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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family visiting after recovering from norovirus - AIBU precautions?

53 replies

Ninetyninepercent · 24/12/2012 11:51

MIL is coming to stay for Xmas. Poor woman has had norovirus - started Thursday with awful vomiting, but should have been symptom free (ie not being sick and not feeling sick) for 48h by the time she visits today for several days. It should be Ok, but I've been doing a bit of research into it and some places say 72h symptom free and that she can shed virus for a week. If it was any other time apart from Christmas I'd postpone her visit, but obviously with it being Christmas and her being on her own we can't do that. I think the level of risk after 48h is manageable if we take some precautions. But equally don't want to make her feel like a pariah. But with two DC, I'd really rather they didn't catch it (as I'm sure she feels too!)

Anyway....do these precautions sound OK/normal (I tend towards the OTT so want to judge opinion before I talk to her about any special measures for her stay, if any....

  • kids use our bathroom, so she has her own bathroom/toilet
  • clean toilet/bathroom and wipe door handles daily
  • no food prep done by her (awkward as she is usually very hands on, which is usually great but might be put our)
  • tell her we can't use the dish she prepared for Xmas dinner - prepped around 36h post-vomit period
  • ask kids not to cuddle in her bed in the morning (opinions espec on this? she would be really sad, as would kids)
  • change handtowels in bathrooms daily. obviously own towels.
  • no kissing on mouth

I should also say that if we get it, we get it - its not the end of the world (might get it from somewhere else at any other time of course!), but obviouslly I would much, much better we didn't.

Also I don't really want to give list of do's and don'ts to the kids and get them all unnecessarily bug averse or DGM averse. PLUS I don't realy want Xmas ruined by me being all hawk vigiliant over her for everyone's sake. What precautions would you take?

OP posts:
BettySuarez · 24/12/2012 13:27

I think that good hand hygiene is all you need to endure plus frequent changes of towels etc

guanosoup · 24/12/2012 13:50

And please let your children cuddle her!!!

jellybeans · 24/12/2012 14:22

I agree with the poster that said drink plenty and hope for the best! Good hygiene is all you can do, your list is was OTT and potentially offensive.

Lueji · 24/12/2012 14:30

Cuddles and mouth kissing should be fine.

The bathroom should be the main origin of infection, so wash towels with a bit of bleach and handles regularly.
Also disinfect the toilet itself daily. Preferable if she does it after each use. And handwash thoroughly.

I get the paranoia.
DS gets sick several times during the night and the amount o washing to be done is amazing.

Acky123 · 24/12/2012 14:37

It's more than good hand hygiene - you can get the virus is using a toilet after somebody has been ill (particles in the air) or by cleaning up sick/poo.

Separate toilets is sensible - you can be shedding the virus for weeks after, even if she's no longer got the runs.

Not eating the dish she prepared - also very sensible. NHS recommend people don't prepare food while they are ill.

I can also see why you don't want them to get too close to her, as difficult as that is going to be.

I don't think you're being OTT at all. I've had norovirus and it's knocked me about for two weeks. Just grateful it's gone in time for Christmas.

bollywoodfan · 24/12/2012 14:38

I had this a few weeks ago and I would not wish it on anyone - hopefully she will feel the same and be happy to follow some precautions. If the dish is cold then I would not use it but if it is going to be eaten hot then should be OK? I think using a different bathroom is a good idea. I would let kids cuddle her on xmas morning though (also another day will have passed).

longjane · 24/12/2012 14:54

having own toilet is the best thing
this is how i have stop my kids/husband getting off me in the past

and the no cooking/cleaning thing

i have got the virus a couple of times from toilets

the rest i would let go

lovelyladuree · 24/12/2012 14:59

Are you the woman I saw shopping with a germ mask on the other day?

Wishfulmakeupping · 24/12/2012 15:05

I don't think this is unreasonable at all, stick to your guns and the rules

whatdoithinknow · 24/12/2012 15:09

Feeling quite down about this myself. I have a newborn baby and people think its ok to visit a day or two afta spewing their gut's up all nite with some bug or other. Why aren't they more considerate?

naturalbaby · 24/12/2012 15:10

Just make sure everyone washes their hands thoroughly and properly.
If you doubt their hand washing abilities then quarantine them as you've planned above.

OneHandFlapping · 24/12/2012 15:12
Original poster
Ninetyninepercent · 24/12/2012 15:31

Thanks for all your messages.

Well....she's here and actually my list is definitely going to be put into action. I was rethinking it all after your comments. But unfortunately she mentioned that she also has had diarrhoa yesterday and this morning. She didn't mention it on the phone, but then she only spoke to DH about it and probably didn't really want to speak to him about it. She wasn't trying to cover it up and it just hadn't occurred to her that it was symptom free from sickness and diarrhoea for 48h. So she's not at all symptom free and basically still highly infectious.

She offered to leave straight away, but tbh she's here now and it would make me so sad to make her leave and think of her spending Christmas on her own. I actually had to persuade her not to go as she would really, really hate to give it to the kids. But I am going to be extra vilgilant (as will she) and will hope for the best. It would also be awful if she went off home and we all felt miserable about it, and then we caught it next week from going to the shops or something!

OP posts:
kerstina · 24/12/2012 15:33

YANBU I would be the same and a bit anxious about it but I would say have a chat with her about it when she arrives be honest and tell her you are a bit paranoid about getting noroviruses would she mind following a few precautions. Make it lighthearted and ask her if she has any suggestions herself. I would not stop the cuddling or any interactions with the children though and find other ways to let her know that her prescence is very much welcome.

Badgersnatch · 24/12/2012 17:38

What? She should have stayed home. DH, DS1 and DS2 came down with noro on Christmas eve last year. I got it a 3am Christmas day. I couldn't get out of bed on Christmas day apart from to the loo because I was dizzy, drowsy and aching - I couldn't bear to be touched. We were all ill until the start of January and it was a horrible experience. I wish you luck OP. if there's a corner shop open nearby you should get in loo roll, kitchen roll and disinfectant.

InNeedOfBrandyButter · 24/12/2012 18:00

OP you are very brave and lovely I couldn't do this

Her only having her own bathroom is the way forward! Really really really important IMO. Bleach based cleaning not anti bac or dettol stuff you need bleach

I would just be very very big on dc hand washing before eating an no hands in the mouth, keep her away from food prep and don't let dc drink out her cup or anything. I'm lying I wouldnt of had her there in the first place

I hope you'll all have a great Christmas

Merrycuckingfistmas · 24/12/2012 18:13

My mil came down with it through the night we are supposed to be there for dinner tomorrow, with 8 month old do you think we should stay away?

Oh had it last week, fil and uncle are I house with mil but haven't come down with it yet, ah I am so paranoid me and dd will get it.

Sorry to thread hijack.

Original poster
Ninetyninepercent · 24/12/2012 19:02

Merrycucking.....I would definitely not be going in your situation.

OP posts:
Wishfulmakeupping · 24/12/2012 19:29

Agree with ninety I wouldn't be going either

Merrycuckingfistmas · 24/12/2012 20:09

I don't want to go, oh says we will be ok if mil stays upstairs, he wants to cook so the food doesn't go to waste.

I said I definately won't be going if fil or uncle come down with it.

itsallinthememories · 24/12/2012 21:17

you are being ridiculous. I had a child hospitalised with norovirus a couple of years ago. The moment he was 48 hours free he was allowed on to the ward and to mix freely. He was incredibly ill, I now have severe paranoia about any kind of sickness but still feel that 48 hours is fine.

alistron1 · 24/12/2012 21:42

I work in a school that closed last week due to norovirus. I was surrounded by ill kids, cleaned up copious amounts of vomit wychbold. I didn't come down with it - I think due to lots of hand washing on my part. If your MIL has been symptom free for 48 hours you'll be fine.

Inertia · 24/12/2012 21:54

As she is clearly still ill, then yanbu to take precautions. Don't let her prepare food, and her own bathroom ( clean with bleach ) is a good idea. Also the rest of you should be really scrupulous about hand washing, especially before eating. Don't eat the food she made.

tiggytape · 24/12/2012 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProudAS · 24/12/2012 23:49

Give yourself a pat on the back 99. Poor woman shouldn't be alone at Christmas even if she is contagious.

Perhaps houses should be fitted with two toilets as standard for such eventualities.

Alistron's example shows how effective hand washing can be so get scrubbing.