or was DH rubbish at small shopping task

[MichelleRooJnr]

Dh headed into town at lunch time for "an hour" to pick up some bits.

I asked to get a little something to add to neice's birthday pressie while he was there.
It's her 8th birthday on 30th Dec, I've got her some pyjamas but wanted a little fun thing to put in with them.
I suggested some little girl smelly/beauty thing from Boots or some kiddie chocs from Thorntons.

Asked him to get some birthday wrapping paper for her too.

At 2:30 I phoned to see what was keeping him - he said town was mad but he was nearly done - just had to get neice's stuff.
He arrived home at 4 (town is 10 min walk away).

He had bought a bag of haribo sweets. Normal 99p bag - not special christmassy or anything.
He had also bought a sheet of expensive designer wrapping paper with pics of vw campervans on it!

I calmly told him both were shit and I would go shopping myself tomorrow to buy appropriate pressie and wrap.

He thinks I'm ungrateful and nasty. Town was crazy, he had his own stuff to do and there's nothing wrong with what he bought!
"We ended up - stupidly - having a big row about it and he will not accept that his efforts were just shit!

AIBU? (Do I need to apologise?)

yabu, you have a present and these was extra.

growing up with a birthday 11 days before christmas i would of loved anything that was not connected with christmas

YANBU but he is a man. I would apologise for being so angry but still go out yourself for better presents...though no Xmas wrapping paper.

I would wait till the sales when it's cheaper personally unless you only seeing her before Xmas and her birthday.

YANBU about the Haribo - that is just a shit present, regardless of Christmassiness (which IMO would be inappropriate anyway - keep birthday separate!)
YANB that U about the paper either - why not get something age-appropriate for a little girl? Sounds like he bought something he'd like himself (Normal for some men)

YABU to have a big row about it though. Just not worth it. Don't apologise for telling him his shopping was crap (it was) but do apologise for rowing over it.

Thoughtless and shit.

Unless she really really likes bog-standard Haribo and vw campervans.

And he is a massive twat for calling you ungrateful and nasty. You bought the main present and you are incredibly kind for wanting a something extra for a child who has a birthday at the end of December

Yanbu that is a shit effort.

Haribo are fine - you don't want Christmassy anything for a birthday - because it's not Christmas, no matter how close it is.

He was definitely BU with the paper though unless your DN is into VW Campervans

Haha DN is not - that I know of - into campervans.
I have apologised for going 'off on one' but he still thinks I'm mad for going to buy new stuff tomorrow.
I've got to post it tomorrow - she is in Ireland, I'm in England.
You're so right about him buying paper he'd like! And sweets - he said "but I love Haribo"!
I know 'he's a man' is a bit pathetic, but it really is the difference between just easily picking up something appropriate and getting it sooo wrong.
Gah. It seemed like such a simple task.

If I sent my Aspie out to get stuff, he'd come back with what he liked rather than something appropriate, that's how he's wired.
However, you gave specific instructions:

'I suggested some little girl smelly/beauty thing from Boots or some kiddie chocs from Thorntons.
Asked him to get some birthday wrapping paper for her too.'

So YANBU and I'd have been pissed off too.

Crap!!

I got my dd some moshi monsters perfume in boots, which she is going to love. Idea?

I think I would be concerned for my dh if he couldn't manage that BUT some people are just realllly bad at shopping.

You never know the "stuff" he was doing may have been a fab present for you!

Yes, perhaps right now he is wrapping you up some Haribo in campervan paper!

Blimey. You had a massive row about that? OK, it was not exactly what you ordered, it was his (fairly reasonable) version. And you went off on one?

I think you need to have a think about your attitude, not his.

So, yes YABU.

My dd would love some haribo and kids don't really pay attention to wrapping paper.

all this 'he is a man' is so ridiculous.

Yabu.

YABU

Your niece will be perfectly happy with the gift, and the paper sounds fun!

Really, really not worth berating him for. If my spouse had spoken to me that way after I had braved the hell that is the shops right now, those Haribos would have been flung out of the back door and over the wall, along with a request to do the bloody shopping your bloody self.

It seems like it's that old chestnut about it not being about JUST the haribo and shit wrapping - but about lack of thought and not listening. I've had many a lame row myself that seems ludicrous when you boil it down, but this time of year brings the best out in all of us
YANBU

His efforts were not shit - well from his point of view they were perfect. Not only did he not spend too much on the sweets & you have campervan paper to wrap his pressy in next birthday, but you will NEVER EVER ask him to run an errand like this again. Win/win from his POV....