To make my daughter have Christmas on a different day?

[alisunshine29]

I have 2 daughters aged 5 years and 7 months. DD1's father and I divorced over 3 years ago and since then he has had her for 3 out of 4 Christmasses. He has a big family and they have a lovely Christmas there whereas my DH often works on Christmas day and I have no family so if DD1 stayed here it'd be just me and the two girls. This year DH is working til the 28th so I let DD1's father have her and the four of us will have Christmas when she returns. I was talking to a mum at school about this who is also divorced from her first childs father and she was very surprised and said she and her subsequent child have Christmas whether DC1 is there or not. She said she thinks my DD2 will resent having to wait for Christmas when she gets older. In my opinion, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas if the four of us weren't together and I hope DD2 will grow up to agree and want to spend it with DD1 whatever day that means it falls on. AIBU?

FGS

There is not one way to life a life... you make it exciting that you have different christmas, build your own tradition for DD2 and never mention it to an outsider so that they can not criticise. DD1 might well start to resent that you are at home having special time with DD2 but she will have to learn she can not have everything. It's about sitting down as a family and bigging up how good your plans are.

We are not having christmas dinner, I make my son open his presents according to a plan and we are only spending a few hours with family... some people would think I am the worse mother to grace the planet but my son, who has ASD thinks his christmas is just fab. In fact he requested half the day with cat, half with the dog and is only seeing family because they make better stew than me.

Christmas is special by what you make it... and what works for you.

Jeez

Live a life.... not life a life!

I think this year and possibly next year your arrangement is fine, your youngest is still a baby, she won't have a clue what's what with Xmas anyway.

Perhaps after that, if your DP's work arrangements are still the same it's be worth sending your eldest to her Dad after breakfast on Xmas day. Then you can at least do stockings, hell do them at 6.30am if your DP has to be at work at 7.30, as a family.

Then you and your youngest can do something special together Xmas day and you can do your big family Xmas, main presents and meal as a family later. Both girls get 2 Xmasses and no-one loses out.