Feeding to sleep - sharing the load

[melonribena]

After his bath I feed our 5 month old ds to sleep. It usually takes about half an hour and then I pop him in his cot and go back downstairs.

During this time my partner relaxes on the sofa. When I go back downstairs I usually have to do jobs like unload the dishwasher or sort the washing and always get us both a drink.

I do all the night feeds as well. Am I being unreasonable to think my partner might have a drink and snack waiting for me when I come down or might have done some of the little jobs as well?

YANBU - tell him to get off his sorry arse & help.

YANBU. My DH cooks dinner while I'm feeding DS (14 mo)to sleep.

Yanbu. We have the same bedtime routine and we take turns and whoever is downstairs tidies up and makes a tea.

DH cooks and tidies while I'm putting DD1 to bed. YANBU.

Thank you! I was feeling like I was! I've just come back down and requested a drink!
I've also left the dishwasher!

No, but you need to tell him to do this. A simple 'hey can you unload the dishwasher, sort the washing, whatever while I get ds to sleep?' We had this with my partner as well. If you are clear and your partner is not a dick he'll get it sussed. It gets more equal as they get older (again, if you are clear, etc).

DH works shifts, but when he's at home at bedtime he brings DS upstairs and undresses him whilst I run his bath and sort out pyjamas etc and then he leaves us to it for wind-down, bath and bf at bedtime. He goes downstairs and clears up the kitchen and starts to cook dinner. Every night. YANBU.

No, YANBU. IF my DP is at home & he gets down before me (he puts our DD1 to bed while I do DD2) I fully expect the decks to be clear. When he was knackered & stressed at work he would come down & lounge on the sofa, & I would come down & fume. Not fair.

Tell him to do job XYZ while you're upstairs. Thats what I do.

Pretty simple really.

I certainly don't 'tell' my husband to do jobs but he pulls his weight because he is an adult and not a selfish tool. Nip this in the bud right now!

After too many disagreements in our house it is a hard and fast rule that one person puts dd to bed while the other does the washing up and feeds the animals. Then we can spend the remainder of the night together.