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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that this does not count as over Christmas

16 replies

CurtainsForNow · 23/12/2012 16:21

A while ago I spoke to DB to try to work out when we could meet up "over Christmas". He said that he needed to consult with SIL, who apparently manages their family diary. I advised him that (at the time) we had no definite plans after the 22nd on any day apart from Christmas Day and the 27th so could pretty much fit round them.

Today I chased him up as he'd not got back to me. I was "advised" that SIL had very efficiently allocated us a slot on either 3rd or 7th January so were welcome to choose between them. And that they had no other days free before the DC go back to school. As I go back to work on 2nd January, neither of these days are any good for us. DB is pssed off because I said I was free on "any" day. I'm pssed off because I figure that most people would realise that the 3rd and 7th were normal working days and that in any case DB might have prioritised his only sibling to a date a bit closer to Christmas.

Who is BU?

OP posts:

SantaWearsGreen · 23/12/2012 16:24

They are.

Over Christmas imo is between 24th and 1st.

LoopsInHoops · 23/12/2012 16:25

Agree with Santa. (who doesn't? )

TeamBacon · 23/12/2012 16:28

Yep, this year Christmas is from Christmas eve up to 1st Jan. Most people are back at work on the 2nd!

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 23/12/2012 16:30

i think you need to chill out tbh. so you cant see each other, ring have a long chat, wish him and family a merry xmas and happy new year and hope to see him in the not too distant future. it seems neither of you are too concerned about seeing each other or it would have happened.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife · 23/12/2012 16:31

Well I guess up until the 6th is still Christmas, but many people will be back in work by the 3rd and everyone will be back to normal by the 7th.

"Over Christmas" means during Christmas week, not in January.

meditrina · 23/12/2012 16:34

Over Christmas is from 24 December to 6th January (Epiphany), so I think SIL's offer of 3rd is normal for over Christmas. Perhaps you could have been clearer that your version of Christmas is shorter than the traditional 12 days? (At least you know the difference in opinion exists and can be more specific in future years).

I do agree that 7th is too late, and odd for being a weekday when most school are back.

EverythingsDozy · 23/12/2012 16:34

You are available any day over Christmas, not any day over the year...
You might as well reschedule for July!!

Yama · 23/12/2012 16:36

YANBU

And why couldn't your brother have arranged something and put it on the calendar himself?

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 23/12/2012 16:37

and if they are offering the 3rd or 7th as dates this clearly means they have no free dates 'over xmas' so you wouldn't be seeing them anyway 'over xmas'.

clam · 23/12/2012 16:41

If you had this original conversation a while ago, I think it's clear how highly you figure on their list of priorities.

Original poster

CurtainsForNow · 23/12/2012 16:46

When I originally spoke to DB he gave the impression that they were mostly free too but would just have to check with SIL. Unfortunately the misunderstanding of when we were free has meant they've now booked in "other things" for the days that we would have been available.

DB is self employed and a workaholic. I didn't specify the dates exactly because in the past SIL has had to beg him to take off the week between Christmas and New Year (generally he ends up working a lot of it). It's totally unheard of for him to be available so "late" in January!

OP posts:

BackforGood · 23/12/2012 16:47

Well YAbothBabitU
I would always consider 'over Christmas' to be the school holidays, so I'm with your Brother / SiL in terms of dates.
The song gives us the 12 days of Christmas.
Epiphany goes up to the 6th January.
I think certain orthodox Christians celebrate into January too.
You have until '12th night' to get your decorations down.

It seems the evidence is overwhelming in terms of Christmas lasting up until about 6th Jan then.

I mean, some poor people will be back in work on Boxing Day, and others will be back on 27th, so it's difficult to generalise about other people's working patterns so widely.

Why not just phone / e-mail and say, 'Can't do the 3rd, what about... and suggest a couple of weekend dates' rather than getting all worked up.

Phineyj · 23/12/2012 16:51

Next time ring your SIL directly?

Original poster

CurtainsForNow · 23/12/2012 16:51

clam that's the point really. I think DB should have sorted out with SIL a date we could visit and let us know a lot earlier. Clearly he's not that fussed. Due to him being a workaholic (see previous post) he tends not to be available at weekends - some years Christmas is the only time we do see him, hence (again) you'd think he'd make a bit of effort. He's already said that if we can't make January he's not sure when he will be free next (apparently he has a lot of work on in the New Year ).

OP posts:

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 23/12/2012 16:54

he doesn't place the same importance on seeing you as you do on seeing him. he has different priorities. in your shoes i wouldn't be using up my energy getting peeved about this. he clearly isn't. relax and enjoy your xmas, people who think you are important to them will make sure they see you or at least get in touch, anyone who doesn't isn't worth stressing over.

SantasENormaSnob · 23/12/2012 16:58

I think they are just not arsed about seeing you.

They are just seeing as a duty visit.

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