Night Feeds

[Roopoo]

Right here goes
Ds is 8 weeks old and wakes at approx 3am and 5.30am for feeds after a last feed at 11pm.
Myself and DH do the 11pm feed and then all go upto bed.
Our house is pretty small so when DS wakes for his night feeds I hold him with dummy in (him not me) DH makes bottle and I feed him. This usually ensures that DD doesnt wake up as she is a light sleeper.

My family think that I should be letting DH sleep through and taking DS downstairs for a feed when he wakes and bring him back up when settled.

DH works full time and I do appreciate he must be shattered.

When I spoke to him he said that he sees what I do looking after DS as a full time job and thinks it only fair that we both do nightfeeds.

I think he also worries that if he doesnt help pnd might come back as I had it badly with DD

Just wanted general opinions on this... Am I being a total cow?
Should I be ensuring he sleeps through...
My DH is a really lovely man and I dont want to think I am taking the piss out of him...,

If it works for your family then carry on.

I used to take dd in her own room so dp could sleep in peace (v early starts dangerous job etc). He would do the same for me at weekends so I could sleep.

Just ignore the people sticking their noses in.

Should share night feeds yeah, but probably not est to both be up at the same time. Can't you take one feed each?

Though if you and your DH are happy with the setup, fuck anyone else's opinion.

Could you take it in turns, so you aren't both up for ages every night? And maybe use ready made formula in cartons for the night feeds and get a bottle warmer for the bedroom, so you can make bottles up very quickly without having to traipse downstairs?

I bf DD and DH has a long commute to work by car, so it made sense for us that I did all the night waking whilst DH slept in the spare room, then at weekends he would get up early and take her out in the pram to give me a bit of peace. If she had been willing to accept a bottle I would have been delighted with one night a month week of full uninterrupted sleep.

If it works for both of you then it's nobody else's beeswax what you do, but if you want to let your DH get some sleep then taking it in turns so you do more in the week and he takes over at weekends might be worth considering.

I dont think it takes 2 to do each feed, could you not do one each? With dd I used to take her downstairs to feed but with ds I fed him in the bed as it was warmer (both were bottle fed)

Good points
No think it is probably silly us both getting up for each feed...

Agree that you could take turns but I have never understood the line that just because someone is going out to work that they are more entitled to decent sleep. Looking after a baby is no less hard work than going out to a 'proper' job, in fact IMHO looking after a baby is much harder! It is great that your DH is so willing to help so as others have suggested, have bottles ready to go and take turns so you both get a bit more sleep.

My DH and I share night feeds, even when dh has work, as in his words 'I work a more than full time job as well'. We each sleep when its the others turn, so we both get some sleep.

I would do the the 3ish feed so both of you get some decent sleep.

I think it is lovely that he wants to get up with you!

Do what suits you, not what anybody else thinks you should be doing!

Im all for sharing the load but i really cant see why you both need to so every feed.

I think it would be equally fair for one of you to do the 11pm and 5.30 feed, and the other to go to bed earlier and do the 3ish one.... at least then you both get a decent chunk of sleep

but saying that its what works for you and your family, and if you are both happy then its none of anyone else's buisness

Thanks
I was expecting a slating so feel slightly better about it now!
I know im lucky to have such a brill DH.

I think your family need to keep their opinions out of your bedroom!

i can't see why you shouldn't both do it. your way is the best way for you, and everyone else can butt out. i like your way.

God i wouldn't listen to your family! IMO taking a turn every other night is the best plan as it means each of you get a proper nights sleep every 48 hours. Having each of you up every night is far more knackering and I say this after 8 months of night waking! Personally I'd also beware of running in too quick. My toddler never woke once in the night with an often crying baby. The only reason I say it is that it's a really good idea to encourage then to settle back to sleep and not think that every cry will mean mummy runs in. Obviously if it lasts longer than 5 minutes or so i would go in but you might be surprised...

It is soooooooo not anyone else's business! That said, I do think both of you getting up to do what's essentially one person's job is making it harder than it needs to be. But it's not my business either

No ones business but your own!!

We always took turns so at least we both, regulary had longer stretches of sleep.

You know your family & at the end of the day,whatever works for you,do it!

It's up to you and your DH, nobody else. Sometimes me and DH find the night feeds easier together, not often, but when DS has been teething I have been so grateful of some company during those long nights, even if DH just pops in to say he heard DS crying and do I want a hand?Otherwise we share nightfeeds between us. I don't know which brand of formula you are using but we bought big bottles of pre mixed formula to keep in the fridge, they could be kept for 48 hours in the fridge, and used those overnight. I think most brands do them