In laws drinking whilst looking after baby

[franbella5]

My FIL has just brought my 16 m.o. DD back. He says that he has drunk two beers and then driven her home. DD has not napped enough, probably just a fifteen minute car ride to where they were going and looks poorly. FIL says that they have been at a relatives Christmas party for pretty much the whole day; 10am-4pm.

We rarely drink, and certainly not when driving. FIL and MIL are bid drinkers and prone to lying about how much they have drunk. AIBU to think that this is not acceptable.

I would be cool with them having just one small drink ie little bottle of beer or small glass of wine.

But you cannot trust them to do that nor can you trust them to be honest with you so why on earth do you leave your child with them?

Also would be a bit pissed off at them if they had not tried to settle DD for a nap at some point as it seems like she needed one. Should have popped her in the buggy for a walk/nap or had a lie down with her IMHO.

Please can we differentiate between having a couple of beers/glasses of wine - and being in a state where you can't make a sober decision or get up to make your kids some toast the next day.

Really - the hysteria from some people about very small amounts of alcohol is absurd.

Knowing they are drinkers, you made the decision to still ask them to babysit.

Drinking whilst looking after children and especially driving is not something we do. We have a very odd drink but only one of us. Alcohol affects people in different ways, some can hande a lot others just a glass.

I'm in the 'can only handle two glasses category'

Lol hence my parents will be babysitting on the rare occassion I do have a few!

Yanbu. Never again.

The babysitter drinking two beers wouldn't bother me.

Drinking two beers and driving my baby anywhere would bother me a lot.

not acceptable.

We have a 19mo DD and have just shared a bottle of red with dinner- fine. 2 beers then driving- questionable (depends strength of beer and time elapsed before drive), especially with a baby in the car.

I agree Ali, I have had drinks plenty of times but never been in a position I am uncapable of looking after my son.

There seems to be a few issues here

• drinking - as long as they aren't pissed then fine
• napping - meh, sometimes they don't nap enough espeically when in strange surroundings
• driving - Drink driving is a big no no.

I do agree with the posters who questioned why you let them babysit when you know they tend to lie about drinking and drink more than you are comfy with. Especially a few days before christmas!

Thank you for all your replies. DH and I are both upset by what's happened and he's going to speak with them. I think it has come as a shock as whilst their drinking has been problematic before, it has never been when they have been with DD. We thought that they understood that this is not on. Previously, we have told them that they should not drink whilst looking after DD and driving, so didn't think it would happen. We too don't think that having some alcohol should be criminalised and hidden from DD, but there's a time and a place.

Drinking and child minding not a problem unless you specified otherwise,
Drinking and driving (irrespective as to what type of humans are in the car,or importantly on /near the road at the time I can't believe there are people who say "oh no not if my / a child was it the car" what about the rest of us) a problem
You deciding not to state the boundaries and let them care for DC knowing the possible problems, your problem learn from it.

I will happily have a small drink when my own kids are in bed, though like cantbelieve, I prefer either DH or I to be sober. I would not be happy about someone else babysitting my kids and drinking. I freely admit I have issues around alcohol stemming from an incident in my childhood, it's a gut response not a logical one, but I just wouldn't like it.

Drink driving - absolutely no way. My FIL got behind the wheel drunk with me in the car when I was pregnant with dd. for this reason I have never allowed him or mil to drive the kids anywhere, because I don't trust him to be sober or her to insist on taking the wheel.

I think your post that states they can underplay the amount they've had to drink gives you the answer you already know- no more babysitting. This way it won't happen again and to be honest it is wrong.