To think you should rsvp to a wedding invitation email?

[Spuddybean]

DP and i have had to bring our wedding forward to Jan. So about 4 weeks ago DP emailed all his friends (we don't have their addresses and thought email would be easier) inviting them. But to date only 1 has replied.

The wedding is now in less than 2 weeks. We know it's short notice and close to xmas, so didn't expect them all (or even many) to be able to come. But we would expect them to at least answer and say thanks but no thanks.

We were planning on doing a bigger summer reception for everyone, as we thought most would not be able to come. But now i am reluctant as i think a) they wont bother even answering or coming and b) i don't want to bother spending money on people who can't be arsed to even answer an invitation politely.

I am really pissed off and DP is really upset. His parents aren't coming and only 1 friend will be there. So there will only be my parents and a few family friends of mine.

Also as no one has rsvp'd there is a chance some may just turn up - which we wont have catered for.

We are only having a pub do. But were planning to hire a nanny to look after ds for the evening so we could spend time with guests, however, we don't know if it's worth it if no fucker is coming.

I also don't want to chase people as i am now so cross I don't want to seem like we are begging them to come AARRRRGGH

So what should we do and aibu to be annoyed?

I've never heard of wedding invites by e-mail, OP. Always Royal Mail. I'd reply to an e-mail though.

Spuddy, I don't understand a lot of these responses. I would always answer unless it was something like a big group meeting for drinks in a pub, in which case it wouldn't make any difference. Ring them. I suspect they've got distracted by Christmas, and will be mortified.

I''d call round now to confirm the date etc. Seems a bit rude not to respond even if it is face ache.

Yes Lying, i'd much rather have done that but DP doesn't know anyones address and we were rushing with just 6 weeks notice, so thought an email would be better.

ANYWAY - Thanks to your instigation i have just forced DP to show me facebook and there emerges loads of responses which the utter prat has not noticed sitting there.

SO 10 people have confirmed, everyone else has said congrats and they'll let me know.

I am relieved and irritated i am marrying such a fuckwit!

Thank you everyone for the help. Seriously tho - what a cock! he's been moping about the place saying no one likes us!

Call round - it's a busy time of year, it's the sort of thing where someone would think, "oh wow, 5th January, not sure if we're free, will check with DW/DP and let MrSpuddy know." then Christmas shopping/parties/PIL negotiations/NYE plans all get in the way. You've not given them a deadline to respond so they will at some point... then not quite get round to it...

If you've got someone on the phone they can say "oh yes, we can make it" or "Not sure, need to check with DW who's out right now, when do you need to know by?"

Yes give them a chance first (ring them), then if they still appear to be rude just ignore them and have a great time.

And Congratulations

oh x posts! So your DP is a bit of an idiot, but with nice friends!

Facebook is always playing up.

I get text message saying did you get my message on Facebook ( just coffee mornings ect) and I haven't got the notification

Op I feel your pain.

Some people are just rude and ignorant. You should not have to be explicitly told in an invite that you need to let the hosts know if you are coming or not, it should be bloody obvious they need to know unless it's just going down the pub one night, come of you are around.

For my daughter's naming I sent lovely posted invites with a request to RSVP, all good friends I thought. Still ended up chasing five people who just couldntnbe arsed to send a text or email, and it does matter when you are spending £20 a head on food and drink. I am not in contact with those people any more as it annoyed and upset me so much. Funnily enough they all did want to come.

But the fact that only oneperson has replied to you does make me worry that the message didn't get through. I found a weird sub folder in my Facebook messages last week which contained a message from someone in July! Who must now think I am very rude.

I agree you should now try phoning, just on case something has gone wrong.

We sent our wedding invitations by email (i.e. time, location, directions etc), but before that we had chatted with all the guests informally, either by phone or individual email to check if the date was OK for them etc.

Are these people you normally communicate with by email, i.e. you know they'd be checking it regularly. Personally I check mine all the time (it's on my phone) but not everyone does, and sometimes people change email addresses so you could have an outdated one that they rarely use anymore.

(though actually looking at your later post, it seems like it's mostly your DP's fault :))

Your DP is a bit of a doilly!

Glad it's not as bad as you feared.

People not RSVPing events is my biggest gripe.

For our wedding we had so many people who didn't bother to let us know if they were coming, one friend even had the cheek to say "she might pop by". I'm usually quite chilled out, but in this case I needed to order the right amount of food and booze. It's so annoying. I wish I had been more proactive chasing people up about it. I ended up hugely over-ordering and we filled our chest freezer with all the leftovers!

you need to get your d p to look in messages, then in 'others'. all my messages end up in there for some reason.