2B pissed off over "persistent absenteeism" letter re DS

[FossilMum]

So today in DS's (he's in Reception) bookbag I got a red letter from HT complaining of his "persistent absenteeism", which has apparently been "reported to the Dept of Education", and which school apparently "hopes will improve next term". He missed 11.5 days of school:
5.5 days to go to my brother's funeral in Canada (absence agreed by school beforehand)
3 days, 3 weeks ago, when he had Norovirus and had violent D&V (school informed 1st morning)
2 days, last week, when they let him scratch his eczema at school and it got so infected all the backs of his legs were weeping pus and he ended up on 2 types of antibiotics and wearing stocking bandages for 4 days (school informed 1st morning)
1 day in October to see the doctor when he complained of a really violent headache after 9 days of escalating headaches (school informed that morning; GP sent us for emergency brain scan, which thankfully found nothing).

What good is this letter supposed to do??? In my case it made me burst into tears, then get really, really angry. Yeah, I hope no more family members die suddenly next term too. I hope my son won't be violently ill, or get me worried that he might end up in hospital with MRSA or a brain tumour. And I hope I won't get any more nasty "you are clearly an irresponsible/crap parent" letters to cheer me up after dealing with all that.

And what will the school or the DoE do to us if he does have to have more "persistent" time off for illness again next term?

How old is he? He isn't even compulsory school age until the term after he turns 5.

Turned 5 in Sept.

We should really be in bed by now, shouldn't we?!

I used to teach and worked for the dept of education for a bit. It is a gov policy, school absences have been a big target recently. So many children miss a week for a holiday or whatever.
All your absences sound very reasonable- I'd be worried if your son WAS in school on those days.
But I think it is a standard letter/requirement if a child misses a certain number of days (i think 7+) per term... Even if authorised.
Ifyou want piece of mind...Maybe (calmly) contact your head, expaining each absense and refering to your letters letting them know before, sound very concerned about your sons education rather than angry and ask if it was a standard letter or if she genuinely beleives your son should have been in school. See what reply you get.

Schools have targets regarding absence and while I do think such letters need to go to those who book a week in tenerife because it is cheaper or take their child off because they have the slightest headache or (as one child in my class once did) to attend glastonbury festival. Those are where parents aren't taking their childs education seriously and are sending messages to the child school isnt important. NOT people like you who have had a few very serious and genuine reasons.

They are "unauthorised" becasue you haven't put it in writing, which as far as I'm aware is a legal requirement.

A question for any of you.

When you choose a school for your child do you look at the attendance figures?

In ds3's school each child has a file and any correspondence from home is kept in it (presumably for the length of the child's time in the school). If ds is off I always let them know in writing either in advance for appointments or on the day he returns for illness. I normally provide great detail ie. Ds has a hospital appointment this morning and I intend that he will return to school at lunchtime, however depending on the treatment he receives he may be unable to return until tomorrow.

I don't have a huge problem with certificates for perfect attendance if they are ofset with other certificates (being brave, good effort) but Ds was off last Monday after having a high temperature, sore throat and cough at the weekend. He still has a dreadful cough and, if he had been in line for an I-pad for perfect attendance, he would have been in school coughing his germs over everyone in time for Christmas and I could have saved myself a days annual leave.

Hi OP.

Something similar happened to me, when my son was the same age. He had pneumonia at the time. I got a letter threatening £2500 fines and basically telling me I was ruining my child's future because statistics prove absentee schoolchildren are never gonna get qualifications, a job, etc blah blah . Like you, my son was 5 and very ill .

I personally thing it is the Education-State-Machine-Power gone mad. Nobody bothered confirm that your son had been ill, or there had been a bereavement, though presumably they knew already. As far as the Education System is concerned it seems to me that all parents with children at state schools are now viewed as a**holes who need to be brought in line.

Sorry, I am going off on a tangent of my own here. But I do sympathise, you are not alone with these kinds of stupid and threatening letters.

On a practical level, I don't know what to suggest, its up to you. I remember I burst into tears at the time and went to the headteacher, crying . As my son has gotten older (now 10) I have gradually got harder in my dealings with the Education Authorities. I have lost alot of respect for my son's school (another post) and no longer think the Educations System overall has my child's best interests at heart, whereas I do.

it's a standards letter - don't get riled about it

We had one for DD2 last year as she was sick for 3 weeks with dysentery - school told me to ignore it!

It is a standard letter - you have gone beyond the 10 days authorised absence limit that most local authorities set.... so you will be contributing to the attendance figures for your school... no point worrying about it... at least they have acknowledged you have given reasons

You don't need it in writing.
The office can take a message and it will be entered on the register that you have phoned in or whatever.

The school is probably obliged to inform you that your child's attendance has reached an "unacceptable" level. Try not to worry OP, you have legitimate reasons for his time off.

Also I wish people would stop frightening you with their insistence that you must sent in a letter for your child's sickness absence to be authorised. That is purely a requirement that some individual schools choose to make. I have 3 children in 3 different schools, both primary and secondary, and I have never ever had to write a letter. I am simply obliged to phone up in the morning to explain that they will be absent and why.

I understand you are upset about it because you probably feel that it's personal, but it's a bit of a standard catch-all strategy to push the ones who just cba to get into school, but more importantly, to warn the parents (and you'd be surprised at how many there are) who don't want their children to go to school for whatever reason: free childcare at home, they've got bruises or injuries because of abuse, they want company themselves, are too drunk to get their child up and ready and so on.

In DS's school, if you phone in on each day of sickness, it is authorised absence. You don't need a note but you do need to phone in every day.

OP- it sounds to me like you've done your best, I don't think they're after parents like you, but obviously you've been caught in the crossfire and have ready explanations. It's obviously a blanket policy. If you're concerned, talk to the Head. Good luck.

I got one too this morning. DD (14) has a father with terminal cancer who lives and hour and a half away, we're dealing with her moderately severe self-harm and depression issues (probably related to father's illness) and she's been off for the last 8 days of school due to the flu-like virus going round that the school send a letter out about, asking us to keep kids off if they are remotely unwell.

School are aware of the illness of her father and the s/h and I have regular conversations with her HoY. Her attendance is at 76% (all absences are authorised) and I got a shitty letter this morning which I read and binned. It was clearly a standard format letter which I knew I'd likely get, as HoY had warned me. I know she's missing some school, I know it's important that she attends but it's also important that somehow she keeps body and mind going at the moment. As far as I'm concerned, her HoY and I are talking, and we're in agreement that she'll attend school as much as she can, but that won't be every single day. Tbh, I think 76% isn't bad considering the circs.

Do not ignore it.

Email them back a short note confirming absences and reasons as well as any medical intervention.

End it with I trust you will amend records so theses are recorded as appropriate and not matters for concern.

In eight years (to date) of schooling, I have never sent in a written sick absence letter. A phone call always sufficed.

I always receive these letters as have two children with medical conditions. Do what I do, ignore. Most schools don't act upon them and it just the school showing that they are doing what they are supposed to do in cases of absence, if they get themselves get checked up on. Please do not worry.

Really don't agree with anything that encourages children to go to school sick (or adults to work). What is clever or a good ethic about infecting everyone else? Surely if more people are sick it just decreases work and productivity and no I'm not cross that DS2 has hand, foot and mouth disease for Christmas due to someone going to nursery with it and not admitting it.