AIBU to think this vicar is wrong?

[TheWintersTale]

My DH and I are planning to renew our vows in 2013 because our wedding took place abroad in 2011 with only my DH's family present. We had to get married abroad for a variety of reasons, but at the time, we decided that we would have a UK version when the time was right.

So a couple of weeks ago we met with our local vicar to ask about renewing our vows. He was very nice, but basically told us that it should be a short and simple affair, and that he would not want me to have a wedding dress/bridesmaids etc for fear of it looking like a wedding. I was gutted when he said this, because I wanted to be able to get dressed up and have the 'wedding' I never had. I did tell him that I had planned on wearing a wedding dress, but he said that it could look like a sham wedding or something. I get that it might 'look' like that, but who cares? We're legally married!

I know it's not going to be a 'wedding', but why on earth should it matter what I wear etc? AIBU to think that this vicar is just plain wrong? The more I think about it, I can't think of any 'legal' reason to have to abide by a specific dress code etc.

So AIBU??

Just have a party somewhere else, if your wedding was already in a church then is there really any need to have a ceremony? Unless it is a church to which you already go so want to share the day with the rest of the congregation?

tell the vicar to grow up and do one .I don't see why you can't wear your wedding dress.Please find another vicar that gives his blessing don't get married with that cretin.I feel it could be bad luck to get married by a vicar who is a tosser

Well, yes, SpiderCrab, telling the vicar to "do one" would make the Op's day truly memorable...

I find the vicar a little strange. My very devout grandparents had a renewal of vows in their church after they'd been married 50 years and the vicar read out the marriage vows again so it was very like a wedding ceremony. Sure, my 70-something granny didn't wear a big white dress, but then, she didn't when she got married either - it wasn't the norm back then.

I think this vicar is maybe trying to fob you off? I can see his point it might be a bit off to have it in church if you just wanted an excuse to wear a pretty dress and he'd be within his rights to say no to that - but he should just say that and give you a chance to explain whether or not that's what you meant.

I suppose it is also just possible he's worried about the law? I got read the riot act about how priests have to be very careful not to give the impression they've performed a legal marriage when one or both participants aren't in a position for it - if you were married abroad, does one of you need permission from the Home Office to get married?