am I or is He

[dementedmumof6]

Had dh family round for xmas dinner, wasn't planning on them all being here but because his(their) mother died a couple of months ago they all wanted to be together.
Family arrived at about 1.30 for xmas lunch and are STILL fricking here, they mentioned inviting some friends over have nothing against the friends but have now had enough.
I want to put my jammies on sit in front of the tv and do nothing but am now hiding in my room, with dh in a huff with me because he invited the friends over after i asked him not to and i told him not happy about it .
so aibu in thinking you come for xmas lunch then leave about 5/6 at the latest or is dh right and i'm just a miserable cow.

Neither of you were unreasonable, you just had a different idea of what you wanted from Christmas. Your DH has as much right to invite people over as you have to say you don't want to. As its understandably a difficult Christmas for him and his family, I think you should have just let it go. His needs took priority over yours this Christmas.

He was unreasonable by going back on the agreement and inviting people over in such a sneaky manner.
Losing a parent or loved one does not give you cart blanche to priorotise your wants over everyone else including children, it affords you some sympathy, empathy and support.
You had come to an arrangement, he took the piss IMHO.

He could of easily gone somewhere else or to a pub, they could of all had a merry time remembering mum elsewhere, they didn't have to disturb sleeping children FGS.

Nothing worse than visitors who overstay their welcome. Part of the problem is that you didn't give them a time to leave in advance. I always tell people in when they'll be leaving because otherwise I'll be stuck with the few who never do, it also means nobody is overstaying out of politeness because they don't want to insult you by leaving 'early'.

Learn from this and don't hold xmas for them next year. With six kids, you have more than enough stress.

Am I odd, or is the idea of telling people when they'll be leaving a tad weird?! I just cannot imagine greeting people at the door, and giving them a time slot for leaving...!

i can also see both sides. tbh i would have let it go under the circumstances. he was sneaky with the phoning friends,but it is easy to get carried away. try not to let it rumble on and spoil rrst of the holiday.

Husbands words to me the day after were u don't invite people for dinner then give them a time to leave, I didn't, i wasn't throwing them out, but to me we had lunch at 2 and if I had been at there house would have left no later than 7/7.30 as that it is good manners not to outstay welcome.

To be honest if it had just been the family i would have rejoined them after settling the children it was the friends they invited that annoyed me because that told me it was going to continue into the small hours and because it had already been discussed.

I personally think it is odd to carry on having a merry old time when the house owner has gone to bed, good guests know when it is time to leave.
I would be embarressed if i didn't get the hints and it had got to that point.

He is BU, he shouldn't of invited the friends over until the next day, as he had agreed to that before hand, so IMHO he doesn't have a leg to stand on in this argument.
He was very rude and he put you all in a very uncomfortable situation.
I bet he was counting on you just going along with it and not wanting to cause a scene because of his situation, which is dreadful to me, playing on his mothers death.
I doubt she would think it was ok.

He wasn't BU if it was just his family, after all they had just lost their mum, so i suppose wanting to be together at christmas is very understandable but he was BU to have allowed friends over, especially so late-that's the part where i would have got annoyed tbh.