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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have take their Xmas presents away?

25 replies

ruledbyheart · 26/12/2012 09:51

My DC have been rotten this morning, I nipped to the toilet and when I came back they had opened up several presents that are for DPs family we are seeing today and ripped up the envelopes to the cards, not only did they open them they ripped open a box of biscuits and helped themselves.

I left them on the counter so didn't think A they can reach and B they would bother, DCs are 4, 3 and 2years old.

As punishment I have taken away their best toys from yesterday but DP thinks I am being too harsh and it's my fault for not watching them, he was in the bath getting ready.

AIBU?

OP posts:

poachedeggs · 26/12/2012 09:59

Hmm, I think at 4 it's totally reasonable to expect a wrapped present to remain so - they understood the presents weren't for them?

However I agree it's pretty harsh. They are very little. Have you set a time for themto them backback?

forevergreek · 26/12/2012 09:59

I don't think I would. You must have been to the loo for long enough for them to manage to do all of that!

Jenny70 · 26/12/2012 10:00

Bit harsh, but then I'd be furious - at 4 and 3 I would think they'd know not to rip into presents without asking.... the 2yr old, less to blame (although the other kids if they have any sense are pointing the finger at the little one doing it!).

Maybe the threat is they can't have them until tomorrow, and they need to make new cards for the family and appologise to them for ruining the presents (and if they don't like that idea, no presents from the family to them).

And hardly supporting of DH to be critical when he wasn't any more help supervising, it was hardly like you couldn't use the toilet, he couldn't see/hear them any more than you could.

3ForMe · 26/12/2012 10:03

Yabu to have used the toilet when dh was in the bath......

Unless it was a separate toilet.

Anyway, I personally feel ybalittleu, I'm sure they wouldn't face done it out if malice at that age, you should have known to keep the gifts etc away from them, and taking their 'best' toys away is mean-at their age.

Sirzy · 26/12/2012 10:04

How long where they alone?

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas · 26/12/2012 10:07

Depends how long you are planning on taking them away for. Nothing to stop you gong to them now and saying they shouldn't have done, are they missing their toys so they get the link and then give them back.

littlewhitebag · 26/12/2012 10:07

Kids sometimes do things like this without thinking about it, especially if there are three of them goading each other on. I would go for whatever punishment they usually get for being naughty and move on. They are all tired and little over stimulated at this time of year.

Svrider · 26/12/2012 10:07

So you have children of 2,3and 4 and left presents where they could see and get to them?
And were then surprised when said children unwrapped them?
And have now taken away their Xmas presents?
Wow, just wow
Yabu
Put presents somewhere safe next time

SirSugar · 26/12/2012 10:08

thats actually funny, bet they were having a fantastic time 'home alone'

perceptionInaPearTree · 26/12/2012 10:08

I think your dp is right, sorry.

everlong · 26/12/2012 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 26/12/2012 10:11

I was gone 5 minutes ish pregnant with issues in that area doesn't help.

They knew the presents were for someone else as I told them the plans for the day.

My two year old is the ringleader in every thing and probably asked the boys to get them down for her as she does in the other rooms (not normally at that height though), she is a smart child for her age, but my 4yr old is a bit behind, although their understanding is sometimes under estimated.

I told them they could have the presents back if they behaved today.

Separate toilet.

OP posts:

Xales · 26/12/2012 10:12

Well first off I would knock the being blamed by you DP on the head. A couple of minutes popping to the loo is natural.

I reckon 3 kids could do that pretty fast and the eldest who knows better would have been the one to reach them I guess?

I don't think taking away the favourite toys for a day is OTT. Better they learn not to do this now rather than still be doing in 10 years due to lack of consequence. These were not given to the they took them.

They will have company or go out soon enough so it wont hurt them.

SecretSantaFix · 26/12/2012 10:13

IF they knew that they were for other people then not a disproportionate response.

Unless you were gone for ages, then they could have been planning on it and were so well supervised yesterday they didn't have chance. A wrapped parcel is a huge temptation for children.

cinnamonnut · 26/12/2012 10:23

Taking them away for a day is okay, I think.

ZebraInHiding · 26/12/2012 10:23

I agree with littkewhitebag.

peaceandlovebunny · 26/12/2012 12:20

too small to understand that not everything was for them.

thegreylady · 26/12/2012 12:37

Take them away for an hour or two at most.

Garnier · 26/12/2012 12:43

what peaceandlovebunny said. yabu. They are only little. All kids are crazy at christmas, calm down and explain to your family what has happened. They will all laugh about it.

JenaiMathis · 26/12/2012 13:07

Take them away for the day. Your husband is being UR.

JenaiMathis · 26/12/2012 13:09

And arf at the :(

Good grief!

PavlovtheCat · 26/12/2012 13:15

YANBU. How will they learn if you don't put sanctions in place now? You have not taken their toys away for good, just for one day. and you are going to be busy seeing other people anyway. Can you get the older ones to help re-wrap the presents that have been opened?

Certainly the 4 and 3 yr should know better. DS is 2, and he knows that he opens no presents, whether for him or not for him, without me/DH present with him. Even if those presents where for them, they were not given to them to open, and maybe the 2yr old is a little too young, but you said can't reach that far, so that part of it should not have been a problem.

Follow through with your sanction and remind them that good behaviour will mean they get them back tomorrow. And now that is done, the punishment has been given, it can be forgotten and the day can continue happy in every other way.

PavlovtheCat · 26/12/2012 13:15

my DS is 3 - not 2 i have not had fizz this morning, honestly

Minkymum · 26/12/2012 13:29

Hmmm... the 4 year old probably knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but the others are a bit too young. Nice to see they can work together as a team though! Personally i wouldn't have taken the toys away ( although I understand the knee-jerk reaction). I would probably have sat them down, explained that I had spent ages wrapping nice surprises and that I felt sad that I would have to do it again. Let them draw their own conclusions and then let them make it better by making it up to you. Then you can talk about why it wasn't the right thing to do when everyone is feeling happy again. They won't want to upset you again. The crime isn't the opening of the exciting presents or the eating of delicious biscuits, it's upsetting their mum. You should be able to leave them alone to go to the loo ffs! On the upside you'll all laugh about this story for years to come :)

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 26/12/2012 14:02

I think you're being a bit harsh. if you do take the presents away make it so they can earn them back easily . Saying sorry to you should do it imo.

This is exactly why the presents for other people in our family are hidden elsewhere. I only put DCs and our presents under the tree. Mine are 1 and 5. I knew they'd get destroyed otherwise. Baby DS would be the main culprit but doubt DD would have stopped him. Especially if there was biscuits involved!

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