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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this level of selfishness at work over Christmas really upsetting?

69 replies

hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 19:45

I work in a care home, so, obviously we provide care every day of the year.

Some members of staff make it their quest to have Christmas off every single year Hmm

One nurse goes on the sick mid November until beginning of January - every bloody year Shock

Another one uses the fact that she has grandchildren to get out of doing extra shifts to help out.

Several care assistants throw a wobbly about having to work Christmas and nag and argue all over the entire holiday.

One of them on days refuses to come in at all (because she has a large, extended family).

One of the nightshift carers also refuses to come in.

Another of them is the manager's favourite and never works Christmas either.

I'm the only one of the nursing/care staff that has children. The others are either older and have grandchildren or don't have children at all. I don't want extra time off or favours because I have children, but I do feel really angry about it because I do loads to help out and my kids are only young for a short time Sad

I'm having to work Boxing Day as an extra this year because Little Miss Cow Skiver is on the sick again and only some of us will cover extra shifts because we are decent people..............the rest are just selfish hags and I hope they all choke on their turkey Angry

OP posts:
Fakebook · 22/12/2012 20:02

YABU. I don't think it's selfish at all. How is it selfish to want to spend Christmas with your loved ones at home? It's bad management IMO. If they know that people will want time off then they should give that work to people who are happy to work through Christmas. Staff shouldn't have to skive if things are planned nicely. If that means hiring people from outside for a few days then so be it. I think it's unfair to call care workers who work hard all year selfish just because of what they do at Christmas time.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:04

SantasENormaSnob the nurse in question only works one night a week as she has an NHS position, so she could leave quite easily if she wanted to. I don't think the manager wants to upset her because nurses are hard to come by. We've already had three nurses start, then leave soon after and we lost the full time nightnurse a while ago, so the situation isn't stable.

OP posts:
SantasENormaSnob · 22/12/2012 20:05

I am nhs and ringing in sick at Christmas is a massive deal.

Can't imagine colleagues or managers putting up with someone doing it year in year out tbh.

MammaTJ · 22/12/2012 20:05

The way to avoid this is to have good bosses. Our bosses really are wonderful, I have never had better, and never will once I leave to go to uni next year.

They are supportive but very firm. They have high standards and if people don't meet those standards they are given a couple of opportunities to improve and then out the door! So, the staff they have are good (yes, blowing my own trumpet in a way) and committed.

The wages are not great, but the work is not too hard, residential rather than nursing. They are good and let us have a sub if we are skint!! They try to accomodate any problems and are always available to discuss issues.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:07

Fakebook these people took this job on knowing that Christmas has to be covered. If they want Christmas off so desperately, they should work in an office or something. I don't mind working Christmas if it's shared out fairly.

OP posts:
NilentSight · 22/12/2012 20:07

YANBU. You know the score when you sign up for the job. It's 24/7, 365 days a year. Your management sound particularly crap. Sad

'Hire people from outside for a few days' - Yes - because it would be completely fair on elderly, vulnerable residents to have a few random strangers wheeled in over the festive period Hmm

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 22/12/2012 20:07

Where I used to work you worked your standard days over Xmas. They may be shorter hours, or asking you to come in earlier so they could close earlier but you still worked it. You could ask your colleagues if they would swap a shift with you but they were under no obligation to swap and you weren't allowed to pressure them into it. You weren't allowed to have holiday leave over the Xmas period.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 22/12/2012 20:15

Hidden what would happen if you said no? Would they get cover to help your FT colleague?

RabbitsMakeGOLDBaubles · 22/12/2012 20:18

I employ my own carers because I found that agency carers and the like so often don't give a crap and if they don't want to turn up they just don't. With no warning or notice, so you sit there the whole time waiting like an idiot, looking forward to having a bath and getting dressed, and they decided they didn't fancy the early morning.

Now I employ my own carers I pick people who are committed and caring, who would let me know they were sick, and who wouldn't just leave me in the lurch. In return I do my very best to be a conscientious boss and give her lots of flexibility and money.

My mum was shocked at the "care" some patients get when they are in wards, never mind homes. She stood up to it and they basically knocked her back, she ended up sick with stress about the whole thing, simply because she didn't want to treat the patient with dementia like a sack of meat, and reported another nurse for swearing at him and actually hitting him.

They need to look at the state of the care system. I can manage to give my carer £7.50 after taxes and such, I wish it was more, she makes my life possible. She has become like family almost. I know if I asked she'd work Christmas Day. But I think she deserves it off.

I am sorry you get taken advantage of OP. I'd say kick up a fuss, but it doesn't always end up the way it should do, on the side of fairness and good practice. So maybe look for another caring job, and then when there is no one to be their whipping boy available when they all fancy time off it'll be highlighted that they are failing at giving care and maybe then something will happen. It's bloody sad that that's how it would probably go too. :(

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:19

The manager would have to do it I suppose TheDoctrine. She's working a 13.5 hour shift on Christmas Day to give me and the deputy the day off.

OP posts:
SantasENormaSnob · 22/12/2012 20:20

Fakebook, there is only one member of staff out of 60 that are happy to work it all.

We are all hcp. We all knew it entailed working our fair share over Xmas and new year.

No one wants to work it but we all do our bit.

Fortunately we have good management that believe in equality.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:25

If everyone does a few short hours with enhanced pay, then everyone will come out happy. It only takes a few people to refuse to work and it means that those who do work have to work longer hours Sad

We don't get enhanced pay for working Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, just Christmas Day and New Years Day.

I'm working a late shift on New Years Eve as I don't go out.

OP posts:
MerylStrop · 22/12/2012 20:27

I'm furious for you, it's completely unfair

Can you make a proper, formal complaint?

And the Manager sounds like a decent sort, doing a long shift but really what needs to happen is they need to get in control of the situation and people who refuse to take a turn or mysteriously get sick to skive a Christmas shift get disciplined. That is what happens in normal workplaces.

Gumby · 22/12/2012 20:30

why have you put up with it for 10 years?

You could have complained log before now

or found different work in that time

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:31

I will complain to the manager.

OP posts:
loho · 22/12/2012 20:33

It was like this in my previous job, generally we worked either christmas or new year, altho if u asked for christmas off you usually had to do christmas eve and boxing day and then the new years holidays awell just to get christmas day off, I'd say definately take it up with your manager, would make a point of phoning her to tell her and not just wait until you next see her, it doesn't sound as if you owe your collegues anything and your manager could be relying on the fact that kind hearted people like you will pick up the slack meaning they never really need to address the issue properly

TheSecondComing · 22/12/2012 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:34

Gumby I haven't been at this particular workplace for 10 years, but at the other places I've always done my fair share over Christmas too. I've been qualified 20 years and it's rare that I get Christmas Day off. The only time I did get it off was when I was on the nursing agency. Since having ds2 I've had to work it.

ds1 goes to see his father every other Christmas and this is my year to have him, so I wanted us to have a nice time.

dh used to take ds2 over to his parents' when they lived in another part of the country, so I used to spend Christmas alone and just go to work.

OP posts:
MustafaCake · 22/12/2012 20:41

What the hell is the manager doing allowing this sort of piss taking at Xmas?

As it's been going on so long I would speak to the staff before Xmas setting out expectations about coming in and working given hours - plus the consequences of not doing so.

Refusing to come in and a pattern of going off sick are issues that are very simple to manage: It's gross misconduct and you just need to follow the disciplinary process.

However given that your manager has a "favourite" who never works xmas, I'd say s/he was a pretty poor manager and unlikely to do anything about the current situation?!

fosterdream · 22/12/2012 20:42

When I worked in a care home before having my DC. I swapped shifts with a friend that was down to work on Xmas and she had young children I worked all through Xmas and had new years off. I felt great about it, she has a lovely family day and I got to go out and get hammered on NY!

I had many colleagues pestering and begging me to swap with them! They had no young children PR grown chikdren, one even said she wanted it off to go see her friends boyfriends DD that she'd never seen before

I will never work over Christmas (24th, 25th or 25th) whilst I have young children. If I was you I would refuse to work. Is the manager working?

MustafaCake · 22/12/2012 20:44

Oops when I said "I would speak to the staff" I meant the manager should speak to the staff, not you (you'd get lynched!)

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:45

yes, the manager is doing a full day on Christmas Day fosterdream

OP posts:
AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow · 22/12/2012 20:49

No, that's just not fair, it should be a turn taking basis at least, and the skiving cow should be pulled up about it!! How does she get away with that beauty every year??!!

I'd be pissed off too :(

Original poster
hiddenhome · 22/12/2012 20:57

I don't know Alien She phones in sick with two hours notice too Sad I don't really think she needs the job tbh. It's just easy money for her. She does a lousy job when she's in anyway.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 22/12/2012 20:58

I lost my mum this year Hidden, she spent the last month of her life in a care home.
I have no words of how much I appreciated the love and care she got.
I wish she'd lasted till now, but can only say that it was people like yourself that made the difference, I knew she was in safe hands.
I do agree that those with young children should have Christmas Day off, the younger people should have NY so they can party.
Your colleagues do sound selfish, and I do think you should bring up all leave issues with your bosses.
But try to remember that the people that you're caring for and their families will remember you as the person that was there for them.
You'll be remembered in Heaven (if I believed in God), but you know what I mean.

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