoon and evening dinner with the ILs. Christmas day would be an (our) house open door policy from the crack of dawn until about 2, for both sets of extended families. Everybody could then go home to their respective homes, eat, tidy up then relax. Boxing day could then be spent at the ILs.
My OH and MIL really wanted presents to be opened at their house on Christmas Day. Why only their house I don't know why.
After some arguing with my OH, we agreed on ILs house for dinner and stockings on Christmas Eve. Go back to our house to wake up there on Christmas Day and have a posh family breakfast. Then to visit my parents for about two hours. Back to ours to prepare our dinner. The ILs compromised by eating around one o'clock, then after they had finished at half two, we would go to theirs for two hours. We'd then leave around half four, finish off the cooking for our dinner, eat, then some family time before DS had to go to bed.
Christmas Eve went as planned and I was happy. Christmas morning around ten, my OH asks if the ILs could pop round for only half an hour. I reluctantly agreed as I knew how happy it would make them feel. They only stayed for half an hour to give them credit but that made us late for visiting my parents.
After cutting the visit to my parents short, we prepared our dinner then headed off to the ILs. They are very kind generous people who love giving gifts, but I kid you not, there was at least 150 presents between 6 adults and a baby. After only making a small dent in the pile of presents after two and a half hours of opening them, the turkey we had left in the oven, really needed some attention. Not wanting to upset people, I volunteered to leave my OH and DS and go home and tend to it. When I got home alone, to a dark house and my baby's first Christmas, I just burst into tears.
After opening presents for another hour, my OH and DS got dropped off at our house. I got on with cooking the dinner, and by the time we finished eating it, it was time for DS to go to bed. While my OH got DS to bed I finished off all the dishes. After we both finished we decided we were both too tired and went to bed.
AIBU to be dissapointed with my OH and ILs? I feel that I've been disrespected after I'd made lots of compromises and they've just ignored what we had arranged. Am I selfish?