To feel incredibly let down?

[MadameCastafiore]

The only present which I did not ask for, which I will actually get some use out of is a pair of oven gloves!

Everything else I either specifically had to describe or send the link to or got something that I would never use or is way too big for me.

Just feel really fecking down about it - I spend so much time bothering to get people things that I think they will like or I store away little snippets of info that they impart throughout the year to get them things they are interested in.

I sound really ungrateful but we had a secret santa thing yesterday and I had really put effort into getting things the person would like although we had a strict budget and had to get a certain amount of presents for that budget. I got crap - total crap that someone would not dream of wrapping up for a bloody present.

And today I have got to sneak the one thing out of the house that DH bought me using his own brain and try and send it back as it is something I would never wear but he is going to be sad as he is always going on about how crap he is at buyig presents.

I just feel like crying - I'm a bloody mug aren't I or am I being a bit sensitive - just feel like no bloody point bothering next year and everyone can have a bloody gift voucher and a book.

All those saying you are ungrateful do not understand. For some people giving a thoughtful gift is a way of expressing affection. This means that when they get less than thoughtful gift, they feel unloved. People generally express love in the way they would like to be shown love.

I also think there's also a difference between people trying and failing to get a good gift (forgivable), and people just getting anything for the sake of giving presents (not forgivable).

just specifically ask for things you want in future? and keep back a tenner from gift budget to buy yourself something frivolous to open on the day

I once spent months agonizing over my DP;s birthday present, (this was many years ago and we'd been together a year). Everything he liked was so particular, (antiques, specialized books, things I knew nothing about). I researched, I asked friends, I scoured shops and knew I was out of my depth so I bought him a jumper. A lovely, soft jumper in a colour I thought he'd love from one of his favourite shops and really expensive for me.

He said he loved it. I never saw him wear it though. Months later I saw one of his friends wearing it. I was so dissappointed for him and loved him for not hurting my feelings. No-one could have said I didn't put any thought or effort in to it even though I got it wrong.

I hate these smug people who think that buying stuff makes them superior and that their own presents are always loved by the recipient, How do you know?!

Now I ask for specific instructions - and it is mainly to make a nice Chrstmas experience for the DCs. There are other things I can do for him to make him happy.

But you cannot infer that because you think gift giving is equivalent to affection other people do too. I actually love researching stuff and scouring eBay but just because its not my husband's bag (I told him this year to get me nothing and he took me at my word - which is fine) he doesn't love me. He makes me feel loved in much less superficial ways.

If my self worth was measured in gifts received it would make me a pretty insecure person. Also he finds it extraordinary and rather twee that I like thinking so hard about gifts. I kind of agree with him but I still like doing it.

Why are people being so mean? It's pretty obvious there are people out there who don't think before they buy. Often, they don't even buy, they just find something they were given that they didn't like and pass it on.

The OP has thought about the presents she gave other people. She got thoughtless presents in return. Why should she be happy about that?

And for all you martyrs who are saying she should sell the presents and give the money to a charity "for those people who don't have Christmas presents" - err what charity is that then? And why should she?

Op- Get yourself to the sales and buy something you like.
Don't feel quilty about it.
That's what I have done.

That should read "guilty" not quilty!

I got a fucking slanket.

FFS.

(Not from DH or that would have been the end!)