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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel teacher was unfair to call dd dramatic

44 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 21/12/2012 22:37

DH picked up dd1 from school and her teacher told him dd fell over and was very dramatic but there wasn't even a mark so perhaps she needs an earlier night.

Now, dd is 4 and goes to bed between 7pm and 7.30pm and is fine but it's the end of her first term so i'm fine with the fact she's tired and think ok, we'll keep an eye on it.

At bed time dd pulls down rights to reveal a very site looking bruise and grazeon her knee and I completely understand why she cried. Turns out teacher didn't look but took word of dinner lady. I'm sure it's not malicious but I feel sad dd was labled dramatic and had us telling her that even if she is tired she needs to basically toughen up. I probably would have cried if I'd fallen that hard.

Probably bu but teachers story doesn't match reality.

OP posts:

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 22/12/2012 07:34

With regards to the poster who stated if she didn't rip her tights she couldn't have hurt herself. .. rubbish

I didn't say she could have hurt herself. I said it can't have been that bad. Dislocating s knee would damage you tights. I am sure the cuts were really bad, but that's quite unusual.

Also the fact that the op or her as didn't mention it at home and it wasn't checked til bedtime suggests it wasn't that bad.

IvorHughJanglySleigh · 22/12/2012 07:46

I don't think you're being unreasonable, same happened to me when I was small. Teacher didn't look under my sock, where I had a huge gash, and told my mum Id grow us to be an actress. I still have a huge scar on my ankle twenty years later. Don't worry about it though, just reassure dd that you know she didn't over react- it won't do her any harm to find out teachers aren't infallible beings

Feenie · 22/12/2012 07:49

So you waited till bedtime to check the wound when you knew dd was upset enough about it to cry?

MatureUniStudent · 22/12/2012 09:42

I think I would take from this the measure of the teacher. As you go through school, each teacher is different and approaches incidents differently. On the plus side it teaches your child that different adults behave differently and thus they need to behave differently according to the teacher they have. On the negative side, sometimes you just have to grit your teeth, be supportive of the child, and ensure they behave appropriately so they don' incur the teacher's "wrath". Its a good survival lesson for the future and secondary school.

Or you can be a chicken like me, and avoid the playground until hauled in by the teacher for your DS appalling behavour :)

MatureUniStudent · 22/12/2012 09:45

Oh and in fairness to DS, it was always his homework that was the appalling behavour - he was incredibly inventive as avoiding doing his homework and I was equally as useless as enforcing primary school homework. :)

Jingleallthejay · 22/12/2012 09:53

Your dd fell she probably wailed and did a fake limp she has a slight bruise and graze , 4/5 yr old can be very dramatic about things like that as if their leg /head is going to fall off, you sound slightly dramatic yourself about it

BoundandRebound · 22/12/2012 09:55

Sounds like your daughter takes after you

No big deal really

Damash12 · 22/12/2012 11:06

Wow I'm so surprised at the harsh replies on here. Your child is 4, fell over and like 4 year olds felt at that time it was the end of the world. Isn't a teacher supposed to show some empathy and a little there there and all is then forgotten. Bloody hell I'm sure bit happens every day of every week and there's no need to be calling the child "dramatic" . I would be bloody annoyed especially re the insinuation of giving her more sleep. If not for the school holidays I would have made a point of seeing the teacher and commenting there was a bruise but it will probably be too late to raise by the time they go back but no yanbu.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 11:26

The teacher wasn't even the one that was there when the fall happened! It's probably worth focusing on how your dd was dealt with by the dinner lady at the time it actually happened if you are going to focus on anything about this.

School support staff like TAs and dinner ladies often do a lot more of the nurturing and caring side of things than teachers do, I don't think parents always realise that there are other people at school that have just as much influence and input into small children as the class teacher.

Greensleeves · 22/12/2012 11:29

Bound that is just rude.

MrsCampbellBlack · 22/12/2012 11:32

My eldest's reception teacher used to tell me all the time what a drama queen he was and how young he was all accompanied by much eye-rolling. He was the youngest in the class so obviously he was young.

I used to find it very annoying of her but then she was pretty joyless. There are many wonderful teachers but some who I do question if they even like children.

But if its a one off comment and the teacher is usually good i'd just ignore.

hackmum · 22/12/2012 12:38

I can pretty much guarantee that if any of the adults on this thread fell over and bruised themselves they'd make a fuss about it, and probably talk about it the rest of the afternoon too. No idea why people are so unsympathetic to children.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/12/2012 12:45

Really, hackmum, if I feel over I'd be getting up as quickly as possibly, praying that nobody saw and I wouldn't mention it to a soul...

BOFingSanta · 22/12/2012 12:56

Come on, no need to be unpleasant just because you can, some people! Go and channel that aggression in Asda- apparently it's heaving and there are bargains to be had!

akaemmafrost · 22/12/2012 13:13

I'd be irritated too OP. Not enough to say anything unless asked, which is unlikely. I was fuming when dd was put on The Sad Face Board for not listening, she has HFA and delayed social communication.

OTOH hard it's hard to react perfectly every time my own dc fall over, which can be up to 10 x a day (other child with dyspraxia) sometimes I am very much "oh just get ON with it!". So I can imagine teachers do need to play it down in a class room full of 5 year olds.

Happymum22 · 22/12/2012 13:16

kids are always going to cry if they fall over at that age, its the shock more than anything. It is dramatic- she didn't say OVER-dramatic, just dramatic.

..It is just your teachers way of describing it, teachers are incredibly busy and sometimes they take others words for it, your dd had probably stopped crying etc by the time she was back with her teacher and so there was no point in teacher checking her leg. If she checked every childs bump and graze after each breaktime then over a week she'd probably be wasting an hour.

Don't stress over it, its christmas, your DD will live

MrsCampbellBlack · 22/12/2012 13:33

God I would hackmum. I just can't imagine where my children get their dramatic tendencies from

Floggingmolly · 22/12/2012 14:02

If the tights were intact it can't have been that bad? As to the dramatic remark, she may well have made a hell of a scene...

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 14:06

Hackmum, I don't think anyone's being unsympathetic to children, but children do like to show marks that are literally the size of a pin prick, that's just what children do. They can't be mollycoddled over every tiny little mark they get, otherwise you are just teaching them that they have too much reason to worry about insignificant things.

As long as the OPs dd received an appropriate amount of comfort and care when the fall actually happened, then that was really the only time that it was needed.

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