Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is a bit of a back-handed compliment?

18 replies

ButterPopcorn · 22/12/2012 12:48

Work Christmas party last night. I've been working there nearly 2 years. Got chatting with a woman who was on maternity leave when I first started, and returned part time after that, we also have different lunch breaks. So I don't really know her that well, but I do like her.

She was a bit "merry", as we all were, and said "I really like you, ButterPopcorn, you're a funny one- you know what you want out of work and know how to get it. You're not in it to make friends, are you?"

I just kind of laughed along but it has been on my mind, worrying that I'm known as unfriendly at work?! Now it is quite a cliquey workplace, with people being friends long before I started there. For example someone was someone else's bridesmaid recently. So there are some strong friendships already formed, and to be honest the people are not that similar to me in tastes like music, TV programmes etc, probably not people I would be friends with outside of work. But I am friendly, chat about what people have been up to over the weekend, share stories about my nephew who is the same age as some of their children, compliment people's outfits, hair cuts etc. I don't socialise with them outside of work, but I have never been invited to- some of them go to cinema, for tea together etc. I did go to someone's wedding evening do along with a group. Have sent Christmas cards to everyone at work.

I do have one good friend at work, she started there a few months after me so another newbie in a way so we came together and I found we had more similar tastes in music etc. We go for tea/nights out together, I babysit her little girl (she is a single parent) and recently helped her out when she had a spell in hospital, that no one else at work even knew about.

So AIBU to think it's a bit of a back-handed compliment to say "You can tell you're not in it to make friends", and that I should try to make more effort, or am I reading too much into it and should just shrug it off?

OP posts:
Snusmumriken · 22/12/2012 13:07

She was being very rude. Try not to dwell on it.

ButterPopcorn · 22/12/2012 13:25

Thank you! I'll try not to. I was already feeling a bit awkward because I don't normally wear make up to work, or much on nights out either but I had put some on for the party, and as soon as I arrived an older lady who has a reputation as being a bit "prickly" started saying to me "Are you hot? You look really flushed", I insisted I was fine, but she kept on until I sort of muttered "Oh, I think it must just be my make up..." and sidled off to the toilets to try to blend it in a bit more.

OP posts:
cumfy · 22/12/2012 14:11

you know what you want

What do you think, she thinks you want ?

AKissIsNotAContract · 22/12/2012 14:15

Don't worry, people talk shit when they are drunk. I told everyone I have a massive vagina at a Christmas party a last week.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 22/12/2012 14:20

What's wrong with what she said.

I own my own business, but when I was employed I wasn't in it to make friends. I have friends, that's not why I went to work.

my career moved up quicker than all the people who were more interested in making friends.

Interestingly the people who thought this about me, saw it as a positive.

Iheartpasties · 22/12/2012 14:22

A massive vagina??? That made me spit out my coffee

AViewfromtheFridge · 22/12/2012 14:26

Do you have a massive vagina?

Pagwatch · 22/12/2012 14:37

What on earth brought up the topic of your vagina? Or did you just feel the need to announce?

Grin
AKissIsNotAContract · 22/12/2012 15:45

I have no idea how the topic came up! I couldn't even remember it until someone reminded me the next day and the shame came flooding back. I don't know about massive but it is rather accommodating Blush

Anyway, my point was that she might not have meant what she said and may not even remember saying it.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 22/12/2012 15:56

"I have a massive vagina". Oh my!! Thank god I don't have to worry about office parties Xmas Grin

OP, what your colleague said was rude, but let it go. They are not your kind of people anyway.

ChristmasPickles · 22/12/2012 15:58
headinhands · 22/12/2012 17:34

I vouch to never drink so much that I tell people about my massive vagina.

AViewfromtheFridge · 22/12/2012 18:45

I think it's good that you're proud. The world needs more massive vaginas.

aquashiv · 22/12/2012 20:52

Don't worry, people talk shit when they are drunk. I told everyone I have a massive vagina at a Christmas party a last week.
Now this is why I love Mumsnet.

ButterPopcorn · 22/12/2012 22:11

Thanks everyone- all this talk of massive vaginas has made me laugh Grin

OP posts:
Drywhiteplease · 22/12/2012 22:17

But OP she did start with " I like you...". I like people who know what they want. The bit about friends was a bit odd though. She's rude. Pissed. Ignore her stupid woman.

AKiss that is funny...I just yelped and now my teenagers want to know why????Xmas Grin

AKissIsNotAContract · 22/12/2012 22:21

You should tell your teens, let it be a cautionary tale not to drink too much!

apostrophethesnowman · 22/12/2012 22:39

I am literally choking with laughter at the massive vagina comment!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread