To feel like DS is being 'bought'

[BoyMeetsWorld]

So I've been sent a photo by ExP of DS's Christmas Present pile. We take turns over alternative years of who has him on Christmas morning. It's very hard bit I do believe it's a fair arrangement.

However...I can't decide if he texted me the photo
maliciously or not. One way or another...I've never seen so many presents in my life. I counted & he's got at least 30. I texted to ask ExP what he's got & basically they've bought the entire range of any toy DS has asked for this year. Complete character sets, play sets etc.

I feel deflated. & a bit scared.
I've saved up all year to get the 8 things we've got DS. Now I'm almost certain he'll already have been given them all. Plus no matter how I try to look at it, it can't look good to a child that one parent buys them so much & the other so 'little'. He doesn't understand the value of money etc yet.

I'm glad he'll be happy, but I feel like he's being 'bought out' from under me - feel really sad about tomorrow now when he comes home

Don't you dare feel sad!

Your DS adores you and won't give a second thought to whatever else he's got, he'll be pleased to see you and will love the things you've got him

DC don't compare shit like that, if your DH is trying to get one over on you, so. fucking. what?

Leave him to play his games (if he's playing them at all, it's possible he just got carried away enjoying buying all the things he'd have liked when he were a lad) and don't give him another thought while you enjoy the rest of the day with your DS.

Thank you so much agent - that brought a tear to my eye. I know my DS does love me, he's such a special little person. & I hope he can see beyond all that even at his young age. Maybe you're right & ExP is just super excited without even thinking about the implications

No kids don't compare stuff like that.
He'll just be thrilled to bit to have so much to open and then when he gets home to you he'll be thrilled to open more.
If there are duplicates then you and your DC can take them and exchange for other things he wants.

Awww - just telling the truth

(I thought I maight have been a bit too direct when I read the post back )

How old is your DS?

Hahahaha 'maight'

I've come over all posh

Oh no, do not feel deflated and scared. I am the same, tbh you have done better than me!!

I have opened a Park savings for next year already due to guilt.

All the presents are here now though, from relatives, not the DH side, he never even got them one... anyway, they have a nice bundle each and I know they will be happy as if I smile and dance around lots they do too!!

You have him tomorrow that is what counts!

I know it is difficult but try not to dwell on it too much. Have a lovely day tomorrow!

Thanks everyone... dS is 4. You all have a lovely Christmas too x

Don't feel insecure about the amount of presents. My parents separated when I was 9 and my brother was 2. My mum always earned a higher salary and it was exponentially so by the time my brother was 9. We have never compared our parents and the presents they give or have given us. Children are grateful for what they are given,presents are presents.

He will love what you have bought him just as much. He really will.

Your ex may well not have meant anything by it but if he did,how sad a person does that make him?! Ignore it.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas

Have a lovely Day!! x

Aw I think ex sounds excited and proud, texting you a pic of the present pile! And he's actually sat and wrapped them all! He doesn't sound bad at all, just carried away. DS will love all his pressies so don't worry.

Aawww, don't be sad DS will still adore you and know you're his Mummy, plus he got all those gifts too!!-lucky lad! . x

Don't be sad. DC will not compare and will love all the presents he gets. You sound lovely and caring and the good thing I guess is that both sides of the family care. Merry Christmas x

Children don't measure stuff like that. I once bought my dd a mahouusive playmobil castle. Her favourite gift that year-a triangle (of the musical variety).

It's all the little things that you do that let's them know how much you love them and how important they are to you. Reading them a bedtime story, knowing the name of their best friend, remembering to take their water to the park on a hot day.

Establish your own traditions to celebrate things so you can't be 'outdone'. I make the same cake covered in mini-eggs every Easter, make 'number biscuits' every birthday, get new PJ's on Christmas Eve, have the same felt advent calendar and it is these little things that my dc seem to associate with certain events.

My parents were divorced when I was 4.

I can honestly say that when I look back now, I remember favourite christmas toys but I couldn't for the life of me remember which parent bought it for me.

I don't think it was ever a factor for us. ANd my parents probably did try and outdo us but we just never noticed!

Ask him in a week who bought which present. The answer will be either Santa or a blank look.

Ask him who his favourite person in the whole world is. The answer will either be something random like his stuffed guinea pig or Mummy.

Who does he draw pictures for at nursery? Who does he come to for cuddles when he falls over? That's not related to money.

The most importance things cannot be measured by the size of the box they came in or how big the price tag was...

well, my dd is erally taken with the 15p activity book... so you never know what they will be thrilled with.

when push comes to shove, they want the primary carer when needing comfort

Hope you're having a lovely day OP!

And I really hope you have stopped worrying! X

(I never do X's but it's Christmas so you get a big one!)

Got to add that I don't think the children will judge that way at all. DSS received a big stack of presents yesterday. He then spent most of the evening playing with the streamers from inside the party poppers....

He's on his way home...should be back in an hour. I keep looking at his little pile & stressing. They've taken him to a panto too which is lovely but what we are doing ...but it'll be a totally different one so I'm sure he'll love both. What's the betting is his fave prezzie is the rocket our dog found in the river at the park yesterday & iv disinfected / scrubbed up for him as his special gift from the dog!!!

DS (5) has played more with a small pad of post-it notes and pens than with any of the "big" stuff.

if i were you id confront the ex and ask why he has sent you that picture. i cant see any good reason unless it included your child opening them to show you your son is happy which would be a nice thing.pile of presents only with no child, twatty thing to do.