About someone calling my DD this?

[pleasethanks]

I really don't know if IABU, I may well be, so opinions welcomed please!

My DD is 1.5. I was chatting with my mum and dad about her trying to avoid a nap and my dad said "She can be a little vixen". This is not the first time he has used that word about DD (he has used it several times over her life) and I suppose he uses it in the context of sly, but I really don't know. I asked him to stop as I didn't like that word and he got all huffy.

So, AIBU? I may well be....

I wouldn't be too bothered. I don't think he meant it as in sly, more 'feisty' possibly.

But if you don't like it that's ok, and he knows now.

YABU. Unless he shouted it in a rage It's not usually said with malice.

I would lump it in with minx/monkey/monster, all meant with warmth and affection as pet names.

Like Sparkling says, it's a nod to their spirit and you're saying you like them having their own mind.

Is your dad besotted by your DD? If he is, YABU.

I find it odd too OP when adults use obvious grown up terms for babies and small children. Not sure what you can do, it is your prerogative to call him on it, but I wouldn't be surprised if his huffy response happens too often, you need to decide if its worth pushing to the extent of a fall out if you want to make a stance or if you need to just grit your teeth and remind him each time you don't like it.

I wouldn't call a baby a "vixen" as it implies female calculated slyness (over sleeping ? really ?)

It's the sort of thing a sexist twat might say, so YANBU for feeling uncomfortable with it

What's your relationship like with your Dad?

If mine said this to my DDs I'd know for sure the way it was meant because he used to call me all sorts - boot was my favorite

But he'd never mean anything by them.

A sexist twat AF?

Blimey

I really don't think he meant anything untoward by it, but I just really don't like the word, as it reminds me of the word for the female dog. I just don't like the word being applied to tiny children. I didn't get annoyed, just explained that I really didn't like the word and calmly asked he stop using it about my DD. Huffy pants.

I think it is really sexist too and I wouldn't want my dd to be subjected to that from such an early age either, it sets a tone rhat its ok to put her down or categorize her nature on account of her gender and I would nip that in the bud ASAP if it where my family.

"might" say, AZZ...only the OP knows whether that is the case, but since she is uncomfortable enough to post about it, something is clearly bothering her

a sly female fox...and a baby

not really a great, nor appropriate, comparison is it

I understand where you're coming from. My Dad often refers to me and my sisters as besoms - a scots word for a difficult woman but can also mean a 'hussy'.
I find it quite offensive and sexist. I think 'vixen' has similar connotations and suggests a kind of cunning behaviour.
I doubt either of our fathers have meant it to be so offensive but I also doubt that they would describe boys in such a way!

yes, PT, although it isn't the same word as "bitch" the connotations are potentially the same, aren't they ?

'Huffy pants'

Just call him that if he forgets and uses the word again.

I would pull my Dad up about using such a word. He wouldn't use it in the first place though.

Yes, I get why you are uncomfortable. Just say that you'd rather he didn't use such words in front of her. If he respects you he will amend his ways.

I don't like it at all.

X post Pleasethanks - I see you have already had words with him. Totally justified.

I don't like the word at all either.

I think you may be overthinking this. Different generations often use words differently and I think to suggest there is any sexist motive is OTT.

Our local ladies rugby team are called the Vixens and I don't think anybody locally has inferred anything from the name.

It only means sly if you go along with the stereotypes foxes have attached to them AF.

But with a young child (although I know some adults do attach inappropriate adult emotions to children far too young to have them, and mean it), portraying them as cunning can be meant in a affectionate way.

Like I'm amazed at the cunning 3 YO DD2 shows and the lengths she'll go to to get something she knows she's not allowed to have and she is a bloody minx who's too clever for her own good sometimes but it's not inappropriate for me to say that about her.

I don't like the word personally, i would just tell him i find the word to adult and not to use it again.
I hate people that jokingly call their dds 'little tarts'-i gasp when i hear it

I was wondering about the generational thing Viper. I have never heard anyone use the word vixen though.

There is a difference ascribing such a word to sports team than a baby I think

little tarts ?

"sexy" children ?

"vixen" for a baby, implying knowing and cunning female behaviour

yuk

I don't have a problem with an adult sports team being called "vixens"

It'snot for me, because it sounds a tad patronising, but not the same connotations as a female baby, IMO

I don't like minx to describe little girls either tbh