To want to go home?

[Rugbycomet]

We holiday every year over this period in the sun. Today has been awful!!! Lunch on the beach, DH drinking too much, dd1 getting upset over ds being unkind to her last night! Dd2 becoming aggressive through drink, and treating me like shit!!! DH telling me to FO...loads more but really am so fed up I cannot begin to say!! Sorry to drip feed....

I want to change my flight and go home tomorrow!!! AIBU

Sorry...meant to say that dd1 is 23, ds is 21 and dd2 is 19 and so not babes in arms!!!

natasha. Yes...drink fuelled and although I have had a couple, feel so uncomfortable and like a punchball, I really want to go home. Would it be mean to change my flight??

I mean, they can all fend for themselves!!

Yes YABU, although you feel how you feel so it's upto you!

I think YABU because you are there already. I'm guessing quite a long way away? And it's sunny. It is pissing it down here! I know if you're having a crap time that may not be the point but can you try to make the best of it and enjoy the benefits of being somewhere warm and sunny? Disengage from the family crap and promise yourself to stay home next year.

Family is family, they would argue and drink too much at home. Just cooped up in doors,with rain drumming down!

Sorry you're having a rubbish time.

You shouldn't have to put up with feeling like a punchball.
If you want to make tracks home, do it. Might shake them up a bit.
If you feel better later you can cancel your plans. But if it feels right, keep going!

thinkaboutit ....it seems to be the same very year and although I love having my family around, it causes so much stress!! We all live in different parts of the world and I try to tell myself, it's because we do not see each other a great deal that this friction arises. However, this is not how a happy family should be!! The fact that we have all got quite strong characters also doesn't help!!

Aaarrrghhhh!!!

Thanks ladywordy

I sont think they realise how they have behaved!! I will have words with them tomorrow when they are sober!!!

I haven't changed the flight yet but I will do it tomorrow I'd they can't seem to understand how they made me feel today!

Could you not just have a chat with them when you are all sober? Doing a moonlight flit seems a bit passive aggressive, but then most of the advice given on Mn is passive aggressive, can't anyone just spit it the fuck out anymore?

Sounds like they could do with a rude awakening OP. If you have the money fly home tomorrow, they are adults. You deserve to enjoy your Christmas as well...19 to 23, they'll be fine!

I'd get them all round the table and let them have it with both barrels in the morning. It is not acceptable for them to treat you badly. You are not their punchbag you are their mother and deserve to be treated with some respect. I hope they do see the error of their ways and be nicer.

Tell them you are fed up with all the arguing and you will be spending the day at the spa. They are not to bother you. You will meet them for dinner, but any arguing you will get up and leave. And repeat until its time to go home:)

I don't blame you for being fed up. We all like a good drink in my family but certain people don't seem to be able to handle it without getting stupidly drunk far too often, and either aggressive and argumentative with it mil or just incredibly annoying and repetitive DM . It really pisses me off and makes me not want to be around them.

DH and I have decided to massively cut down (me) give up altogether (him) because of this sort of thing.

I have been very drunk more times than I am proud of, but as a rule I can drink in moderation to enjoy myself without getting excessive/silly with it. I have never once become argumentative or aggressive or behaved like an anti-social tit because of alcohol, and people who do REALLY piss me off.

I think if you go home to the pissing-with-rain UK and let it stew, you will feel much worse than if you stay in the sunny place and try to sort this out amicably, when people aren't rat-arsed. But YANBU to feel crappy - certainly not.

Personally op I would leave them to it at the hotel/villa wherever. Grab a book head for the beach/nearest care and have some serious you time. Enjoy it, don't let their bitching ruin the holiday. I really wouldn't change your flights, your dcs are adults now and you don't have to stay with them especially given their behaviour! Enjoy yourself op!

Yanbu and I hope your dc paid for their own flights at that age to ruin your holiday. If not I'd be telling them to pay me back for spoiling it all.

If you can afford it, why can't you book a flight and come home. Your kids are old enough.

I think it'd be a mistake to leave if you all live in different parts of the world and rarely see each other. The chances of sorting it out when you've huffed off will be minimal, I'd have thought - it'd be better to talk about it face to face.

I'd try telling them you're really upset about it all and want everyone to make more of an effort to get along. Make the best of it, and go off & have a good time on your own if they continue (which they probably will). But hey, at least you've tried.

Btw, if dh told me to fuck off a lot, then I'd be rethinking the relationship, not just the holiday.

this reminds me that the human heart is so very optimistic.

why, when people hardly see each other (presumably, because they prefer not to) do they imagine they will all get along well at christmas? just because hope wells in our hearts.

hope you and your family can make peace.
when you are at home, work out what you really want. sounds like you have all gone your separate ways already.

peaceand love we have not gone our separate ways but we live in France and the two daughters are in London. One working and the other at uni. DH works in another European country as that is where the money is!!!

Thanks to all who have replied. I have spoken to dd2 about her behaviour and she has apologised. I have also told her about the effects alcohol has on her. I have not yet spoken to DH as I can't look him in the eye and I know that I will totally blow when I do!