To not want to talk dh through whenever he goes shopping!

[notnagging]

Everytime he goes I have to stay on the phone & talk him through! Surely a grown man should be able to get a few things from the supermarket without an audio guide! Whenever his brother goes he face times!

YANBU. Can he not take a list?

Same here. Had to give DP a detailed description of where to find the batteries the other day.

I refuse to go to with him, he'll have to manage :)
At least he's going... Saves me having to change out of PJs

He sends me pictures while he's there as well. I can hear him with an assistant. I've told him thanks for trying, I'll go later.

Wtf? Is there goig. To be a massive drip feed like he has a brain condition? I am not taking the piss. Its a genuine question.
I can't think of another reason that this would be ok. You may as well go yourself.

Dh does ALL our shopping. But I could still go myself. Its just that dh likes doing it and I don't. And he does the cooking.

But i still could do shop for god sake.

I've told him not to bother. He keeps sending me pictures of the stuff I've asked him to get to double check. It's doing my head in.

I has this talk with dh this morning.

I don't mind what he does/doesn't do in preparation for Christmas. BUT if he does something, he should be able to do it without checking with me every five minutes.

And if he doesn't do it, he should stop criticising the fact that I either don't do it or do it differently from the way he would do it.

Checking every 5 minutes would be nice. It's the constant ringing & sending pictures for very item that's getting on my nerves!

OP are you someone who has to have a certain brand? Or is it that your DH doesn't like shopping and is doing this on purpose so that you'll never ask him to do it again?

I have sent my DH with a print of a basket full from an online shop before. I realise this means I'm probably doing the shipping for him.

What he finds most difficult is making substitution decisions, the I do get pics etc. I sympathise, we must make it all look easy: they'll only learn to do it though if we keep encouraging them.

He can only check in with you if you are available. Go and have a bath or something and tell him it's up to him to do it. If he messes up, he can fix it.

Stop treating him like a child. My 13 year old ds can get a weeks worth of shopping without a list. It's not hard. It's food they eat all the time.

That said, does he have a learning difficulty?

If I ask my husband to go shopping I write the list in the order you go round the shop. He hates shopping and is rubbish at it. He won't pick the best deal or the longest best before date so I write down exactly what he needs.

Once I put 'White seedless grapes' on the list. He came back saying he spent 20 mins looking for White ones but they didn't have any so he got green ones instead!!!!!!

I'm starting to wonder about learning difficulties now

"we must make it look easy"?! Um- it's not rocket science! How do these men function at work? Surely they aren't always pestering their bosses to hold their hands through every basic task?

Nah, it's just a ploy to get out of a tedious task. Supermarkets are hideous. Too bright, too loud, too crowded. Full of crap we don't need. Who wouldn't avoid it if they could.

I've seen your DS! He is standing in front of the cheese section gazing blankly at the five different kinds of halloumi while an irritated female voice comes out of his phone.
YANBU - unless you chew him out for bringing back something which, while perfectly sensible, is not exactly what you would have bought if you'd done the shopping yourself.

Ha ha. So I'm not the only one!

Mine isn't very good at it either. You aren't alone.

He has a complete inability to see things whether they are in cupboards, drawers, freezers or on supermarket shelves. It's as if he shuts his eyes before looking.

I'm the same in the garage though - I can never find a screwdriver

DH used to do this, so I stopped answering the phone. Turns out he can engage his brain enough to get what we need without constant supervision, he just didn't have to bother when I pandered to it.

I actually see it as a feminist issue. Despite otherwise being quite feminist, somewhere very deep down he'd taken in that it was women's work and not worthy of his full attention.

My dp can do a food shop quite easily. Unfortunately marketing designed at children works very well. He often comes back with extras - usually over priced, brightly coloured crap like the most expensive smoothies when he could have got a basket full of fruit for the same price.

Just give him a list then switch off your phone. I'm sure he'll learn to cope.

(Why anyone would actually have the conversation rather than just say "I'm sure you'll sort it yourself)

I potentially have this problem with my husband too. I've learned that if I want a very specific thing then I must specify that and don't buy anything else if they don't have it. Other than that, make your own decision, you're the shopper.

I do wonder if some women really do hen-peck their husbands for doing things 'wrong' to such an extent that the husband feels they'd better check-in before they make a mistake? Not saying anybody on this thread is guilty of that but...

Yes, LyingWitch, some women do henpeck their husbands to this extent! I know a man who has photos on his phone of how things are supposed to look in the house (eg the exact arrangement of cushions on the sofa) so he doesn't face the Wrath of Wifezilla if she "leaves him in charge" by getting things wrong.

Blue stocking that is very extreme. I hope my dh never gets like that. I'm thinking he's doing it on purpose as he doesn't like shopping & is worried he'll get it wrong. He's on the cheap rather than quality side which is the opposite to me.

Oh, my husband is a bugger for this. If it doesn't leap out and kick him in the nuts, "they didn't have any"

Or my personal favourite "I bought loads so I wouldn't have to go back again."

The best one was 10. Yes. TEN. large tubs of cottage cheese.

Eat within - three days.

For the next two days, everyone who came to my house left with a tub of cottage cheese.

Bollocks to accepting it and letting him off the hook though. I'm not falling for the Crap Shopper act

He's a fully functioning adult male of nearly 50 years of age. I do not accept he is incapable of buying shopping. He can get his arse down to tesco just as well as I can. Items don't get sucked towards my magical fanjo.

notnagging... so, you say to your husband, "step away from the blue & white (Tesco) packaging and the orange & white (Sainsbury) and whatever other colour the non-desirable products are packed in"... you should be right then.

From my experience, men really don't care much - bread is bread, spread is spread - unless you specify a preference.