to not understand people that have days and days of christmas?

[2anddone]

For the past 6 years it has been just me, dh and 2dc for Christmas day and boxing day. This is mainly because I refuse to spend the day with mil as she is toxic. My parents leave the country for 3 months every winter so are away at Christmas.
I love our Christmas day dc open presents with no rush and can stop for a bit to play with new gifts if they want. Christmas dinner is served when its ready and there is no pressure to get it perfect. Boxing day is fab just chilling, eating and playing with dc new toys. All family members get presents to us before Christmas so dc have them to open on Christmas day as they get quite a bit and I don't feel they need to open gifts every day for a week.
I read on Facebook friends that had Christmas day and then the exact same (or Christmas day 2 as they call it) on boxing day. Some are even going for a third today! Each time their dc are photoed with lots of presents that fc has left at gp house and there are comments about eating a second or third Christmas dinner.
So I am asking aibu to think that multiple Christmas days could spoil Christmas and make dc spoilt to get loads of days of presents? Surely you end up with a Christmas day you prefer out of the multiple ones and just do the others out of duty?
Sorry didn't realise how long this wss

i ask that because i work with someone whose son wont see his dm due to his dw refusing.

Yes we do see her she only lives 5 miles away we used to get on really well but when I had dc and returned to work she now constantly tells me what a bad mother I am (even though she was a wohm) and stirs with my dh so me and dh have huge rows so we choose not to go round at times of the year when arguing will cause upset to dc

YANBU

The mass consumerism, not to mention the gluttony, is disgusting.,

We're doing it all over again today when inlaws get here. What's the big deal? was my idea as I wanted it just me, DP and the 2 kids for christmas this year.

Inlaws are bringing presents with them, but it does drive me batty when MIL coos at my children that FC left the presents at their house "by mistake" Wish they'd just say to the kids that they got these presents then the kids can thank the right people for it. They've already go an embarrassing amount of presents from santa as it is without all that!

Guess it's all down to different strokes for different folks but I find it batshit crazy.

We are a bit like like you OP.

No family about on my side and PILs abroad. Christmas day is just us at home, relaxed, no pressure. Boxing day we had friends round who are in the same boat as us.

There's no multiple Christmas days or present opening. But I think you are being a bit U to think that it would spoil Christmas day. I sometimes wish the DCs had more family around to make an effort for them, but then I read all the stresses people have on here with big families and dynamics and am glad we can just do it our way.

As a child we would do Christmas day at home with relatives and boxing day at my paternal grandmothers and sometimes a third day at an aunts house. So it was 2/3 days of full on Christmas, but we all loved it. Seeing our grandparents and cousins and our aunts and uncles. We had no rush to be "ready" on Christmas day and there is photographic evidence from years gone by of myself and my brother still in our dressing gowns opening gifts whilst great-grandma and grandma are sitting next to us, sipping on sherry in their twinset and pearls!

Everyone does Christmas differently, so yes, I think YABU to judge how other families celebrate it. And it sounds lovely, getting together with family to celebrate and share a meal and gifts, that is giving children a positive message not spoiling them. And in case you've forgotten, it will be a whole year before they do it again!

YABU, we come from 2 very large families so it is impossible to see everyone and celebrate christmas with them all at once. Christmas day was just us and DB and DSiL and children, yesterday DH's family and today my parents. I will admit to being totally exhausted and full to the brim but to me christmas is about family and spending the time with those people. We are not greedy in expectations of presents but love having a whole day of festivities which are dedicated to family time. So yes YABU, what works for you is fine, what works for others is in truth up to them!

Christmas is spread out with us too, dh's parents are divorced and remarried and both like to see their grandchildren open their gifts.

My parents suggested now my siblings amd i all have our own families, we have Christmas in our own homes, and they then see us after Christmas, Normally at a restuarant or hotel, then back at theirs for tea, hey too like to see the children opening their gifts.

I actually prefer it being spread out, as it means gifts come slowly and are appreciated, rather than ripping in, all on one opening session.

Dh had 3 weeks off last year so we spread out Christmas. It made the holiday time quite special for us.

Everyone I know does it differently, our method just works for us.

We celebrate over a few days mainly because we buy too much food and booze
We also have a family do on NYE and NYD.
So thatd at least 5 days and to me thatz not long enough!!

YABU

There are different ways that work for different families. None are wrong just different.

I used to have christmas day part two on boxing day because my parents were divorced, it was nice.

Now my family are spread out by hundreds of miles so our christmas is spread out over various days.

I still have a very relaxed christmas day at home with my children, Ive got various family members visiting up to the new year, we will exchange presents but I wont be doing any more big roast dinner.

YABU, my family is BIG.

We have around 5 Christmas Days.

It is fantastic, from about Mid December to Mid January, no pressured lunches here, we just make it up as we go along.

We went to a friends' on Xmas eve and pretty much had an Xmas day there. Saw my parents and nan for a while in the evening too. Proper Xmas was just us and the DCs. My parents came round for a bit yesterday for an impromptu buffet and presents.

We are having yet another Xmas on New Year's Eve - by mutual agreement, DSCs always have Xmas at their mum's (where they live) and we always do the whole thing again with them. Can't wait! It is different in some ways since they are teens (our DCs are little) and it is fantastic.

It's been harder to arrange everything this year since I am now working FT, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Each to their own and all that.

I've never quite seen the point of replicating Christmas Day on any day other than Christmas. Although I accept that it suits some families.

But we still entertain over several days at Christmas and each day has its own pleasures. Boxing Day, for example, involves a house full of family, lots of relaxing in front of the fire and a delicious buffet tea. Tomorrow we meet up with DP's db and sil for eating and exchanging presents. But we won't pretend it is Christmas Day. Because it isn't. It is, however, no less of a nice day for all that.

I don't think it's necessarily about gluttony. More about spending time together surely?

That's what I love most about the Xmas we have with DSCs - especially as DSS is at uni/working now so we don't see much of him. If Xmas was just about the presents, we could easily just deliver them to their mum's house in advance and take back the ones they've got for us/DCs, and all open them in our separate houses on Xmas day and thank each other by phone... but then we wouldn't have the wonderful few days of us all crammed into our tiny house, playing silly games and watching movies and seeing in the new year together. Exchanging presents will be fun of course but the most exciting thing is having all 5 DCs/DSCs together DSD is looking forward to making us French toast for breakfast, we will have a nice roast and something for pudding, and maybe make some little biscuits or something as the girls enjoy doing that, and get to know DSS' GF a bit more too as she is also visiting.

Sorry for the spectacularly long sentence there got a bit carried away - I'm excited!

I've always had several days of celebration, not least because we had a large extended family and three family birthdays in the week between Christmas and New Year. Makes it even more fun and even more exciting IMO.

Most people who have family around over christmas do end up having more than one event. This year we hosted Christmas with my parents and DB, then boxing day went to PIL, we've got BIL, SIL & DN coming over on Saturday, and I'll probably do a roast because (whispers) it's rather easy and most stuff can be thrown in the oven a few hours before they arrive meaning you can actually talk to your guests when they arrive.

Very few families are just the nuclear family like yours over the season. How else to people fill the week? (today is dragging!)