to ask would you actually follow your own advice??

[covermyfacefromthesun]

I always see on here, tell her she's a bitch, say this to them, do that to her, leave him etc.

All of which could make the situation worse.

Do the people that suggest saying and doing stuff for other people who ask on 'aibu' actually do it themselves if they were in the same situation.

Um, yes. I would tell the person who parked in P&C parking without any DC they were being a dick!

I would ask a friend why she was nasty. I would call relatives up on bad behaviour.

I do not tell people to do things I would not do myself. In fact I do say 'I would......' quite often!!

I probably would not pour water out of my open bedroom window on to smoking neighbour though, that was naughty to suggest and the person could be done for assault.

Yep, take no prisoners here, I try to be polite first in getting my point across, then if that doesn't work the first time blunt or as others would have it rude.

I have been known to kick people out of a party for commenting on dust being in my house , if you are in my house you don't get to comment on my housekeeping but you can leave.

Yes I am afraid so!

Oh Miss, my words of greeting are generally 'If you have come to visit me and my family you are welcome, if you have come to judge my housekeeping you can fuck off'. Yes, really!!

You would be welcome any time!

Yes absolutely.

yes, i'd take my own advice and follow it.

i'm not one of the 'call her on it' brigade, especially in the workplace. i think a lot of life is about quietly adapting to your situation, rather than seeking confrontation.

i do suggest that people ltb, if their situation seems likely to lead to further unhappiness. when i had an opportunity to get rid of my oh, i did it.

I'm afraid so.

And I have often had.

Except when I haven't been able to think about it because I was initially stunned.

However, I must point out that my advice doesn't include violence or swear words, for example.

Yeah I'm referring more to the swearing and violence etc.

In AIBU, quite possibly not, as it's not that sort of forum. It is a robust place and will not attract measured or deeply considered responses.

If something is in the relevant subject forum, then I would be far more nuanced.

I always wonder this when someone posts about witnessing some form or other of hideous/inappropriate/abusive parenting and the thread fills up with holier-than-thou types who suggest "befriending" the parent and "offering them some support".

I don't take offence easily and am pretty relaxed about most stuff and think a lot of people on here do get their knickers in a twist over very petty things however if you do step over my boundaries you will know about it. I prefer to manage my own behaviour than manage others

I would yes - with the mil threads I often think some frank talking is needed. But I never advise to swear or use violence.

A lot of the time, yes.

But sometimes it is precisely because I HAVEN'T done X, Y, Z in a comparable situation and I have seriously suffered for it that I would advise people to handle something differently in the hope that they don't go through what I went through.

sometimes having been in a situation and mishandling it, you can see clearly what NOT to do, as you've gone through hell and fought your way out of it.

I think that's valuable to others too.

oh. violence. then no.

Yes unfortunately. I tend to be rather single minded and determined, plus a little bit too outspoken. Am never afraid to just do my own thing / call someone out / complain in a restaurant / ban people from my house / throw people of out the house / say 'don't be so rude' at virtual strangers.

Need to work on my diplomacy TBH.

I think some things are easier said than done.

Depends on the scenario really, but on the whole people don't tend to take the piss with me and I only spend time around people I like. so Ive not been in most situations that posters describe.

I wouldnt hit someone, but I wouldnt advise someone else to either.

I would suggest a swift 'fuck off' though and have done so on numerous occasions.

I do and have sworn but would never advocate violence unless its in self defence and it makes me scream when people suggest threatening/intimidating children what ever they have supposedly done to the posters child.

Yes. I generally would follow my own advice. But I never advise violence and I rarely advise profanity all on its own.

I don't normally tell people to be aggressive and very rarely advise ltb.
In the circumstances where I do it's normally bad enough that yes,I would follow my own advice.
I have lovely family and inlaws though (generally and through compromise from both parties) so find it hard to get my head around some people's situations

Yep.

I left the bastard and my life improved five thousand-fold.

I tell people NO when need be and my life is much better for it

I don't put up with shit from my family or feel the need to involve them in my life when they are toxic, again my life is better for it having not always been this way.

When i give advice like the above, it's because of my own experience of things being so much better when you do.

Well, I try not to comment on things that haven't happened to me, as I will genuinely not know how what my response would be.

But if I do comment, it will be what I would do as opposed to what I think I should do - otherwise I will state that!