Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find level of consumerism over Christmas slightly nauseating..

64 replies

sockmuppet · 22/12/2012 15:42

I am not judging others as I am party to this group activity at this time of year but as each year passes with my 3 dc's I have come to both love and dread the season in equal amounts.

Whenever I am out and about I see so many examples of children acting unbelievably "spoilt" (including my own) as they fail to cope with the sheer volume of consumerist activity surrounding them.

AIBU to be starting to find the whole over indulgence slightly nauseating and think that I am not alone in feeling this way?

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 22/12/2012 19:43

You really don't have to participate in the consumerist horror. It is entirely up to you.

My DD has already had her Christmas present (a piano). That's it, apart from a few small things that Father Christmas will bring her on Christmas morning and a present from my parents. The friends we will visit/who will visit us this Christmas will give her some small things.

Christmas for us is much more about seeing friends and, even more importantly, spending some quiet time together eating nice food!

RillaBlythe · 22/12/2012 19:47

I love Christmas but I hate all the pointless spending. YANBU.

Mynewmoniker · 22/12/2012 19:51

YANBU

AndrewD · 22/12/2012 19:56

You are not being unreasonable (+1) from me.

I'm an atheist but married to a Catholic. Never had Christmas as a child but now seeing my kids in the thick of it. Whilst I don't believe any of the bible, it seems bizarre that the charity and perhaps, modesty of Christianity is not just lost at Christmas, but totally buried by gluttony and greed. I keep quiet about it as I respect my wife's traditions and wishes, but seeing the kids subjected to fairy tales and overindulgence is really hard.

I saw this post and was stuck by how well it tuned with my feelings.

I would prefer it if we made a rule:

£x = £3y

£x = all the money spent on Christmas (presents, food, travel, etc)
£3y = money we would give to charity

So, if we spend £500-£1000 this Christmas then we'd HAVE to give £1500-£3000 to charity too, making the whole thing a £2000-4000 event.

I bet the Christmas gluttony would fall of a cliff but the charity would still be pretty decent and might be more in line with "what Jesus would do".

Mynewmoniker · 22/12/2012 20:57

I'm also a non believer. I think everyone should do a least one practical voluntary act of good for Christmas...and teach their kids to too. I reckon once they feel the buzz from real giving of time they would feel what is supposed to be the spirit of Christmas.

fellysmanny · 22/12/2012 21:10

I think that with a bit of planning you can give the children a fantastic Christmas period without the over consumption.
There are lots of lovely events going on - Christingles, Carol Singing, Messy Church events, watching the Christmas lights being turned on, etc, etc.
Maybe if you are totally non religious then a lot of those would be ruled out, but I am sure there are lots of other nice things you can do.
What I find very sad this year is the number of sales that are actually starting on Christmas Day. I always hated the Boxing Day sale thing anyway as it seems a way of breaking up what would otherwise be a lovely time to be with family, but with Christmas Day too I imagine people across the land willing the lunch to be over so they can get on their laptops/ mobiles/ ipads, etc to try and grab the bargains.

TeddyBare · 22/12/2012 21:51

I have this problem too. I hate that Christmas is about buying things. This year I made advent about doing something charitable or for someone / something else and that has kept the rage at bay so far. Instead of a sweet or picture advent calender I made a chain of little stockings and each one has a "challenge" for the day. Today's was delivering Christmas biscuits (the baking of which was yesterday's) to various elderly and housebound neighbours. Others that I can remember off the top of my head include sorting through toys for things to be donated, sorting through clothes for things to be donated, carol singing at a charity concert, making bird feeders, choosing which charities we will support next year and choosing a gift for a donate-a-gift thing in town. I still find it frustrating that there is so much pressure to buy things simply for the sake of having things to open, but I feel like this has helped me and the dc to remember to think about Christmas is a different way for at least a little while every day.

UhOhChongo · 22/12/2012 22:05

YANBU

I am finding myself out of step with so many social norms now it's making me feel a bit unhinged. Or just old Confused

AudrinaWhiteChristmasAdare · 22/12/2012 22:07

I was at my parents house earlier and my Dad had bought a "Christmas Millionaire" lottery scratchcard.

One of the games was based on Christmas presents and to "win", your present had to weigh more than, their present.

Yes, that's what the giving season is all about Hmm

NilentSight · 22/12/2012 22:15

YANBU. I had to nip to Tesco earlier for cat food - it really was grotesque to see the amounts of food that people were buying - stuff literally falling out of the trolly.

Cerealqueen · 22/12/2012 22:28

YANBU - this need to open something on Christmas day drives me mad. I like a present, I like nice things, but I have enough, I don't need anything. If I do, I have to sell something to justify it now. We are broke this xmas and DP is finding it really hard not to go out and spend a fortune on presents for his family with money we don't have for half an hour of present opening on boxing day when we see them.
Kids, yes, fair enough. But grown ups? No.

It seems we are supposed to get into personal debt by spending to get the country out of a recession. Confused

AndrewD · 22/12/2012 23:04

Just noticed my equation was the wrong way round. Should be £3x = £y. C'mon people - someone should have spotted that already!

Mollydoggerson · 22/12/2012 23:18

AndrewD I like your suggestion and found it refreshing. I read out your post to DH and he said 'Miserable f^er'! LOL you are dead right, it is all so hypocritical, but then again didn't Christianity steal Chritmas from the pagans?

Original poster
sockmuppet · 23/12/2012 06:52

AndrewD

Your post made sense but your equation didn't and still doesn't because in the key you should have just written £y = money we would give to charity not £3y

£x = £3y

£x = all the money spent on Christmas (presents, food, travel, etc)
£3y = money we would give to charity

OP posts:
Original poster
sockmuppet · 23/12/2012 06:54

sorry was tryimng to cross out the 3.

y = money we should give to charity

and the equation is x = 3y

OP posts:
Original poster
sockmuppet · 23/12/2012 06:57

no sorry Andrew you're right 3x = y

Blush
OP posts:
exoticfruits · 23/12/2012 06:59

I don't think that you need to get caught up in the consumerism - you can have the sort of Christmas that you want. The only thing outside your control is presents given by your family- can't you try and get them to cut it down or change it?

Ruprekt · 23/12/2012 07:09

ATEOTD it is just a posh roast dinner with family!

That is all it is. With presents.

Why people feel the need to do a BIG SHOP and spend £hundreds is beyond me!

IsGratefulNotToDoChristmas

whistlestopcafe · 23/12/2012 07:09

YANBU. I am a hypocrite as my children end up with far too much, we have a large extended family which equals a lot of gifts. This is the first year that I have felt really uncomfortable with the amount they have and we have to think about making changes for next year.

We do buy nice food and wine at Christmas but I'm ok with this. During the rest of the year we live off Tesco value range and don't buy any treats. We can over indulge once a year.

whistlestopcafe · 23/12/2012 07:12

TeddyBare, what a lovely idea! Think
I might steal that for next year. Smile

TheCountessOlenska · 23/12/2012 07:29

YANBU

My 2 and a half year old is getting the hang of Christmas this year for the first time - but I feel kind of sad that everyone (including us) have been asking her what she wants for Christmas, what presents Father Christmas will bring, when really she doesn't have much idea yet about receiving presents - and has been far far more excited about decorating the tree, making Christmas biscuits with Granny, and her Auntie coming on the train on Christmas eve. Next year, at 3 and a half, I'm sure she will be demanding all sorts and this will have been instilled by the adults around her.

FredFredGeorge · 23/12/2012 07:31

YABU - because despite your avowed avoidance of all things gluttinous, you admit that your own children act "spoilt" (and I suspect the reality is there's no where near as much as you think you just only notice and remember the bad behaviour not the majority of children behaving well the majority of time). But if it is, because your children in the non-gluttinous non-consumerist society show the same actions it's unlikely to be any sort of celebration that causes it.

You can certainly very easily have the sort of christmas you want - I don't get any gifts personally, and my family appear happy to limit buying for DD ("please don't waste money, please nothing that won't fit in the house!) But I also don't see the christmas you describe much at all - or think it's a particularly bad thing, people can give presents if they like, not if they don't. I choose to give presents, but not to receive - although some people have also asked me to stop giving.

I'm pretty sure the lack of exercise and over-indulgence in food the other 50 weeks of the year are a lot more damaging to peoples health than having a few extra calories and drinks over christmas - (although looking back I don't put on weight over christmas and I just eat and drink what I choose)

WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes · 23/12/2012 07:42

My two have certainly acted up a bit in the last week, but not so much about the presents, just exhausted from a very long term at school and a non-stop whirr of extra Christmas activities. I've been thinking about asking my family to cut back on the amount of presents they give (my parents give several to each of us) but don't want to hurt their feelings, they aren't particularly materialistic people, I think they've just never got out of the habit of buying my DB and I multiple presents as they did when we were children and now they are doing it for the DCs.

The food thing is a bit crazy, but I think it is a vicious circle, we are so used to being able to pop to the supermarket any time we like but at this time of year it becomes hellish and no on wants to have to go back for several days, so we stock up, then the queues get longer and longer and it gets worse and you end up sticking more stuff in the trolley to avoid having to come back again too soon.

missingperson · 23/12/2012 07:45

YANBU.

I'm not religious but after a recent Xmas shopping trip I felt so overwhelmed by the huge amount of unneccessary stuff on offer that I had to go and sit in a church to calm down.

I feel that I am fighting a losing battle trying to get my DCs to see my view that there is more to Xmas than just presents.