to wish my friends would stop judging my Christmas arrangements.

[teacherandguideleader]

DP and I are not spending Christmas together, in fact we never have. He will go to his parents and I will go to my mum's. In an ideal world we would alternate, but I am my mum's only relative - if I go elsewhere she is on her own, and I would not enjoy myself knowing that.

So, DP and I came to the decision we would just go to our separate parents so we don't upset anyone.

When my friends ask what me and DP are doing, I mention our plans (without giving detail about why) and get pitying looks. It is assumed that our relationship must be 'rocky' if we don't want to spend the day together and that it is really strange.

AIBU to think they should just keep their opinions to themselves?

Everyone thinks we are weird for spending CD/BD by ourselves. My parents enjoy their own Christmas and come down after. Neither DH or I want to spend CD with his parents either.

We do this. And I will be on my own tomorrow, but it really doesn't bother me.
Probably helps that I honestly don't give a shit
what people think.

YANBU. If it works for you and your families are happy then there's no problem is there?

OhLimpPricks, can't you go with your partner?

dH's mother lives a couple of hours from London by train, and trains don't run on Boxing Day and I have to be at work at 10am on 26 th in central London.
I like my own company and am very good at pottering around and pleasing myself, watching what I want on TV and eating what I want.
My parents also live a long train journey away, but my sister and GC will be having them to stay.
dH's mum is 83 and widowed. Who knows how many more she will have. I would hate Christmas Day, knowing she were alone just so DH could stay with me. I have many blessings so it is easy to compromise.

Also 'Why not invite everyone round to yours?' is a right old middle class smuggo question. Some people haven't got the room. Some people live in studio flats or bedsits.

We do the same OP. Myself DP and DS have Christmas morning here in the house. Then he drops me and DS to my mothers and stays an hour, then he heads off to his mother. My DBro drops me back to the DP in the evening and we see his family. I cannot even imagine what it must be like not to do this. Christmas is different for everyone, Dont sweat it!

Yep, I'm another one with a 'rocky' relationship (ie just got engaged ) spending Xmas apart as we have always done over the last 7 yrs. Seeing DP and his family after Boxing Day but want to spend the day with my recently widowed mum and my DSis as is our family tradition. Nowt wrong with that!
Keep doing what you feel best OP.

My sister and her DP do the same as DP's Mum is on her own but can't really get out.

Ah solidgold, your post did make me laugh, too true!! Merry Christmas everyone, however you spend it!