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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell my ds12 Father Christmas doesn't exist

50 replies

notnagging · 25/12/2012 05:04

My ds (9) told my eldest ds (12) that Father Christmas didn't exist, on Christmas Eve ! He then asked my dh who confirmed it.I said he could've waited until after Christmas. Ds went to bed upset & has asked me to tell him the true. I said the others were just being miserable. Tbh I'm surprised he still believes & I thought he was just going along with it for his younger siblings. What should I say?

OP posts:

Polgara2 · 25/12/2012 06:54

Goat bongo
We went down that route when dd2 who was 11 found out by accident at Christmas dinner (and putting 2 and 2 together iyswim). She was upset at first but the st Nicholas story helped. She then proceeded to ask about the tooth fairy etc so had quite an eventful day in the end! I was actually going to tell her later that year before she went to secondary anyway but not on Christmas day! She was fine don't worry too much about it, it's all part of growing up. Have a good Christmas

RedHelenB · 25/12/2012 07:19

Make sure that your 9 year old doesn't spoil it for anyone else. If they are old enough not to believe they are old enough not to spoil it for others!

Original poster

notnagging · 25/12/2012 09:50

Well I read them the story of st Nichola & then baffled them with science so who knows. Seemed to work , I did such a good job I'm not sure he doesn't exist now

OP posts:

FryOneFatChristmasTurkey · 25/12/2012 10:15

DS was 7 when he told DP and I that Santa couldn't exist so it must be us

His reasoning was that magic doesn't exist and that there is no way Santa could get round the world fast enough in one night to visit every house. He'd obviously been thinking this through for some time (and his liking for shows like Mythbusters helped ).

So now the game for DS and DD (aged 12) is to try and stay awake long enough to catch us putting their stockings in their rooms.

They didn't manage it.... out like a light.. again!

LookingForwardToMarch · 25/12/2012 10:22

12....wow

I figured it out when I was 6...found a load of my presents lol.

Managed to keep it secret from my parents until i was about ten, I figured that if they knew I knew about santa I wouldn't get as many presents.

But seriously at school it was generally well known by the age of 8 at the latest that he wasn't real.

And sadly i can remember the ones who insisted he was real were laughed at and generally looked down on.

JenaiMathis · 25/12/2012 11:20

Well that's a shame, looking. And nothing like my own experience (nor that of my son).

perceptionInaPearTree · 25/12/2012 11:25

12?? Seriously?

motherinferior · 25/12/2012 11:26

Twelve?????

gazzalw · 25/12/2012 11:37

DS (nearly 12) was probably about 9 when he clued up but I thought that was pretty good going in this day and age. However DD (7) has had the magic destroyed by DS now ;-(. Also she is a very practical and aware child and claims to have seen us wrapping up pressies on Christmas Eve (no doubt spying through the keyhole)...There's not a lot you can say to that really is there?

I think it is amazing and special if children can hold on to these beliefs until they are 12 or so. DW had a friend though who had to tell her DS the truth when he went to high school because she was worried that he would be teased mercilessly.

LookingForwardToMarch · 25/12/2012 11:50

Amazingly Jenai it ddn't take any of the magic away for me.

The atmosphere was the same, family and friends were still gathered around and I still had presents!

The only difference for me was that I understood that my parents were responsible for all my lovely pressies and that they deserved my gratitude far more than some fat bloke in a suit.

P.S I also still loved disneyland....way after I had figured out that magic wasn't real and mickey mouse was actually a man in a suit.

LookingForwardToMarch · 25/12/2012 11:51

*Didn't

JenaiMathis · 25/12/2012 12:05

Ah, see the only thing Father Christmas brought (and bought I guess) was the stocking. Same for ds.

Longfufu · 25/12/2012 12:08

Isn't lying to your children normal...father Christmas, Easter bunny, tooth fairy.....Baby Jesus...etc!

LucieMay · 25/12/2012 12:33

Really? He really still believed at 12? I'm not being critical, I'm just so surprised! Surely his mates at high school must've said something?

Ds, six, worked it out earlier this year and debunked the myth, I confirmed it, and he was very pleased with himself. But he is six going on 16 sometimes, it's just the two of us, so a lot of the time I talk to him/treat him like he's much older than he is (without meaning to!) which has clearly rubbed off on his attitude!

crookedcrock · 25/12/2012 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

notnagging · 25/12/2012 12:54

I have told him to keep it to himself because some of his friends won't believe. I'm not sure they all believed me but they only get one present from Father Christmas not the whole lot so they are all happy

OP posts:

alistron1 · 25/12/2012 13:11

I've got a 13 year old DS who doesn't 'believe' However, last night when we were shifting presents downstairs I thought it would be amusing to do it wearing a Santa outfit and beard - I did a last minute present check upstairs and woke him up!! he sat up, looked at me, said 'SHIT!' and lay back down and put his quilt over his head

We haven't spoken of it today!

LucieMay · 25/12/2012 13:38

How you do get around the physical impossibility of it? DS is not a genius by any means but he worked it out himself that it is impossible for a sleigh and reindeer to fly through the air, for Santa to carry that many presents, to be able to get into anyone's houses etc... how do most children believe that once they get past the age (prob about five) at which they can work out none of it is possible?

5madthings · 25/12/2012 14:11

Because he is magic obviously!

There is nothing wrong eith a 12yr old believing. He probably did know it isnt real but enjoys joining in with his younger siblings and still being a child himself. 12 is a tricky age and i would imagind it comforting fot him to still believe and join in the magic with his younger siblings :)

My eldest two are 13 and 10, they dont belive but have gone along with it for the younger three, 8, 4 and 2 and rhey enjoy pretending :)

Original poster

notnagging · 25/12/2012 16:34

He is very bright & believes it is because Father Christmas is a Macroscopic Quantum Object.
The full explanation is here.
m.guardian.co.uk/science/2000/dec/14/uk.technology

OP posts:

inchoccyheaven · 25/12/2012 17:40

My ds1 (12) and ds2(10) both still believe and as far as I know have not been picked on for it and I am not going to tell them otherwise. They will work it out in their own good time, and yes they are both intelligent but happen to believe it a bit of magic.

DS1 spent ages tracking santa on Norad yesterday and then trying to race him to the next destination by using googlemaps. He has been really excited this year and we have relished it knowing next year he could well be a moody teenager with no interest at all.

FurryDogMother · 25/12/2012 18:34

I'm not sure what you're all talking about - what do you mean, Santa isn't real? Of course he is, I still believe, and put mince pies and sherry out for him every year. It's always gone in the morning. Q.E.D.

Louise1956 · 23/10/2013 19:03

Can't believe anyone still believes in Santa at 12. don't other kids take the piss out of him about it? I would have found that quite bizarre.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 23/10/2013 19:38

ZOMBIESS

CoffeeTea103 · 23/10/2013 19:50

I can't believe he still believes in this. Did none of his friends speak to him. You rather tell him Asap, he will be laughed at in school if people figure it out.

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