Need some perspective on an argument please.

[Tak3n]

Hello

I need some honest advice as it may be me being unreasonable.

So OH goes out last night with work mates, even though he had a university assignment due today...

I was promised by OH he would not be late, which to be fair he was not 10pm ish.

The problem started when He came in pissed, having left his bike at the bar, came in sat down and was slurring away about how I burst his fun when I pointed out they had an assignment due...

So I went to bed, got up this morning with DS, about 10am I get a email from upstairs saying can I taks DS out for the day so he can do his assignment!!!

And He will come down stairs when we have left!!

Well it was suppose to be done the previous night, when I replied as such, I got a email stating that He had worked on it all night, and still needed to do more...

Now (this is the bit that has caused a real issue) smelling a rat. I logged into to his work email ( I know his password) to see constant emails between him and his mates about every 2 mins for four hours Which meant that he had not done any work and had spent all night talking about their night out with his mates.

So I admit I was pissed and confronted him. And all I got was a slurry of abuse about logging into his work email!!

No apology, no admitting he lied etc etc

So am I in the wrong here?

You are in the wrong here, sorry. Checking up on his work email. TBF he is in the wrong too for lying to you. 6 of one and all that. He's been a bit of a cock and will cover that up by being outraged about you reading his work emails. Which you gave him ammo to do.

He is being a procrastinating twit but bottom line is he is hungover and on a deadline. Forget the emails kiss and make up it is nearly Christmas!

It's an unusual time for a University assignment to have to be handed in isn't it? How long has he know about it for? Leaving it to the last minute doesn't make him sound that serious about it.

I don't have any objections to a bit of poking about if you suspect your DH of being up to something with another woman, or if they're a gambler, having a look whether they're up to no good, but rifling about on the computer to prove your point that he wasn't doing what he said he was doing is a bit petty.

I wouldn't want DH micro-managing my time for me, if I work on an essay I'll do it without any prompting, if I want to chat to someone over fb or MSN, that's my decision to make.

It does make you sound a bit like you're treating him as a child, checking he's doing his homework.

How does your relationship usually work?

I only nag him Leverette as we spent nearly 2k on this course that we could Not afford but he said it was really important to him.....

So yeah I guess I push him on it

I thought the same it sounds like you are his mum! I can understand your frustration though but YABU for checking his email

You are both as wrong as each other.

I don't blame you at all for checking up on him seeing that this course has come at a huge cost to you as a family. But then I tend to mother my DH too - though not half as much as I used to.

It is up to him to get his assignment done. Maybe you should not have checked his emails. Then again, he should grow up, too.

Leave it to him to get his work done.