AIBU to feel insulted when people assume I'm foreign?!

[SavageCarrot]

I live in an area of London with a large population of Asians and other ethnic groups.
My father is full white English and my mum is half white English and half carribean.
I went to my GP last week for an athsma review and the nurse was waiting for me with a translator! I asked her why and she said that on my records it was stated that I couldn't speak English and needed an interpreter! For fuck sake... I've been at that surgery for 8 years and they hadn't noticed that I speak English perfectly well?
Then, when I went to collect my son from school last Thursday, his teacher asked me if I could make pakoras. I was like ' Er.... I'm not sure what they are'
So she said ' Oh, I thought they were popular in your country!'
Why do I bother filling in all these forms and ticking boxes regarding ethnicity and language if no one bothers to read them.
The joke of it is, my husband is Asian and he thinks its hilarious.

People are always assuming I'm Spanish or Greek (I'm British-born with Irish parents ) and are astonished when they hear me speak. Just one of those things. I'm not offended by it.

The GP/translator thing sounds like an administrative error, maybe they got you mixed up with someone else with the same name? I really doubt it is because you look 'Asian', do you really think they have translators waiting for every non-white patient?

People think I'm British, but I haven't got a British (Isles) gene in my body

My son who is bi-racial has been asked if he comes from Brazil and numerous other countries going all the way to Indonesia! (neither).

I don't get upset about it, just laugh and pleasantly explain our background. People are usually just curious, and fascinated.

I know it can be frustrating when people make assumptions. But better just to let it wash over you.

Funniest of the lot is when out with my gay friend and you can see people thinking "Oh, how sweet, they adopted a child" LOL!

If the surgery has made other mistakes too then i would be a bit concerned about their data. I mean in a 'what else did they miss about me?' way.

But i would be happy that they have a translator for those who do need it.

Clearly all these people are bending over backwards to respect and respond to a set of cultural differences you don't in fact have. So they are doing their best, in a well-intentioned way, to be right-on and pluralistic.

I think your reaction (while unreasonable on the face of it) points to something people don't often want to acknowledge, which is how reductive and condescending a lot of well-meaning attempts at 'respecting diversity' can be.

People often assume I'm Italian. For some reason it really annoys me, even though I would love to be Italian. I get fed up of explaining to people that I really, honestly don't have any Italian grandparents. I worked with someone for a few weeks recently, and just as she was leaving she asked if I was Italian. Apparently she thought I would announce it at some point. Why would I announce my heritage at all?

A colleague of mine kept asking me what religion DH was. For some reason she didn't believe he was Catholic. Turns out she had seen him through a restaurant window, when he was in his car and it was dark, and decided he was Asian. He is pasty white, and I use his Irish surname.

And there are quite a few people who attend our Catholic church, so just shows how much she knows!

And to be fair its was stated on your records that you couldn't speak English, so I'm assuming that's a fault on your behalf?

At my GP I very much doubt they would have a translator in so I'm assuming that the surgery you go to is quite big and has a large number of patients.

So even though you have been going for 8 years, you might not have been going frequently and with the number of patients it's not unreasonable to think they wouldn't remember every single detail about you.

YABU.

Im Eastern European ( been living in this country half of my life now( and it annoys me when some people say " are you Scandinavian " ( Im tall with blue eyes/blonde hair apparently look swedish). so when i say no Im ...they go oh like Im someone worse!
Or some people would say ' I love your hair' and they would touch they hair and speak out very slowly nearly spelling it....
It makes me laugh though...so you are not alone.

yanbu, especially re:interpreter, it's a waste of NHS resources. it's unlikely the surgery would have it's own translator, most likely it's a private company who would supply a translator for the appointment duration. Out of interest, what language did they think you speak?

I am British and have a very English sounding name and surname. My son is half Turkish with a Turkish name and surname. At about a month old I had to take him to have his BCG vaccine as we were going to travel to Turkey. After driving an hour to get to the hospital and getting to the TB clinic the nurse and Asian translator looked at me sheepishly and asked if I had not got the message that they had ran out of vaccine? As I had left home over an hour earlier no I had not, but returned home to find an answerphone message from the hospital left in Urdu! It is particularly asian area but still I find the assumption that anyone who needs to go to the TB clinic must speak Urdu and not understand any English somewhat puzzling.

Forbidden fruit..

I agree they wouldn't 'remember' me but the nurse who saw me for the first time had my details up on the screen, which every doc or nurse has done when I have seen one.

I would be very surprised if it was my error as I would have needed to have ticked two or three boxes incorrectly. When the nurse showed me the screen, it said I was Bangladeshi, first language was Bengali and that I needed a translator.

You are just over thinking it to be honest - we live in very mixed society and everyone of every colour need to just chill and assume stuff is just a fuck up unless directly and obviously insulted/descriminated against when they should then apeshit.

So perhaps they got your notes mixed up with someone elses?

It really wouldn't bother me.

LOL! Maybe they did.

I just wonder if there is a poor old Asian lady sitting in silence while the doc rambles on about bunions, thinking that she is me, and she hasn't got a clue was he is on about.

Thanks for the opinions guys

^So perhaps they got your notes mixed up with someone elses?

It really wouldn't bother me.^

That would seriously bother me! We go to the surgery to have our own treatment not somebody else's. Mixing up notes could have huge consequences.

• thinking you are getting better when you are getting worse
• changing prescriptions to give you drugs you dont take

YANBU

Regarding the teacher, assumptions are offensive. It would be like a teacher asking my DH if he makes haggis because he has red hair!

Savage it just sounds like they have mixed up your records. It'll be much more annoying for the Bengali speaker needing urgent help from the dr who cannot communicate....

I'm white English. My parents are white English. My grandparents are all white English. I do have quite unusual colouriing for a Brit though (very dark brown eyes, slightly olive skin). I've been mistaken for Jewish (that'll be the big nose then), French and various other things. It's never occurred to me that it should bother me.

It's definitely not great if they're getting records mixed up. But nor is it a personal insult, as the OP seems to feel.

The other day I went out to lunch with some people, one of whom was an eastern European colleague. She has a strong accent, but has no difficulty speaking or understanding English, even quite quirky idioms and complicated vocabulary. She now has a British passport.

One of the other people there started to speak to her in that way people speak to "furriners", slowly and a bit loudly. Fortunately, I had an opportunity to discretely point out to him that this was unnecessary, before it became too embarrassing.

Really?

How nice of you to join MN to share this in your first post.

I am half Asian and a similar thing happened to me, I wrote to a consultant about something and in his reply he asked that I bring the same translator as before!! , I have never brought a translator, I can speak English perfectly well!! ha ha. He later said he had just got me confused with a foreign girl. Didn't bother me, we are all equal. I look like a person from another country and that is o.k.! (quite like it tbh)!.

I'm bitsa English. For some odd reason I'm always mistaken as Spanish. I always end up slightly blushing as I WISH I was exotic/sultry, I just hold a tan a while..... Makes me feel a total fraud I think it's a compliment dunno why really but I always take it that wAy

Weirdly lots of people have assumed I'm French over the years. have no idea why. I have an O level in French but that's it

LaCiccolina I agree!!

when I was in portugal on holiday the locals thought I was Portugese. I used to also be mistaken for being from Barbados, Guyana, Trinidad, Mauritius, now I wear scarf I get mistaken for being Bengali, Somalian, Kenyan, I am none of these things, why would it bother me?